Photo TR: Natatomic does the West Coast Trip

Day 8, part 1: Legoland - page 14
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Postby BeemerBoy » Tue Sep 08, 2009 8:15 am

^ Now you definitely can't wait until Christmas for your next post. That would just be awful. Awesome to see you're ahead of schedule on the report, Nat. Lovin' every minute of it!
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Postby CorkscrewFoley » Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:03 am

Nat, I have to ask, but what was the first best concrete corridor you went through? ;)

As always, your captions are hilarious. Keep up the good work.

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Postby dandaman » Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:58 am

natatomic wrote:^I never think to look at my post count either, but oh crap. My next post (probably the CGA update) will be #666! Hmmm, I'm gonna have to find some way to sneak some crucifixes and holy water into the report.

That or just go for the ol' "Cedar Fair really IS evil" trick.

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Postby natatomic » Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:24 pm

Day 4: California's Great America

Okay, so this didn't end up being my 666th post. Shame, because it would've been rather appropriate for the park, I think. There really isn't much for me to say about this CGA. The only coaster I really enjoyed was Flight Deck, though it nearly killed me with it's intensity. It was small, but it was a bi- well, you know where I'm going with that. Other than that, it's your typical Cedar Fair park - trashcanapalooza, uninspired theming, lots of concrete and asphalt, little shade, and a couple of mediocre coasters that beat you up. However, I'd have to say it was my least favorite CF park that I had been to up to that point (I had yet to go to Knott's. Blegh.)

(Also, as I was uploading THE VERY LAST PHOTO, my computer froze and I thought I was going to have to restart it. OH the welling of the tears! I was 3 seconds away from throwing the computer across the room and downing a prozac with a vodka chaser, when it miraculously righted itself and all was well again. Honestly, this update is not my best - it's one of those 'gave it a lick and a promise' type of updates - but it still took FOREVER, and I was not amused at the thought of losing it all. Okay I really need to hit submit before my computer spazzes on me again.)
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Good thing there's not some punk kid standing in front of me ruining my shot of the entrance.
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Wait, which Great America is this again?
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Oh my gosh, this was an intense little sucker.
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Little known fact: Shaded queues are considered a cardinal sin in CF's twisted religion.
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Sometimes I like to pretend I'm artsy and actually know what I'm doing with my camera.
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I seem to only catch Jake mid-blink or post-joint or something.
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Don't let it's quaint size, B&M-ness, or soft mauve color-scheme fool you. It will kick your ass.
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Not even Mike Austin approves.

Wait, that's not weird...
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But these people are sad after riding Vortex too, so clearly, it's just a sucky ride.
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I think they're imitating squirrels more than mice, but whatever. I didn't want to be the one to stifle their imagination.
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Some people like these.

Some people like their feet.
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Neil and Jake are taking one last look at their feet...just in case.

(Tasteless? Too soon? I dunno...)
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Well, Neil seemed to enjoy it anyway. Everyone else seems bored.
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I didn't get a chance to go on this...
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...but I snapped a photo of some TPR people who did. Including Larry the bus driver! Hi Larry!
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Their eyes look so.....dead. Not even Neil's half-smile can hide the fact that they're souls have all been lost to Satan. Oh well, that's what happens when you ride a coaster called "Demon" and not "Jesus."
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Personally, I did not feel that this qualified as whoring for me. I grew up on Rugrats. I was riding merely for the nostalgia, you see.
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Hah, the first time I saw this picture I thought Piers was on a laptop there in the back.
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So, this was only the second inverted boomerang I had ever been on, and while it wasn't as smooth as the one at Kings Island, it was still FAR smoother than any SLC I've had the displeasure to ride. It's the difference of hitting your head too hard against a pillow vs being hit in the head with a sledge hammer. How'd you manage that, Vekoma?
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Honestly, I don't remember a damn thing about this coaster. I know it's suppose to be horrible but I....I can't seem to recollect a single personal feeling about this woodie. Soooo...well say it was Meh.
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Okay, I can't make any excuses for this one. THIS was whoring, pure and simple.
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Yeah, definitely whoring.
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Kerri is having what I think is an appropriate amount of fun for this kiddie, but SOMEONE is clearly over doing it just a bit.
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Then again, he did pay the kid $20 to ride with him, so he damn well better have freaking amazing time.
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At least he got some Chinese food out of the deal.

(Oh my gosh, that may be the most awful joke I've made yet...)
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When I own my own home one day, I'm gonna paint 'Pizza' on the roof just like this. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LIKE PIZZA. I am dedicated to the cause.
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Snappable or not, I can never resist a flyer.
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As much as I love water rides, my hair does not, and since my hair wears the pants in this relationship, I typically sit them out (the water rides, not the pants) and take photos of other people not being dominated by their hair.
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Just fyi, if I ever take a photo of Ben (as seen here), there is about a 90% chance that I have taken it with his lens that I stole (again, as seen here).
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Ahem. I'm going to refrain from comment for the next few photos, and you can insert your own - oh how do I put this delicately? - 'male-oriented' jokes.
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Oh wow. I just realized that was my last photo of the park. Huh, I guess that ended kind of abruptly. Anyway, we then had another long, long, long bus ride, in which the blood rushed to poor Dora's head...
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...Neil wet himself when Robb played a sing-a-long video from his childhood...
CGA 180.jpg
...and Robbie decided to turn his security in his masculinity into a eye-protecting accessory.

Next: SFMM

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Postby Mike Austin » Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:21 pm

LOL. Fantastic report Natalie.
I love the photo captions. Even the ones which are just pure cheese, I still laugh at. ::)

I want to go back in time. :cry:

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Postby natatomic » Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:18 pm

^Thanks Mike! And in case I haven't done this yet, thank you to everyone for all the lovely comments so far!

CorkscrewFoley wrote:Nat, I have to ask, but what was the first best concrete corridor you went through?

The Utilidor, of course. :mickey:

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Postby sfmmrules! » Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:53 pm

Survivor was fun but I can't go on it anymore since it spins same w/Delirum & Endavor & even the Flying Eagles & Celebration Swings & the Spongebob Boatmobiles. Those all make me feel sick after! Oh & even the Berserker oh & Centrifuge.:( Endavor is my favorite. Too bad I can't go on it. At least the Drop Zone at CGA is one of the tallest. Vortex & The Grizzly are the ABSOLUTE WORST. The Demon & Top Gun are ok. The Demon was my first upside down coaster back in 1993. I'm sorry but I'd much rather have Stealth over that dumb water park & Greased Lightnin instead of Firefall.
My Favorite Coasters: Mime-Big Thunder(DLA), Sit Down-Hulk,Viper(SFMM),Standup-Riddlers Revenge, Floorless-Medusa(SFDK),Scream, Indoor-Revenge Of The Mummy(USO), Space Mountain(DLA), Rock N Roller(DHS), Launch-California Screamin, Flyer-Tatsu, Woodie-Colossus(SFMM), Other-X2,Matterhorn Bobsleds, Hyper-Goliath(SFMM), Inverted-Batman(SFMM),Dueling Dragons,Montu, Boomerang-V2(SFDK) :b :airtime: :mickey:

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Postby the ghost » Sun Sep 13, 2009 11:23 pm

That Chinese joke took a sec, but lmao,that was amazing. Probably one of the most awesome captions ever.

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Postby natatomic » Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:29 pm

Day 5: Six Flags Magic Mountain

First of all, sorry for the delay. Though in all actuality, what I really should be saying sorry for is getting your hopes up by doing the previous updates so regularly, because that's not like me AT ALL. This speed, one update every week or two (sometimes three!), is more like it. However, I really WAS going to be good about this whole trip report and be on top of things, but last week was just a bad week. A terrible, depressing week. I got my heart broken and then - even WORSE - my camera broke. My fancy-shmancy, very expensive camera. The one without which this trip report would not be possible. And then my Nalgene bottle broke, and I JUST LOST IT. LIFE WAS NOT WORTH LIVING AT THAT POINT. OH WOE WOE WOE. But I got over two of those three things (that damn Error 99 message on my camera is just MOCKING me), and I am now here to tell you, gentlemen and/or stalkers, that this girl is once again available, and that title of mine underneath my username is no longer a tease but true as the holy gospel. So, if any of you out there are about to pounce on this opportunity to woo me, feel free to buy me a new camera. Or just poke me on facebook. Whatever, I'll take either, the low maintenance girl that I am.

Anyway! Trip Report! Six Flags Magic Mountain! I love Six Flags Magic Mountain! After all the negative things I'd heard about it in the past, I was pleasantly surprised at how wonderful it was. Of course, it didn't hurt that they gave us a bonus entry and ERT on Goliath the night before our official day at the park and then ERT on six - count 'em, SIX - coasters ON the official day. OH, and those fantastic Gold Q-bots, how deeply my love runs for them. It was all so perfect. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if the entire park was indoors and air conditioned because I really was this close *thumb and pointer finger only hairs apart* to dying from the heat. Dyyyyiiiiiinnnnnggg. It's not that I'm not used to the heat - because I certainly am - but between it, the exhaustion starting to hit from all the walking and lack of sleep from subsequent days, and me not drinking my normal amount of water (I drink 2 non-broken, 64-ounce Nalgene bottles-full a day, and my water intake probably dropped down to 16oz/day on the trip), I felt like DEATH. When I was a kid (and I swear I'm going somewhere with this), after a long day at the pool I'd get this really odd feeling in my lungs whenever I took a breath, and the deeper the breath, the more pronounced the feeling. It was like my lungs had turned to ice and with each breath it felt like the sides were starting to touch each other and stick or something (that's just what it felt like, I don't know what was actually happening), and if I took TOO deep of a breath, I'd go into this awful coughing fit. Since it only happened at the pool as a kid (where I'd spend hours and hours at a time), I assumed it had something to do with water. But then it happened at SFMM - no water there - so I then changed that theory to hours and hours of activity in the extreme heat. And since I never really did sit down and rest, it just got worse throughout the day, and I was almost expecting to just pass out and die on a coaster from whatever was going on in my chest. (Did it keep me from riding? Pshh. No. Not that I didn't care about my health, but I spent a pretty penny on this trip, and you better believe I wasn't going to let a little thing like MY LUNGS stop me from getting my money's worth). Anyone else ever experience anything like this? I've always been curious as to what it is.

Quick notes about some note-worthy rides:

X2 - In the dark? On an inside seat? Probably my #1 coaster. Or at least in the top 3. During the day, though? Eh, maybein my top 10. And on an outside seat? No.

Goliath - The helix broke my arms. For serious.

Terminator - Amazing. Tied for best woodie on the trip for me (along with Giant Dipper at SCBB, but for very different reasons. Apples and oranges, really).

Tatsu - That thing was GIGANTIC. OH MUH GUH.
SFMM, Universal, etc 002.jpg
Wow, everyone in the west really is a cowboy! The stereotype is truuuuuuuue!
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Either I had something embarrassing on me like toilet paper coming out of my pants, or these people just happy about morning ERT.

(The paranoid side of me thinks the former.)
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First, ERT on Revolution, which, by the way, does NOT have girl-friendly restraints.
SFMM, Universal, etc 014.jpg
And then Tatsu, which was my - bum buh-dah duuuum! - 250th coaster! And while I don't really consider 250 a "landmark" number, that didn't stop me from making a sign and showing of my dork-dome.
SFMM, Universal, etc 015.jpg
Neil also showed his dorky side, but at least he has a more respectable landmark number to show for it.
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And it's not just the size that makes Tatsu so big, it's how they used the hills to their advantage. Being that high off the ground in the flying position...mmm, it was a rush.
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Then again, some parts of it were just huge, pure and simple.
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Blegh. At least it was a credit.
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X x x 2 2 2
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Screw a love-seat, I want THIS in my living room.
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And after ERT, we got our Q-bots. Which is all I'm going to say about this photo.
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First, we headed to Superman, though it was more like Ordinaryman or Unremarkableman. At the apex of the climb, the car probably had 60-80ft of track left to go.
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It's nice to know that Superman supports polyandry, though.
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Neil the Ninja
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Riddler's Revenge, which, as far as stand-ups go, wasn't too bad.
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It was for VIPs only, but they let me in too for some reason.
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And then we rode The Ride.
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Colossus? More like a "Colossus" waste of time. Biiiiiiiitch please.
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Oh my gosh, what is this coaster called? I KNOW this. Ugh, it's on the tip of my tongue.
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So, when I have a daughter, I'm gonna name her "Lia" and bring her here to take her birth announcement pictures. Which will work out perfectly, since I'll already be in CA when she's born (you'll see why in a couple of updates from now. Sorry you have to wait for that to make sense).
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Whorey, whore, whore, whore, whore.
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Obviously, these people have no shame.
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Chris doing the Mr. Six dance.
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Next, we went up to the skytower thing, and it was at this point that I started going downhill in terms of feel-well-ness.
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I basically made one quick lap around the top to take pictures and then I lied down to rest and bask in the cool, crisp air of the A/C. Everyone else took their time to admire and take pictures of all the SF memorabilia also up there. I swear, I didn't see a single thing. :/
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(Ahem, I "borrowed" this photo from Ben's facebook)

As I was still feeling awful, I lied down on the concrete at the bottom of the skytower to get a photo of Tatsu flying by.
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And while the trainless picture turned out fine...
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...I don't know WHAT happened here. I mean, I guess it's still an okay picture - the whole train is there and all - but I wanted it to look like the previous picture only WITH a train. What happened, Nat? The heat, it fried my brain.
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But I DID get this awesome shot at least.
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The joke here is subtle...
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Does that help at all?
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And as long as I'm on a roll with Neil pictures...
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This picture was SO close to being clean and wholesome. OH so close...
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The few times I went to SFoG while Deja Vu was there, it was always closed. So I was quite glad to finally get the chance to ride one of these.
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I did think I was going to die on it though. There were a handful of jolts that definitely did not feel, uh...right.
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Honestly now, they should have named it Amish Terminator.
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But we didn't ride it until night ERT. Also, I was too near death at this point to make my way through the exit to get better pictures than this. Sorry.
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And since a couple of others weren't feeling so great, we decided to try this gimmicky pick-me-up: Oxygen! That's right, that stuff that you can get for free any time, anywhere? Well, now you can PAY for it! With your own hard-earned money! What a world.
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British Neil thought it was decent.
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I look high, but I still think it was just the heat stroke setting in.
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And here are a few of the scents they laced in my oxygen to (supposedly) give me a boost.
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There were two others, but this TR is really getting lengthy...
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So, I almost didn't include this picture because, you know, broken heart and whatnot, but it really is too good to leave out.
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All in all, (in my opinion) it either does nothing, or I was just too far gone for it to do anything for me. It sure did smell nice though. And we got to keep our nose things as a souvenir, so...not a total lost.
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By the way, this is what my feet looked like just THIS far into the trip. Even now, those tan lines still remain.
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Then we did the (almost) only flat ride in the entire park! This!
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Hi Mike! I hope you don't mind, but I'm about to "borrow" a picture or two from you as well.
I'm nothing if not lady-like.
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Wow, it got dark fast, eh? So time for Terminator ERT!
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Part of the preshow, though I don't remember much about it. I was too distracted by the number of other people who also got sucked into the for-profit oxygen scheme.
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You know, with the lack of humidity, my hair loved, loved, LOVED all of California (oh, it had never been so manageable).....Except for the station of Terminator. Not that my hair looked that great by the end of the day after 14 hours of coasters, but still. With all the misters constantly running in the station like that, I don't know how female ride-ops stand it.

Oh, and take the tunnel.
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And thus this wonderful day comes to an end.

Next: Universal Studios Hollywood.

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Postby Erik Johnson » Tue Sep 22, 2009 8:20 pm

Awwww...sorry for the simply rotten week that you have been having. If it makes you feel any better, I know that quite a few of us always look foward to your updates so thanks for posting.


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