Philrad71 does Indiana (a soft porn)

Okay, okay...this really isn't a trip report about soft porn (although some of you may view at as such in the privacy of your own home, I suppose).

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that there's any corn in it either although I'm sure that any of you that have visited (or driven through) this state probably saw a stalk or two during your travels.

This past June, Michael and I made our way to Virginia for his nieces wedding in Leesburg, VA. Rather than hit the parks around that area (which we have visited several times), we decided to take the long way home back to New York...through Indiana!

Although that may sound strange, we were actually driving out that way to eventually meet up with my family for a weekend at Cedar Point to ride Gatekeeper for the first time. I thought that this might be as good a chance as any to take some time to finally hit up two parks that I had really been wanting to visit - Indiana Beach and Holiday World.

We both loved these parks as they were both unlike any we had ever visited before....very quirky and unique, but in totally different ways. Holiday World with their strange layout, awesome water slides and very brutal wooden coasters and Indiana Beach with old school flats over the water, retro attractions - and much better coasters, in my opinion.

I certainly hope that HW can give those woodies a little more TLC in the future as they have enormous potential (and were all highly ranked after their debut), but all three were just too jarring for our over 40 bones to handle. Michael rode Voyage and skipped the other two because it rattled him so bad.

Now let's hop on board for a tour starting in Maryland and ending up in Ohio via Indiana, WV and Kentucky...

Let's get this trip report going in the right direction with....FOOD!

Great chicken cordon bleu sandwich despite the fact that it looks totally disgusting!

Here is the outside of the restaurant - Sand Springs in Frostburg, MD. Good place to eat!

Oatlands Plantation in Leesburg, VA where Michael's niece's wedding was held. Beautiful!

This was without a doubt the best wedding food I have ever had!

Drinking, dining & dancing all under one tent. It might not be Oktoberfest, but we still had a lot of fun!

The plantation at dusk. They opened up some of the rooms and gave free tours for those interested - we graciously accepted. Not a fan of the history behind plantations (for obvious reasons), but I did find this building to be architecturally stimulating.

We stumbled across this place and just HAD to stop. I thought that they just might have had a home-made roller coaster out back or something.

No coaster, but they did have these big, hard ummmm....Gallus gallus domesticus here.

I think this guy could find a home at that South of the Border traveler's oasis down in them Carolina's, no?

Me: "My goodness they sure have some huge cocks at this place!"

I was going to tell that to the clerks inside, but I was a little too embarrassed as they were both in their 70's (blush). I'm sure someone more brazen than I has probably mentioned it to them at some point in time.

Oh boy....moving along now.

Now we are in Kentucky - Louisville as a matter of fact. Kentucky Kingdom wasn't open so we visited this place instead.

Kidding...we really wanted to come here as Michael and I both love history. His goal is to visit all of the presidential burial places. So far he is up to 22!

Heeeeeeere's Zacky!

Current resting place of Zack and Margie. Wait, didn't they make a movie about a porno or something?

Outside the tomb.

To the right is the old tomb, left is the new and in the center his obelisk...quite striking and very well maintained.

Tombs of the unknown soldiers. I think that this is one of the nicest, well maintained cemeteries I have ever visited outside of Arlington.

Overview of the memorial.

Who's ready for a theme park? Anyone ever heard of this place before?

Entrance plaza into the park.

In Indiana, would it be "Quoth the Raven, nevermore" or "KAW, KAW, nevermore"?

That Golden Ticket underneath reminds me of the one they used to have on Mean Streak!

Which do you prefer out of the three attractions shown in this photo?

I'm going with The Wave.

Giant toilet bowl slide - Bukale. Looked fun, but the line was long all day so we skipped it.

We did spend a lot of time in the Lazy River though because it was about 90 trillion degrees that day!

I see you over there Mammoth and Wildebeest...more of you two to come in tomorrow's installment!

Thanks for reading!

Part II...

Mammoth coming into it's "brake run". This has become my new favorite water attraction & I certainly hope to see more of these at other water parks soon!

Getting shot up the hill is definitely an interesting experience to say the least!

Splashin' Safari's other signature attraction - Wildbeest. This would be my first water coaster and it definitely didn't disappoint!

Slides, slides everywhere. You can tell that this park has heavy interests in it's water park with what looks like lot's of room for expansion.

Another look at the two stars of the park as well as the other wave pool. Lines weren't insanely long despite the fact that it was about 90 degrees and felt like over 100.

Voyage and Bukale. At this point we hadn't been in the amusement park side as we decided (and hoped) that it would cool down enough to visit that part of the park later in the day.

Giant funnel and racing mat slides. There is not a lot that this water park doesn't have. I will be interested to see what upcoming attractions planned for the water park side. It was one of the nicer water parks I have ever visited!

These looked fun, but we ended up skipping them, preferring to frolic in the wave pools and lazy river just to keep cool!

It was getting late, so we decided to hit up the amusement park side in order to at least hit up the parks three coasters. At this point, it was still about 90 degrees - blazing hot!

Because of the high heat, the park side was dead. There was hardly a line at all for Voyage, but they were only running one train so despite the fact that the queues were almost empty, we still had to wait a bit to ride.

Nice queue building for Voyage.

My partner couldn't have summed up the ride better when the kid in the gift shop (where the ride dumps you) asked what we thought of Voyage. My partner said that if he had to choose burning in hell or ride Voyage again, he would gladly take burning in hell! The kid laughed and said, "Yeah, it is a bit mean, but they have been working on trying to make it ride a little better." I told him that RMC could work miracles for that coaster and he said that I was not the first person to tell him that. I am sure that park management has also heard this from a few people so let's see if anything comes of it now that the Timberliner idea seems to be scrapped.

Halloween area - another nicely themed area. We normally don't do swings, but at that point we just wanted any type of breeze. So we settled for the blast furnace breeze.

Legend - another rib bruiser. Michael opted out of coaster riding for the rest of the day after the beating he took on Voyage. I rode Raven last and would say that it was the most fun out of the three...especially since it didn't try to rupture my spleen! Still jolting in some spots though.

Christmas is definitely big here in Santa Claus, Indiana!

4th of July area was nice. I really loved the themed areas and hope that they put some more rides in (as well as fix the coasters).

On the way to our hotel, we happened upon this place for dinner. Being from Western NY, we HAD to stop and try their wings!

These were the smoky BBQ. Sweet with a tangy kick. Could have used some carrot sticks to go with the paltry serving of bleu cheese and celery.

These were the hot. Nice and crispy with just the right amount of heat. I washed that down with two Fat Tire tall beers....ahhhh, life is good!

Part III coming soon...thanks for reading. Comments are always nice too!

Of note, I was having some issues with the multiple file uploader this morning as well as getting some strange errors when trying to preview the report. Robb, just thought you might want to know. Not sure if anyone else is having any issues posting trip reports recently?

Luckily, I didn't lose the report as I back-paged and then refreshed, but did have to reload some images and comments - no big deal.

This error came up twice during editing and previewing.

Awesome TR so far, Phil. Looking forward to seeing the rest of your trip!

Nice TR! I really need to get back to Holiday World, haven't been since 2010 when I found the coasters similarly rough as you did, which is a bit of a shame...

^ I was definitely a bit apprehensive about Voyage after reading on here how rough it had gotten over the years, but was a little surprised that Legend and Raven were also pretty shaky despite some decent reviews.

Although one rule of thumb I usually do when I hear about rough wooden coasters is make the wait for the front where it usually isn't as bad. I failed to do that this time because the heat was so ridiculous, we just didn't want to wait three or four train cycles on Voyage for the front seat. I tried riding as far to the front as I could on the other two, but it didn't really help.

That still doesn't change my feelings about how awesome the park was though...despite the coasters, we both loved the theming of the park and we would definitely go back for the water park alone!

Nice pics. Looking forward to seeing the rest of them.

You pretty much described the majority of people's feelings in a nutshell about Holiday World. I am also sure that management is well aware of RMC, but who knows what will happen? Looking forward to more updates!

Glad I'm not the only one that appreciates Mammoth more than Wildebeest. Wildebeest is my least favorite water coaster, but Mammoth is right there at the top. Love the six person rafts and the enormity of the ride!

Amazing TR! The park looks very beautiful.

Glad I'm not the only one that appreciates Mammoth more than Wildebeest. Wildebeest is my least favorite water coaster, but Mammoth is right there at the top. Love the six person rafts and the enormity of the ride!

Count me in the likes Mammoth more than Wildebeest club. Wildebeest feels more like a coaster on water but I think Mammoth is much more fun and the six person rafts are great too.

Glad I'm not the only one that appreciates Mammoth more than Wildebeest. Wildebeest is my least favorite water coaster, but Mammoth is right there at the top. Love the six person rafts and the enormity of the ride!

Count me in the likes Mammoth more than Wildebeest club. Wildebeest feels more like a coaster on water but I think Mammoth is much more fun and the six person rafts are great too.

If you have the chance to get up to the Dells, Black Anaconda at Noah's Ark is an amazing water coaster! It's the old style that uses conveyor belts instead of magnets. The belts give a sudden jolt when the tube comes in contact that makes the ride a lot more fun.

What, no rings?

Thanks for the comments, guys!

And Bill, I will have to remember the rings next time and make sure they get squeezed into the next trip report!

This next section will be from our journey from Holiday World to Indiana Beach for more culture and food. I promise that IB won't be too far behind though!

Hope everyone at TPR has a safe and Happy New Year!

Coming into Indianapolis...oh yeah, I think I've heard of this team. I think they won something big a few years ago, right?

I always thought that it would be cool if Indiana had a sports team called the 'Hoosier Daddies"

This the house that Peyton built!

A unique building to house a pro football stadium. If I wouldn't have seen the sign, I would have never believed that this was Lucas Oil Stadium.

But if that's what the sign says, you gotta believe it. Looks more like a revamped textile mill than an old fashioned football stadium, but I digress. Moving along...

Another presidential grave credit...yay!

Compared to Zack, Benny Harrison's was not quite as extravagant or grand.

He was remembered most for economic legislation, including well-known smash hits like 'The McKinley Tariff' and 'The Sherman Anti-Trust Act'. At least that's what Wikipedia told me.

# 23 president is right here in the heart of Indiana...just one more reason to visit the state.

Quite dinky compared with Taylor's and some of the other burial sites we have visited. Guess he just wasn't as popular as some of the other presidents. Well, he was a Republican after all.

No boos or hissing allowed from the right, please!

We saw this place on a billboard and had to make a detour for lunch. The XXX diner in West Lafayette, IN...maybe there will be some porn after all!

But alas....Triple XXX is only famous for their root beer and peanut butter burgers and not anything adult related .

This "guy" even made an appearance once. I know some peeps from TPR that will be VERY impressed with that.

So here we go...this is the 'Duane Purvis All-American'. 1/4 lb ground sirloin with creamy peanut butter on a sesame seed roll with onions, lettuce and pickle (you can have tomato as well, but I don't do tomatoes). It's named after a local football legend that played for Purdue University, which is located not too far from this place.

I see you in there, peanut butter!

It was okay...nothing earth-shattering. Basically a burger with peanut butter on it...nothing more. The root beer was good, but apparently they have a thing about not serving it with ice unless you ask.

Overview of the diner showing all of the celebrities that had visited in previous years.

I assume that this must have been a drive-in type restaurant back in the 50's.

I like the Halloween themed exterior. They could put one of these in the Halloween section at Holiday World!

More photos to come including lots of Indiana Beach!

As always, thanks for reading!

Glad y'all enjoyed that culture and food segment.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

There is, ya know? There really fricking is!

They have hotel rooms with a Hotel Breaker-esque flair. But this little gem only cost us $100 versus the $150+ they charge at Cedar Point. Cha-Ching!

The bonus that you just don't get at Breakers - 70's style bathrooms with water that smelled like a mixture of gun powder-n-diarrhea. Imagine taking a shower in water from the Thunder Canyon ride at Cedar Point, throw in some raw sewage for good measure & there ya have it.

There are parking areas as well as gorgeous views from our palatial suite showing the back of several random gray buildings.

Eat that Disney!

There's also this cool, quirky little amusement park called Indiana Beach that is about as out in the middle of nowhere as any park I have ever visited. Wait scratch that...Michigan's Adventure tops this one as being the most out of the way park I have ever visited.

If you never had a chance to visit Crystal Beach, this might be your next best option for an amusement park built right at the water's edge. Actually they one-upped Crystal Beach by building most of the rides ON the water! No wonder CB went out of business...how do you compete with this?

The Double Shot on the right is the craziest shot ride I have ever ridden. It was like the tower was about 20 feet shorter than the ride carrier wanted it to be. The 'clunk' at the top had the craziest ejector air I have ever experienced on a tower-type ride.

The ride on the left is one of those 'ride with your clothes on' raft waterslides. I didn't know this up front so they frowned at me when I showed up at the top of the tower in the nude.

My Oakley's also got to experience the extreme ejector air on the Double Shot...they were not impressed. As you can see, I needed to drown my sorrows at this point.

Anyone looking for the real beach at Indiana Beach? It's right here. They have it walled in to keep out the dangerous pike that will rip your limbs off if they get a hold of you with their razor sharp teeth. They're like the piranha of Indiana...at least that's what one of the old crows on the beach told me. KAWW!

Action River is the lazy river ride over the water. And when I say lazy, picture a 550 pound person riding around Wal-Mart in a scooter picking out groceries with a telescopic hook...that will give you some idea on just how lazy this river truly is. Not sure how "action" got incorporated into the name of the attraction.

The waterslide complex could have actually came from Crystal Beach. It certainly had that 70's charm to it. Not sure what that random platform is down there on the beach. Could be another ride going in there in 2014? I'm going to go with a Mini-Zipper - just for the kiddies.

If you're lucky enough to stay at the on-site resort and buy your tickets there, you get all access to the unique water park that is conveniently located...on water.

Wait...is that guy taking a nap on the Tilt-A-Whirl?

You can tell that the park was not very crowded today. What the heck is wrong with people when they don't want to ride flat rides that go out over the water for Pete's sake? And does anyone know who Pete is and why he always gets forsaken? I always thought it was supposed to be God or Jesus or something.

Coolest Paratrooper ride EVAR! We got ERT on it because the ride op was cool enough to be tweeting, texting, twerking, selfie-ing or some damned thing on his smart phone so he forgot that we were on the ride. Score!

They have a few coasters here that seriously run better than the one's at their cousins park just a smidge shy of one million rows of corn to the South. What were those coaster's names again?

Is that the top of YOLOcoaster's queue down there that I see? YOLO!

I would seriously like to know the person that designed and built this coaster as he probably had some pretty good sh%t. Errr...I mean, he probably is a very smart and intelligent ride designer. Hey, check that out ahead! It's the world's smallest Splash Battle that travels through an open-ended submarine! Too bad we missed the credit as it was closed. Perhaps I dunno...maybe they could try filling it with water or something?

Seriously messed up coaster...like totally AWESOME, dude! Wait, why am I talking like I'm back it's the 80's? Because this park is like a flashback to my wild and wooly youth, that's why!

This mine coaster craps all over anything that Vekoma or Arrow ever dreamed of building....simply no need to think about starting a thread to discuss which are better when you have this oddball creation to marvel over. Oh wait...

If you have never ridden this coaster, get an atlas, a full tank of gas and hit them cornfields, people! If you don't, the crows will most certainly come for you and your young & peck all of your eyes out! KAWWWW!

Much, much more to come, folks...thanks for using your eyes to view this trip report and also for using your hand to scroll down through the photos. I really appreciate your diligent effort and hard work that you put into viewing my reports, but if you could summon up the fingers for just a couple of key-stroke comments, that would be cool. I know it's hard and that you really tuckered yourself out reading this report but I just know that you have it in you.

Couple......key.......strokes...........................

Great update, Phil! I'm really looking forward to the next one!

I LOVE Indiana Beach. I really hope its ownership problem is sorted out. It'd be a real shame to lose the park. It definitely has a certain charm to it.

I've been to Lucas Oil a few times. It's alright. Nice, but kinda boring looking inside.

As for IN Beach, I used to love that park! Seems like shit has gotten out of hand with how downhill it's gone. My first visit, the place had the charm of a Herschend park, and the rides to compete with one. Now it's seems like the ghetto has taken over.

Can't wait to see how much Duck Dynasty merchandise they sell through out the park in your next update, lol

I love the references to Crystal Beach which, sadly I only got to visit once. You are so right in saying nothing beats a coaster on the waters edge. Enjoyed your report. Makes me want to check IB out now.

Thanks for the comments, guys!

I also hope that this park can keep it's head above water, but it was very dead when we were there. Even though it was on a Thursday, I anticipated more people to be there, which was quite sad when you consider all of the potential that this park has. Maybe we just hit it on a bad day or something?

Sometimes I wish I would hit the Mega Millions so I could partner up with someone that could take over a retro park like this (or Conneaut Lake), fix it up and operate it to it's former glory - turn it into something just as cool as (or even better than) Knoebels.

^ KickStarter!

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that there's any corn in it either although I'm sure that any of you that have visited (or driven through) this state probably saw a stalk or two during your travels.

 

We both loved these parks as they were both unlike any we had ever visited before....very quirky and unique, but in totally different ways. Holiday World with their strange layout, awesome water slides and very brutal wooden coasters and Indiana Beach with old school flats over the water, retro attractions - and much better coasters, in my opinion.

 

I certainly hope that HW can give those woodies a little more TLC in the future as they have enormous potential (and were all highly ranked after their debut), but all three were just too jarring for our over 40 bones to handle. Michael rode Voyage and skipped the other two because it rattled him so bad.

That drive to IB (regardless if from HW or 4+ hrs coming south) was seriously so bad! I really have no reason to go back there after getting the credits but agree with you on the paratrooper and single shot captions you posted!

I'm still really shocked about your 'very brutal wooden coasters' at HW, since my experience at HW has been the complete opposite: I have had good rides on all three woodies even though Voyage recently is not like it once was and Legend you tend to float towards the front of the train or risk having the 'bucking-bronco cars' in the back. Hoosier Hurricane and Cornball Express were both very 'brutal' to my ribs...must've been there on two rough days for those woodies but they were super hot days (when we hear of great coaster rides) - the only exceptions that I remember were the Jet Star and the El Loco (Tig'rr and Steel Hawg, respectively) which were both a nice surprise but HW took the cake with the water park, free sunscreen and drinks to boot!

I also hope that this park can keep it's head above water, but it was very dead when we were there. Even though it was on a Thursday, I anticipated more people to be there, which was quite sad when you consider all of the potential that this park has. Maybe we just hit it on a bad day or something?

Unfortunately, it seems the environment plays a big factor, perhaps the location as well from my review. It seems IB rides were mostly dirty and every ride op reminded me of SFMM on my two visits...clearly underpaid with no enthusiasm for the most part. Steel Hawg they didn't even say anything to me once I sat down for the first time on it, they just looked to see the OTSRs were in place and just pushed the green button and off I went to perhaps my death since the shoulder pads were still shifting up and down and never locked! The only 'event' they had going when I was there that did not make the place 100% ghetto (as many have mentioned) was some local massive business that had a park buffet meal for all employees and their kids, so kiddy-land was actually thriving and full of laughter. I was there on a Saturday and Sunday, on two occasions over two separate years and different weekends, and it was very dead then as well and most coasters were just about a walk-on except Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain. That ride needs more than a single car on the tracks...it was SO painfully SAD how long I waited in that 90/100 degree sun for such a short coaster.

^That is definitely bizarre about our two different coaster experiences at the two parks.

When we were at HW the day before it was in the 90's and the coasters were running brutal. That night, they had severe storms and even a couple of tornado's touched down near IB from what the lady at the hotel desk told me.

Because of that storm system, the temps cooled down considerably and it was very comfortable walking around IB the next day. Perhaps the excessive heat does have something to do with the way wooden coasters operate?

I also found it odd that most people on here prefer Cornball Express to Hoosier Hurricane. Other than the rough turn-around, I got some really nice pops of air going over the out & back hills on Hoosier! I believe I did two laps...one in front and one in the back and enjoyed them both very much.

Cornball was okay - I don't remember much airtime on it, although I don't remember it kicking my butt either.

I also found it odd that most people on here prefer Cornball Express to Hoosier Hurricane. Other than the rough turn-around, I got some really nice pops of air going over the out & back hills on Hoosier! I believe I did two laps...one in front and one in the back and enjoyed them both very much.

 

Cornball was okay - I don't remember much airtime on it, although I don't remember it kicking my butt either.

I'm glad I'm not the only one!!! I enjoy Cornball Express, but I prefer Hoosier Hurricane, too! Hurricane seemed like it had a lot more airtime to me also. Both were very smooth, but I believe RMC did track work to both of them before the start of the season.

Enjoying your thought's on my Home State, looking forward to more of IB.

Great photos and comments!

I enjoyed the culture and food segment too by the way, XXX Root Beer sounds amazing!! No one has even heard of root beer in New Zealand, and I am having withdrawals.

Have to agree about the consensus on Indiana Beach, it does seem to have become a bit ghetto, which I noticed on my last visit (in 2010). They have some fantastic rides. Double shots are among my favourites - always a fun ride. Hope things pick up for them.

Thanks for sharing!