First of I want to make it clear I really want to love this park, I think Legoland parks have the ability to be fantastic (as proven by Billund) and they could easily be the jewel in Merlin's crown but it's just not happening with Windsor and it's such a shame.
As someone who has been going to Legoland since I was 6 and someone who has been spoilt by some epic trips thanks to Robb and Elissa it's still hard not to escape for any guests who visit the park that it is just in a sorry sorry state! A prime example of this is The Dragon. Yeah it's not a great coaster everyone knows this but everyone loves the indoor section, well that was the case until you see the state it's in now, only one model works 100%, the dragon looks like he's having a seizure, all the treasure has been removed from the floor so there is some random shiny sheeting on the floor and it's just dirty in there. This all combined with the high pitched death screeching coming from the train as it's struggled around each scene makes it one horrid experience from a ride that is a Legoland stable.
That was only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the issues the park has right now if it's from downright rude staff who I don't think have even been trained well enough in life to wipe their own arse let alone operate rides and interact with guests or the insane (even by Merlin's standards) prices for everything it's just abysmal. When a parks staff is getting shown up by Thorpe Park's staff you should know something is wrong.
I could almost forgive most of this if it wasn't for the fact of the Miniland. The Miniland is something everyone mentions when you talk about Legoland, it's something everyone remembers and usually loves but there is no way people can love it right now. While I will admit the skill level of making something like that is huge and I couldn't do it, it shouldn't be left in the state it's in now. Normally Miniland is a hive of activity, you see loads of models moving, sounds or trains, cars, parties etc everywhere and it really is a fantastic place you could easily spend an hour walking around and really appreciating but right now that is not the case. I saw more broken models than I did working ones, de railed trains, collapsed parts, broken speakers, motors hanging out of models that should move, I mean not even the London Eye was moving. This all coupled with the fact that everything is sun bleached after all these years really shows that they just don't care about it. Can anyone even remember the last time they installed a new model in there?
It really was depressing to walk around looking at it in such a state you could even see the disappointment on kids faces when all the interactive items weren't working. The irony of it all was the sign saying "Our model makers check Miniland every day. If you see any broken models please let a member of staff know". I mean seriously how stupid do you think we are when you have this sign next a load of broken models.
Over all it just a real shame that the park is in such a state as I do really want to love it again but I just can over look all of these massive fails. A park that used to be full of so much colour and activity is now so static, dull, boring and broken.
But anyway enough of my rant about the park here are some photos and many POV's from my trip.
The entrance has seen better days and doesnt seem to handle large volumes of people very well anymore.
Speaking of large volumes of people it was BUSY!
So a Q-Bot was in order!
First stop was breakfast. For a grand total of £5 you can enjoy a bacon roll that is mostly fat and a coke!
After breakfast it was time to start getting some rides in so we headed to a ride I actually enjoy "Atlantis"
Sadly the submarines are showing signs of wear with the interactive buttons no longer lighting up.
Thankfully the fish still work!
Can you belive all the fish are made of lego..............
Honestly while I do enjoy this ride I do think the tanks are way to small.
Who else thinks Neptune was giving guests the finger before his arm fell off?
Where does the secret door lead?
We completed out mission and we found Atlantis!
Check out my POV of Atlantis!
Next we decided to go from the fish world to the dino world.
This ride actually has some of the best kept models on park but not many of them are animated so I feel that helps.
NAKED LEGO MAN ON THE RIGHT!!
Why don’t you try Dino hunting for yourself by watching this POV!
As it was stupidly hot a ride on the newly rethemed Log Flume.
This has included a LOT of new water effects. There has been some new models added to the ride but it seems they are adding fewer models than they are taking away so there are now a lot more blank spaces.
As you can see I got SOAKED!
As it was hot and I dried of really quickly it was time for a SHOOTING DARK RIDE! *laser noises*
They have the ride layout in the queue. Fan boys rejoice!
Many of the queue line videos at Legoland feature Mr Tumble/Justin Fletcher who is very famous in the UK for his work on childrens TV.
"Save me from the spiders web"
"Peek-a-boo I see you"
Thankfully all the arrows missed me
An evil man and his snake! I thought this was a family park!!!
Do you want a Laser Raiders POV? Of course you do!
Now its time for some coaster action which of course means The Dragon!
Im pretty sure this guy is using that knife to burst his ear drums before the almighty death screech from the train does it for him!
The poor wizard looks like he has given up on life.
This is the most depressing part of the ride. I remember when he used to blow smoke out of his nose, his head swung back and forth, the floor was littered with treasure and now he barely moves and you can see half the treasure is gone.
Merlin really need to get their act together with this ride!
The coaster section itself is nothing special.
Please make sure you turn the volume down on your computer before you watching this POV otherwise you will also be deafened by the screeching!
Lego camel toe! Your welcome!
Im still having nightmares about this from Scandi where I nearly had a heart attack.
More parks need these! They are genius and people actually used them.
The day was getting on so it was time to check out the Miniland. With a sign like this you would expect great things but you would be very much mistaken.
This model I can let off being broken and dirty as it then very much does represent London Underground.
Here is a prime example of the state of Miniland, everything sun bleached, the drag race wasn’t working and there was a speaker here that was just playing static sound.
Is that means to be the start of a Lego SCAD Tower on the right?
More buttons that did a whole load of nothing!
This model was one of the few fully functioning impressive models. A moving vehicle would come up to the boat, drive on, stop, then the boat would transport it across the water and it would carry on its journey on the other side!
This is England thrassing India in the cricket again!
This is a model that needs some work, as you can see the pitch is coming up and the roof is starting to fall apart. Its just such a shame to see it in this state.
This model pretty much sums up the state of the Miniland for me.
Now I don’t want to say all the models on park are crap because that’s not true. Fairy Tale Brook was refurbished last year and the models look fantastic so it’s not like they can’t do it.
This pig is basically saying "Look at me im proof we can be great!"
The whole attraction looks fantastic to the point where it actually feels out of place on park!
Still a better Snow White than Kristen Stewart!
As proof that not all is bad at Legoland Windsor take a trip round Fairy Tale Brook yourself!
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
This is part of the Scavenger Hunt on the Legoland App. I didn’t see a single person even take note of any of these.
Wyldstyle is following me!!
This machine was a way you could buy your kids a Legoland driving license. For a total of £10! You would get a credit card sized printed driving license than looks like crap. It was a good thing it was broken really because it prevented people from getting ripped off!
This cost £11.50 and the muffin was horrible...........
As it was time to venture home and being the cripple that I am we decided to take the Hill Train back to the entrance.
I think this is the only thing left in the park from the days when it was Windsor Safari Park but I could be wrong.
As I know there is some train nerds on TPR I got a POV of the Hill Train for you!
Obviously I had to make a quick stop in the shop where I was bombarded with this huge Lego Friends section!
While I didnt stay at the hotel I did think I would take a look at it on my way out.
This Dragon works and breathes smoke out his nose so why cant the other?
I hope he doesn’t do some giant Dragon poop on some unsuspecting guest!
The reception area does look AMAZING and there was huge amounts of Lego for people to play with.
My personal highlight of the hotel was the toilets though because I needed to take a giant pirate poop!
So overall my day ended up with me looking like this poor guy!
So in summary Legoland Windsor really need to get their act together before I consider taking someone there with me. I do hope they sort the stuff out because it is proven by Legoland Billund just how well it can be done.
Hope you enjoyed my rant, the pictures and videos. Feel free to comment.
Great report Craig. It is such a shame to see it in the state that it is in. I visited a lot when I was younger and the park did look amazing back then.
During my visit last year I noticed a lot of broken and fading models. Just bits of basic TLC and they could keep it in tremendous shape.
The refurb of Fairy Tale Brook looks great though. Some nice additions and it looks super colourful. Massive shame about the Dragon as that is Legoland's standout attraction.
Come on Merlin, fix Legoland!
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