Photo TR: A quick, random visit to WDW, IOA/USF

Back in June I took a random weekend trip to Orlando to hang out with some family and friends. I've done a bunch of Orlando trip reports in the past, and debated about doing this one since my trip wasn't anything special, and these reports can be time consuming.

 

But then I stopped and thought to myself, "Self, you've got a responsibility to report about HRRRRRRRRR. Don't let the fanboys down. There is important and pertinent information that must be presented!" When I came to my senses, it was obvious that this report had to be done.

 

So while this short vacation getaway was mainly about family, I did not fail to hit up a few parks while I was in town. The sad part in this story is that trusty Canon camera did fail prior to my leaving town. I thought I had nursed it back to a basic operational level, but when we reached our first destination it rolled over and died. Thankfully, Gary let me use his. Crisis averted.

 

In my three and a half days in O-Town I managed to play a round of golf, hit up Old Town, MK/Epcot, and IOA/Uni. If you're keeping score at home, here's some of what you'll see and hear in this report: random Disney stuff, my cute little niece, sturgeon, beer, a crappy cell phone pic (a first in my reports), the best hotel lobby on the planet, horrible parenting, fallacies, and monorails.

 

AND, as the thread title suggests, there will be an exclusive report on HRRRRRRRRRR and a sneak peek at Halloween Horror Nights '09!!! Stay tuned....you don't wanna miss it!

 

 

Let's get started......

These are not.

 

 

 

Up next, a very special look at IOA/Universal, and HHN preview pics!

This is cool.

"Look, sweetie. That's the best ride at WDW. Can you say monorail?"

I got smoked by Gary. They changed the big targets without telling me. Bastards.

We missed Barack by a few days. Oh well. I'm pretty sure he's not going anywhere anytime soon.

This is tradition. Hi, mom. Love ya!

Karen (my brother's best friend's sister) and I caught some of it, but basically this is me trying hard not to laugh at my brother in the front of the log, who was forced to buy a new shirt rather than walk around looking like he just went for a swim.

So did we survive?

POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE this station.

It was hot out. I didn't mind dancing with the devil on this day....otherwise known as the water canons of death.

BTMR time. Hey, even the wild west gets slick every now and then, right?

Maple Leaf Rag!!! Woohoo!!

The band decided to welcome us today.

I never get tired of this entrance.

We're on the monorail, and we're happy.

Yay!

Wait for it.....

Wait for it.

You have to start 'em young.

"Hey Scott, guess where we're going next."

"Listen, you little turd. I don't care how cute you are, you're NOT getting my old school Epcot Center visor!"

This Beverly chugging contest was not photographed very well. Also, Beverly chugging contest is an oxymoron. Whenever Beverly is involved, there is clearly NO winner.

Photoshoppers, all this picture needs is a red (or was it yellow?) grenade in my hand. Overman would be proud!

Hitler had just told us what he thinks of Eric Idle now.

I haven't eaten here in ages. It is now on the list for my next visit.

Integrated Aquaculture!!!

 

"Let's listen to the land we all love,

nature's plan will shine above,

listen to the laaaaaaaand, listen to the land."

"Just make believe, you're a tiny little seed,

a tiny little seed that's reaching up to meet your need.

With the right amount of faith, and the right amount of earth,

you'll grow to see the sunshine on your day of birth."

Sturgeon!

"The seasons come, and the seasons go,

nature knows everything it has to know.

The earth and man, can be good friends,

let's listen so our harvest time will never end."

Okay, calling all Photoshoppers. The stage was set for a monumental photo op. The only problem was that I spent 10 minutes waiting for the golden moment. By the time the next one rolled by, the clouds had covered it.

 

Jesus still loves the monorail though. I'm certain of it.

"Hi, we're in Epcot now. Yay!"

They say it's good luck to rub this bear's nose.

Happiness is lounging here in December with a cup of [insert favorite beverage here] after a long day in the parks.

Seriously, I could travel the world over, and this would still be tops, hands down.

Any hotel lobby that has a stream in it is okay by me.

The transitions in this report are fierce. The next morning we took a stroll through my favorite hotel ever, just because.

"Calina, we're gonna lay down this garbage hand, but I'm just setting him up for a nasty check-raise later on."

 

Look at her eyeing those chips. Smart girl....or maybe she just wanted to play with them?

Afterward we got back to my brother's place and it was time to teach the youngins how to take peoples' money.

Since we arrived fairly early in the day in order to meet up with the gang, the coasters were not running yet. I missed those credits again, but yet, I don't care anymore anyway.

 

We stepped next door to throw down on the go-carts instead.

It got irritable bowel syndrome and crapped us out in Old Town.....where this picture was the last one my camera would ever take.

The trip started with the passengers giving this Allegiant Airlines plane a rectal exam.

Hitler had just told us what he thinks of Eric Idle now.

 

Awesome. Can't wait for more!

Man! This just reminds me how bummed I am that my Disney pass blacks out over the summer, I really love those parks! I have high expectations of your upcoming HRRRRRRRR preview, I'm sure it will be very informative.

I eagerly await your review of HR^3.

Damn you Scott!!!! STOP TOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS!!!! I NEED HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Glad to see that some people are taking the time to teach our youth the important things in the world. Poker and the monorail.

 

Will you also be teaching her how to bet with/against the spread?

The Wilderness Lodge looks gorgeous and is definitely a resort I'm dying to stay at one day. It reminds me a bit of the Animal Kingdom Lodge, which is probably my favorite WDW resort right now.

 

Can't wait to see the rest!

The next day turned out to be quite a treat. The plan was to do IOA in the morning, and Uni in the afternoon/evening. Usually, Shannon and I subscribe to the Dan handbook on water rides. However, since there were a couple small kids with us who like 'em, and the fact that it was about 217 degrees with the heat index, I budged.

 

So en route to the parks we stopped in hell, er, Walmart, and grabbed $1 ponchos for everyone. I also brought sandals that could easily be packed in the baby stroller and changed into when it was time. Preparation is the key to and successful day at the park. This has been a public service announcement brought to you by Captain Preparedness!! Hooray.

 

Moving right along, it's always a blessing to have the hookup for free tickets. What wasn't expected was having *THE* hookup, and rollin' VIP style the whole day! The names of those responsible are protected in this case. I could tell you who gave us this perk, but jobs, lives, and possibly the security of our whole planet is on the line, so I'll refrain. It was Marmaduke.

 

As promised, having access like this granted me the ability to do things no mere mortals could ever hope to. And since the world seems to turn with every minute detail involving HRRRRRRR, I will do my best to report what I know, and what I have learned.

 

There will also be a small preview of HHN '09. Stay tuned, and enjoy.

Finally, before we left for Universal, we took a spin on Hulk. We flashed our credentials Wayne and Garth style, were lead into a secret debriefing room, thrown in an elevator, traveled through the core of the earth, the doors opened, I snapped a bad shot with my phone, and we walked into the front row.

 

Most of that is true.

 

The last part will be up shortly. I need another drink first.

"Hey kids, daddy and I are gonna go use our crack pipes in the restroom for a while. Go ahead and climb on whatever you want while we're gone. It'll be okay."

This effect works better when it doesn't seem weird that dude is wearing a winter jacket in the dead off Florida summer. Just sayin'.

I love this shirt.

Hi, Rick!

No need to TAKE THE TUNNEL anymore.

It looks safe enough to me. OPEN IT NOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!

BOX!!!!!

Construction....through the trees!!!!!!

Holy shnikies.........CONSTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Take this one! We'll be back with more."

Thus concludes our rapids section of the report.

But one special guest is wetting himself at this point. I'm sure of it.

I really like this rapids ride. Many people do.

Bear with me. There's an important quota to be filled here.

Where it's at....I got one turntable and a VIP pass. Where it's at (synthesizer voice) got one turntable and a VIP pass.

...and cheap ponchos! Ponchos make you feel like a walking condom.

Then it was time for logs with lapbars....

Hi, Lou! (does Lou still read this stuff?)

So I took another picture.

We made it to Toon Lagoon and it started to rain.

Cedar Point is the greatest park in the history of mankind and beyond. That has nothing to do with this picture. I hate Cedar Point, even though I like it.

Millennium Force has the airtime equal to four El Toros, three Diamondbacks, Two Voyages, and one Bid Bad Wolf. Discuss.

I've been told this part of the ride sucks.

That spinning ride thingy accomplishes one thing....it gives you a look at Hulk's backside. Well, the coaster anyway.

Pathetic from a different angle. If you like this thing, seek help.

This is pathetic.

Three of these people currently live in Hawaii. I'm jealous of them. These rides make me sick, so I took the opportunity to do something else with my wait time.

They hide top secret HRRRRRR files in here. Seriously.

Jimmy flew this very plane over me once in West Palm Beach. I wasn't inebriated at that point, so I still remember it.

All ya'all need to read this cuz it's actually entertaining.

Between WalMart, crack pipes, and secret HRRRRRR files, this TR is officially awesome.

The grand finale.

Before we leave, I must tell you about the best perk of the day. Well after the park closed its gates, I was able to take a spin on HRRRRRRRR.

 

 

FACT: The globe in this picture spins faster now because of HRRRRRRR.

 

Side note: Jarvis, kidding.

****SPOILER*****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Universal will turn off the "R" and "V" in this sign. It makes for a clever sight gag, and will end up in cool trip reports from some of your favorite TPR members.

And since the theme deals with stuff "ripped from the silver screen" or something, The Little Mermaid, and the Big Dbag will be there too.

The streets will also be filled with scare actors.

Probably these guys. And they'll be talking about Fast and Furious.

Who's gonna be hanging out here?

It's just out of focus, but there were markings on the ground for another beer stand here.

Either something scary will be here, a drunk chick, or a stand with crappy beer for $20. This is what my sources tell me anyway.

This shot begins our HHN '09 sneak peek.

 

I'm told that a cool show will take place over there.

ET. The wait was not that long.

 

Creepy story: This 40-something married dude (well, he had a ring on anyway) was behind us in line with 3 skanky looking 15ish year olds.

Oh no, it doesn't stop there. He kept "whispering" about how hot they were and suggesting sexual positions to try and get ET to say at the end of the ride.

Aaaaaand, to make matters worse, Gary's friend Bill leans over to me and says, "dude, what's worse is that the middle one keeps checking you out." Okay, I need a shower or a hazmat uniform just from typing that.

And this ride vehicle will take us there.....liek the great space coaster....and gary gnu.

They're excited because the HHN preview pics are up soon.

"I cannot believe you don't shut up"

Am I 8 feet tall, or are these cars smaller than I thought?

Beer.

 

FACT: I came home and started drinking before I did this report. Heavily. Typing good takes a lot of time when you're drunk. Stay in school kids.

Finnegans! This is an Irish pub/restaurant. I'm part Irish. My food was free because of that. Do people who drink non-alcoholic beer start fake fights?

Most of the people who think this movie is cool will be at HHN......trying to be cool.

Well, I see I'm not the only one around here with big white balls.

Hey, the HRRRRRRR thread got its own ride.

I still watch the Simpsons. People tell me it's not as good anymore.

These places are better in real life.

Stuff is happening!!!!!!

Gary: "So where is it?"

Me: "I don't know, but it must be close....I'm getting a hardon."

 

 

That's a line from Top Gun. Top Gun is a movie about planes. We're on a ride about sharks. It made no sense. Sharks don't really arouse me.

Why is the restroom themed this way?

This happens in San Francisco.

We're in San Francisco.

FACT: These are the best passengers the ride will ever have. WHy? Because they can't speak or use a computer.

See? VERY quiet. It's actually testing in this picture. And there's that person again.

FACT: The coaster is so quiet, you can't even see it in the daytime without passengers.

I know this person. I think that makes me cool, but I'll have to check on it.

FACT: HRRRRRR is the solution to the health care crisis, I'm convinced of this.

TRUTH: While standing there watching it test for five minutes or so, I witnessed average everyday parkgoers become transformed by its greatness. There were cheers, hugs, chants, cartwheels, and even tears of joy. It was as if JonBenet had taken the stage once again again at a pedophile convention.

FACT: When HRRRRR runs, Silver Star shrinks down to 229 in height.

FACT: When HRRRRR runs, Silver Star shrinks down to 229 in height.

 

And Magnum sinks another 2".

 

Seriously though, Great TR. Thanks for sharing your adventure.

Great HHN preview! Glad you decided to go through with the trip report because that was highly entertaining!

 

Oh by the way, you always seem to be in the right spot to catch these outrageous shark attacks, how do you do it?

HRRRRR killed Chuck Norris.

I don't think I have ever laughed that hard reading a trip report before.

What's a Pirate's favorite coaster?

 

HRRRRRR!, that and Roar at SFDK oddly enough

Thanks! I needed that!

 

The laughing out loud from your TR, I mean

Wow! That was awesome!

 

Hmmmm, I think I can confirm that that makes you cool hint hint.

Fact: Iced mocha came out through my nose once while reading this report. I now have to deal with sticky keys. Scott owes me a new laptop.

 

On a side note, I'm glad to see the HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR thread has it's own ride. I can sleep much better at night now.

WOW... very much to my surprise and delight, while breezing through this TR you caught a picture of my partner... THAT is AWESOME... Thanks!!!

 

Oh, and you needn't be suspicious of the heavy winter coat... you see, Jonathan is from a region near the equator and finds the balmy Florida heat to be quite chilly in comparison... honest...

^ Am I the only one to see a little Doug Heffernen (King of Queens) resemblance there?

"It was as if JonBenet had taken the stage once again again at a pedophile convention"

 

 

There is now coke all over the screen!

Brilliant Scott!! Absolutely Brilliant!!

 

 

Bonus points for no age jokes!!

 

 

JJ

Hilarious TR! I loved the Beck reference!