The Bryan and Adam Show Thread

Yay!

 

I see that Spring Break crowds are in full force.

Edited April 25, 2011 by Erik Johnson

How long until the next hiatus?

 

 

I thought I felt a disturbing tremor in the Force, but it was just Adam jumping up and down.

If you scroll down really fast it looks like he's landing!

I did not know that about Spring.

Why, yes, you do owe me a new keyboard for the Imagination jew-god sequence.

"The Bryan and Moishe Show Season 3", kicking a$$es! I saw it on Facebook first. It fits perfectly.

By the way,.. this unbelievable airtime in spring,.. OMG! Thank you for sharing this amazing definition of airtime in spring!!!

^Are you feeling ok?

Good to see you guys back! Great TR!

Both this report and its responses are highly LOL-fortified.

I live in Jew-Hell FML

Stop ripping off the plots of iCarly episodes. Yeesh.

What an awesome report, I'm so glad it's back! Can't wait for the next installment in two years! I wish Disneyland would bring back their flavored churros (not jelly doughnut type), but I guess I was the only one who liked them.

HEY GUESS WHAT WE HAVE A NEW UPDATE AND IT ONLY TOOK A FEW YEARS THIS TIME

"Good luck in Macbeth!" -Adam

"YOU DARE NOT SAY THAT IN FRONT OF AN ACCOMPLISHED THEATRE ACTORE"

What kind of gross person leaves a mattress on top of their car while they go to a park (or work)? I can't stop thinking about this. They know it rains a lot in Florida, right? Are they attempting to ruin their mattress?

Oh, right. We go to parks in these.

I don't get the reference. What does the Bryan and Adam Show have to do with American Idol?

Adam takes gross pictures. I didn't crop this at all. I'm not kidding.

As we were entering, we saw some street performers, and THEY SAW US TOO.

You guys get it? He's the stupid one because his suspenders are on wrong!

I feel bad making fun of these guys. They all commit 100%, have zero irony in what they do, and are meant to be enjoyed by children. That being said: nice looking straight down the barrel, croc-boy. Why don't you wear something that clashes more on your next visit? I'll fight you. Seriously.

LOOK AT HIM, DEALING DRUGS ON PROPERTY!

Listen, I had no idea how creepy it looks to have my arm around Adam like that when we took the photo. I was really trying to do a "normal" pose like "normal" people.

Look at my fingers curl up on his shoulder. He might as well be my intern I'm holding him so close.

This is the "holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa" of DHS.

I don't get it.

"We just made out."

 

"AND THE KISSIN AND THE SMOOCHIN AND THE HATE OF MY OWN RACE"

"We just made out."

 

"A hackneyed joke based on a catchphrase from 60 years ago!"

Here's the traditional acknowledgement of the existence of Sounds Dangerous photo for this update.

The "Great" Movie Ride...

...Is sponsored by delicious and refreshing Coca-Cola Classic! Enjoy one today!

How elegant! It looks just like a terrible Chinese restaurant!

A. The Island

B. Battlefield Earth

C. Pootie Tang

D. Birth of a Nation

Fun fact: Adam has a family of squirrels living on his neck.

Wait why are we doing this?

I heard James Cagney once used a grapefruit as a sex toy. He never looked at breakfast the same way again.

So, remember when I was being nice about the street performers?

Let's just say, these people can shove it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MItMDkc343M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PyOfsKOmlE

Oh, right. Screw these guys.

"Bryan, you shouldn't be so mean to the cast members"

"They're trying to get by, just like the rest of us"

"BUT THEY DON'T DO ACTING GOOD AND MAKE ME FEEL NICE"

"He's right!"

"Also I don't like the black ones"

"Oops! Sorry, jew-god!"

"I'M NOT REALLY DEAD, I JUST LIKE SLEEPING ON DRY ICE"

"Lesson learned: don't begrudge bad actors at theme parks, don't be racist, and don't sleep on dry ice because that's totally weird"

Easy way to tell that this isn't New York: Adam isn't actively trying to avoid eye contact with other people.

Oh sweet release of Coca-Cola Classic, save me from this heck hole.

You must be wondering, why did Bryan say heck instead of the traditional, usual way of saying it?

Well, I ask you, why are you asking questions? This is a one-way form of communication! But to answer your question, our agreement with Coca-Cola forbids us from cussing in the captions of pictures depicting Coca-Cola Classic, which is delicious and refreshing.

"Why don't we go ride Midway Mania? It's my favorite!"

"What's that? You need to speak into my good ear, my other one keeps falling out"

WHAT IS THAT

KILL IT WITH FIRE

"Hey, what's that?"

"Oh, you mean this? It's called a topiary"

"Yeah, that! Let me point at it for a few more minutes and not say anything else because I like it so much"

I wonder how many companies Disney approached to sponsor rides, and how far down the list Hanes was.

Hey, you know what band is really really bad?

"Ha ha! I know all too well, Bryan."

 

"Thanks, guy from The Magic School Bus"

"Where's the armpit hair, Roth?!"

This is the part where I peed all over the queue.

If you ever thought this was clever, you don't belong in this thread. We don't want your business around here.

See how much I love you guys?

Oh yeah, I guess Adam loves you too.

EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE

 

RNRC IN DISNEYLAND

 

SOMEONE PICK UP THE RED PHONE, LANCE FROM SCREAMSCAPE IS ON THE OTHER END

Then we went on The Scary Door Tower of Terror

Ugh, why can't this be at a ride I don't actually like? Why do you have to make my job so hard?

The scariest of all equations are theoretical ones, we all know this.

You're entering an area in the vicinity adjacent to a location. The kind of location where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples, it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door

So I don't really remember the plot of the ride exactly so here's what I'm pretty sure happens: these dudes go into an elevator and are about to bone...

...but, like, the elevator is stuck, so they just start boning right in the elevator...

...but then the manager opens the door...

...and he's all, I want some'a that...

...so they're gettin' into it, but, like, the dudes can't keep it up...

...and, like, one of the chicks has magic powers and like makes them go away.

So then you go on and they drop you or whatever

Take a minute and just soak in everything that's happening in this picture

So I was loudly explaining the plot of the ride to Adam and they decided they didn't want our business anymore. What gives?

So we went to where we were welcome... A value resort.

And being nerds, we gravitated to the arcade immediately.

And Adam being a weirdo, he gravitated to a Star Wars thing.

I've heard Adam's cherry needs to be taken out as well.

"Shut up."

Fun fact: this is modeled after Adam and I

See?

So this is what it looks like when I don't realize a picture is being taken.

And this is when I make the ladies go wild.

So the reason we're really here is to eat, and what did we eat, you ask?

Yeah, Adam actually ordered that...

THIS is why we're here. The cheesecake here is awesome, it's tie-dye and has red velvet cake instead of the traditional crust.

INSIDE ME, NOW

Unfortunately, Adam thought he was supposed to eat the plastic, and I had to take him to the hospital. Then he died. The end.

 

Thanks for reading! We really mean it! RIP Adam.

Hmm . . . I have a strong sense of deja vu over some of these photos . . . where have I seen them before? Hmm . . .

 

This photo is truly dreadful. I'm glad Adam is dead.

Have there been arrangements made for Adams memorial service, does it involve a midget dressed as a cowboy riding a tricycle?

Have there been arrangements made for Adams memorial service, does it involve a midget dressed as a cowboy riding a tricycle?

Yes, the traditional Jewish funeral. You're familiar with it, I see.

Something isn't kosher about all this.

TR of the funeral?

TR of the funeral?

 

 

You bet your sweet ass they're better be a TR of that. Cowboy midgets on trikes, hot strippers dressed as yeshiva schoolgirls, an all you can eat kosher buffet line, id pay admission for a funeral of that nature..Mazel Tov indeed...

Surprise! Trip report!

We are about to embark on an incredible journey, such as a turtle does, we were told.

Our first stop: Manta

's aquarium!

God tried to hide this mistake in the water. It's not our place to call him out like this.

"Oh... Hello, jew-god... I was just kidding about all of that"

"It was Adam, I swear!"

"It wasn't me!"

"I was with here with the children..."

And then jew-god scrambled my brain up into just a terrible mess

To get my brain back in order, we went to go see the most coherent thing possible: Blue Horizons.

"HEY BRYAN REMEMBER ME FROM YOUR NIGHTMARES?"

Oh god is this really happening?

You look pretty big for a bird!

Ohhhh! It's not a bird, it's just an actress playing a person with brain damage.

During my haze after smitten, I briefly understood the message and/or story behind this. Too bad that's gone.

This is the last bird lady picture and I just realized I could've written some pretty funny bird on a stick stuff. Just imagine that happened. Would've been great, huh?

We left the show early due to not having seats and being bored, and Adam had me do this, and I'm unintentionally making the international symbol for "I'm Shamu"

Then we took the boat out for a spin, or a float.

NOT ANOTHER ONE

I'm beginning to think I'm getting cursed by jew-god

Hi Jake

SO THIRSTY NEED FOUNTAIN

So then Adam took us to go ride the new Star Tours I think

It's amazing how empty the queue was! We almost walked on!

This is called a Wampa. This is also a caption Adam will probably tell me doesn't work because the reference is off.

This is a Tattooine or whatever.

Disney always puts in the nicest little touches into their attractions

Because nothing ever goes wrong in a Disney ride! Lol!

Seems weird that they would put this in a ride that just opened. Must be some sort of reference. I love it!

Super stoked! Glasses free 3d!

The cabins look really different, they went for an "outdated" look, and I love it! Great job, Disney!

Then we got off the ride (we got Hoth this time) and checked out the cool post-show area. Here you see Adam confusing Star Trek for Star Wars! What an idiot!

There were some cool animatronics there

Like Admiral Akbar! By the way, I'm refusing to look up the spelling of any of this nonsense.

Enjoy your nightmares.

Oh no, what is it?!

Must be some sort of mistake.

They almost put "Wild Arctic" on there, which is actually a SeaWorld attraction! It just says "Wild Artic" on it though.

Fun fact: This checkers game is actually in a stalemate, which is why there are skeletons still playing!

It's nice to have fun!

Oh cool! My Indiana Jones decoder will come in use here!

Then Adam went in the Ewok Experience

Aw, he's shy!

Don't feed the Adam. He'll complain about you not serving chicken nuggets.

And then he decided he didn't want to be an Ewok after all

Cool! you can see how your hand prints compare to NBA players' hands!

Wait a second... Disney doesn't serve Pepsi...

OH GOD THAT'S RIGHT! WE WERE IN SEAWORLD!

THIS IS ALL MAKING SO MUCH MORE SENSE TO ME

Oh god, we ARE at SeaWorld!

Oh, hi Erik

We went to see One Ocean after our "incident"

They have this set up so you entertain yourself before the animals feast on human flesh

The person that did this one certainly couldn't have been happy with the results, right?

"Look at how much fun you could be having!"

Then it was time to Swim to the Face

Go Merlin! Get to the face!

The point of Swim to the Face is to start people off easy with the idea of people being fed to animals.

Merlin won and got to eat a face!

Then they do the traditional salute to all nations but mostly America

Finally, the show is starting, and it starts off with a SPLASH! Get it?!

This is an interesting shot: you can see the subtle human silhouette on screen that they use to entice the animals into jumping, thinking they'll get to eat the human (they won't, yet)

Erik is totally ok with this. He's so oddventerous.

Seconds later, this whale reached over and chomped down on her

You can see the blood on its mouth. I can't believe this is happening this day and age.

"I am prepared for this. I have no regrets"

"May jew-god bless you"

This is the symbol for "don't eat me"

Which, of course, we raised proudly

YOU'RE ALL MONSTERS

"You're next."

I was mortified by all of this. But I do love this hip angle!

EXTREEEEEEME

"Hey Erik, you want to make an ironically detached pose for this picture? You do? Great"

"One more, just make this one look like you're visibly frustrated with us. You're doing great"

After the park, Adam and I hit up a food truck festival thing.

Left is Winter Park Fish Co, right is the Crooked Spoon

Left, Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, right is Korean BBQ Taco Box

Drinks and dessert menu for Big Wheel Provisions. They change their menu for each god damn meal somehow.

I got a blueberry soda, which was a lot better than it sounds

Adam and I split sriracha deviled eggs. He got a key lime soda (homemade). It was bad.

Him and Grant (oh, by the way, Grant was there) split bacon and brown sugar fries. They said they were pretty much regular fries.

Treehouse Truck's menu. This place is awesome but it's one of those places that seem to be trying to prove a point by how unhealthy they are.

Example: the Luther burger: 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a bacon cheeseburger in the middle.

Grant ate most of this, somehow. I could never look him in the eyes again.

Winter Park Fish Co menu

She's actually standing on the ground and the guy is right next to her. They built a hole in the truck for her.

I got seared tuna on a stick with a sweet chili glaze. SO GOD DAMN GOOD

Also, there was a band there. We were too busy eating like pigs to pay attention to their name or songs.

Oh, and here's Adam devouring tuna on a stick

Grant got a corn muffin topped with pulled pork from the Red Eye BBQ truck. It's like he was trying to win a "most disgusting food" contest.

Adam got a mango Jarritos and a whoopie pie (homemade?) from Big Wheel Provisions for dessert.

Melissa's Chicken and Waffles menu. I went with the blueberry cheesecake waffle, of course.

I liked it a lot. Oh, and that's the back of Grant's head over there.

Thanks so much for reading, everybody. I know this was a tough one. If you're the one person on TPR that hasn't read Erik and Smisty's thread, do yourself a favor, they're much better than us. http://tinyurl.com/erikandsmisty

 

Now I'll go sink into a food coma

I really enjoyed the photos I was in.

 

But shame on you, Bryan, for all those tasteless killer whale/human flesh jokes. As you well know, being eaten by Shamu is still statistically safer than visiting LAX or riding Rip Ride Rockit.

This was amazing.

 

I never knew vegetarians could be so funny.