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shesaidboom and 307 do the parks that are kinda the mid-west but some are more easterly but I guess a few can be considered mid-west but maybe "central" is a better term for them - PART ONE of EIGHTY SIX

 

Here's the itinerary! Click any underlined text to head to that trip report!

 

Tue May 30: Driving from Vaughan, ON to Gurnee, IL

Wed May 31: Six Flags Great America

Thu Jun 01: Six Flags Great America

Fri Jun 02: Mt. Olympus + Riverview Hole in the Ground

Sat Jun 03: Timber Falls Adventure Park

Sun Jun 04: Driving from Wisconsin Dells to Monticello, IN

Mon Jun 05: Indiana Beach

Tue Jun 06: 666 @ Holiday World!

Wed Jun 07: Six Six Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom

Thu Jun 08: Paramount King's Island

Fri Jun 09: Kennywood

Sat Jun 10: Idlewild + Lakemont + DelGrosso's

Sun Jun 11: Driving from Altoona, PA to Vaughan, ON

 

Be prepared for:

a] hilarity

b] annoyance

c] more hilarity

d] the best trip report you've ever read

e] possibly also the longest

f] it's totally worth it though so bare with us

g] string

 

[Oh, and for those wondering (which I know is all of you), 307 is doing the trip report part and shesaidboom is doing most of the pictures/captions.]

 

Okay so on May 30 we embarked on a nearly two-week long EPIC coaster riding tour. I say epic because it's a cool word. Despite the fact that we had nothing planned but driving on the first day, we were still up and atom by 5'30"AM.

 

Unfortunately, we were being hunted. Not by a sniper, stalker, wild boar, or a velociraptor disguised as Ted Nugent, no. We were being hunted by Mother Nature. That vile wench had sent clouds full of the evil Jesus Rain to intercept us, the unsuspecting Canadians only looking to have a good time and possibly cause some sort of ruckus.

 

So about half-way there, it began. Rainclouds to the left of me, rainclouds to the right of me. The pelting beads of wet death hammering the windshield and causing us both to throw our hands in the air, screaming into the heavens "WHYYYYYY".

 

But anyway, there really was a lot of rain and it was really annoying. MapQuest predicted the trip would take about nine hours. Eleven and a half hours later, we FINALLY checked in to the Red Carpet Inn in North Chicago. Nikki [aka the loverly shesaidboom] pipes in with a hearty "CHICAGO SUCKS" and I can only nod my head in agreement.

 

This is getting a bit too long winded, so uh let's just say that the first day basically made us question whether or not we should even continue with the trip because obviously Higher Powers had it in for us and would stop at nothing to destroy our hopes and dreams and possibly Nikki's automobile.

 

But alas all the worrying 'twas for naught.

 

On May 31st, we woke up feeling rejuvenated and, more importantly, ready to CREDIT WHORE. I know most of y'all want to see some pictures already, so I'll be quick and painless.

 

SFGAm was pretty empty. There were almost no cars in the lot [as you will see shortly]. It looked as though the Jesus Rain had followed us to the park, however it held up and we managed to have a splendid day. Rather than write a big long review of everything before I post pictures with captions that basically say the same thing, I'll just skip all of this foreplay and give you what you all came to see...

 

HARDCORE NUDITY.

 

Or pictures. Whatev.

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Hi, me five cents! Products are funny.

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This picture is brought to you by the letters A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

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Mmmm, icee.

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Raging Bull was one of the few rides we actually had to wait in line for. Luckily, it was only a 1/2 hour wait with a full queue.

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Our favourite picture of Raging Bull.

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It's Raging Bull's turn around. Seriously, how witty can you be with pictures like this?

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Raging Bull is teh fun. lolz.

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The people in row four suck at coasters.

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Prepare for multiple counts of Raging Bull love.

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We have no caption for this picture.

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Vertical Velocity was running even though everyone told us it would be closed.

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More love for Batman.

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LOBSTER

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ROCK

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The alligator wants to get off the ride. Somebody call Peta!

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This was our first Batman and it kicked ass. It was definately our favourite ride in the park.

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Despite the twin levels this carousel was certainly no Caro-Seuss-el.

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Jer named his pony Princess.

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More Whizzer.

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We were going to make a video, but got bored after 10 minutes of filming.

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Dejavu never opened, but did you really expect it to? :( :( :(

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Though there was no rain, the sky still remained dark. This is the only picture with Iron Wolf in it, so enjoy it.

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Prepare for a flaming Arrow death.

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Here's the Demon sign. BACKWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Raging Bull is fun even if it is braked to high hell.

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Viper makes shesaidboom make gross faces.

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Viper THROUGH THE TREES!!! Since you guys seem to like those.

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Whizzer allowed Jer ample time to get Nikki credits.

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The pretzel loop is the lone redeeming factor of this ride.

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We were told to head to Superman first and we were glad we did, when we came off the second ride of the day the line had already filled the queue.

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SO MANY CARS?!

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This toilet cleaned for your protection!

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Big Ben?

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THE JESUS RAIN

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shesaidboom and 307 do the parks that are kinda the mid-west but some are more easterly but I guess a few can be considered mid-west but maybe "central" is a better term for them - PART TWO of EIGHTY SIX

 

We've already covered Six Flags Great America - and now we're heading north to hook up the Wisconsin Dells for some Hades and Avalanche rides.

 

The drive was pretty generic - oh, except for that tanker truck that exploded in the opposite lanes, causing a traffic back up that lasted ten [yes, 10! more than 9, less than 11] miles. Ten miles! You'll obviously see these pictures a bit later on in the report, when the babbling stops and the visuals begin.

 

Wisconsin Dells is, to be blunt, a tourist trap. But there's something about it that I just found incredibly odd. I guess it was just because it was a tourist trap in the middle of a forest that made it weird. It was basically "WATER PARK WATER PARK COASTER MINI-GOLF WATERPARK MINI-GOLF RIPLEY'S MUSEUM INDOOR WATER PARK HAUNTED HOUSE RIDE THE DUCKS WATER PARK". Lots of water parks. Fortunately for us, we were doing a whole zero of them and were just here to pick up 11 credits.

 

Mt. Olympus' main gate - holy crap, that thing just killed me. It was way too high and steeply banked for any "average" American to make it up without suffering some sort of heart attack or stroke. And the entrances to Hades and Zeus were no better. What a work out I got from this place. The Parthenon "giant indoor theme park" was a joke. You walk in to basically a warehouse, in one corner there's Opa! [with basically no entrance - you just stand in the middle of the floor], and a couple of other randomly placed flats/kiddie rides. I mean, what the hell? There's nothing to do here. If this qualifies as "giant indoor theme park", then the dive known as Riverview would certainly be the equivalent to Cedar Point. Also, the addition of a Disc-O to an otherwise nicely themed park is a really dumb idea. When everything else has something to do with Greek mythology at least in some fashion - why would you plop a Disc-O in the middle of it? It just looks stupid. Otherwise, Mt. Olympus was a very nice park full of western European transfer students attempting to pay for college and expecting tips for everything they do.

 

Timber Falls I found to be incredibly neat, in that you basically pay for your tickets, and then take the appropriate wooden staircase to your destination - rather than having to walk down pathways. Of course, having only three attractions made it possible, but still, I liked.

 

Onto pictures!

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Hades going up the turn-around on the other side of the parking lot.

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Mt.Olympus is full of exclusive shots, as you can see here. Mt.Olympus' Go Karts were highly touted by others but we didn't find them to be particularily great.

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Zeus going under Hades, even though you can't really see it. It's neat.

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Jer is blowing his nose.

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Despite the exclusivity of this shot, it still brings the cool.

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Nikki is win at crooked pictures.

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Cyclops guy is awesome.

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The enormous line we had to wait in for Hades. Even though Hades only has one train, the line was non-existant after noon.

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Despite our credit whoring, neither of us found it necessary to get the Dive to Atlantis credit. Making it the only credit we skipped on the entire trip.

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Another Mt.Olympus death trap lies behind the Hades entrance.

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Nikki is a lift hill fanatic.

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There are three coasters in this photo. Oooooooooh.

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They made us go around the course five times so we took this exclusive picture to celebrate.

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Our car didn't catch properly after our first ride on Opa! so we got a 'bonus' ride, spinning the entire time. I wish all spinning mice did this.

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Ducks like to kill Nikki.

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Pegasus has a neat layout but the coaster leaves something to be desired.

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Most people scream for fun, however Nikki screamed for her life [this is the only coaster to do that, I'm really not a wuss].

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And in this exclusive picture we bring it to you.

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There's a very good reason they have this sign here.

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Hades goes weee and so do I.

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Fixed! Hades is full of air and it wastes no time in launching you out of your seat.

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Some woman in line asked us if we went to one of the local high schools. We didn't think we looked that young =\

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Of course every coaster we were looking forward to on this trip had to break down at least once. Hades was our first encounter with this.

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Hades and this picture have something in common: they're both awesome.

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Just beyond these gates is the first Mt.Olympus death trap, the 60 foot drop that you must make on foot at an impossible angle. We're really not that lazy [Jer is].

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Nikki doesn't want me to post this picture, but I'm going to anyways.

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The Black Hawk motel was surprisingly nice. It looks like a crap hole from the outside, but the rooms were excellent for the rates. Fridges and microwaves are always a plus.

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What we saw on our way to the hotel. We had to drive by this whenever we went anywhere. It taunted us, teasing us, saying "RIDE ME" until we finally caved in.

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Ten miles later...

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When Trucks Explode, tonight on Fox.

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Timber Falls time!

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Riding Avalanche at night is a horrible idea, unless you like dropping into a giant swarm of bugs and being pelted in the face with them the entire ride.

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Nikki found Mexicans and many, many spiders up this guys nose.

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Avalanche and the airplane have a lot in common since you spend a lot of time flying on both.

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While this guy screamed for help, we sat there laughing and taking pictures.

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Those kids in the back are getting some sideways airtime.

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Jer wins at mini-golf so I let him wear my glasses.

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We enjoyed playing mini-golf in a tree.

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The scenery/themeing was actually very nice.

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Apparently when the locals have errands to run they drop their kids off at Timber Falls. The ride op told us this happens all the time. I wish my mom did that to me.

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Timber Falls was completely empty. There were four kids who rode Avalanche all day. In fact, we left and came back a few hours later and they were still riding.

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I don't think it's possible for Nikki to take straight pictures of hills.

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There's also a log flume and mini-golf here. We didn't ride the log flume, but it looked amusing.

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Sideways airtime is cool even though nobody is getting it in this picture.

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Avalanche is only about 45 seconds long once you get up the lift, but those 45 seconds are what can be best described as pure insanity.

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Avalanche may be little, but the thrills are BIG. LOLOLOLOLOLZ.

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We didn't have any bowls so Jer ate his cereal in a bucket. Mmmmm, bucket cereal.

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The slums of Wisconsin Dells?

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When visiting Wisconsin Dells, one must not forget to have a swig with Nig. What's that all about?

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We got three crappy credits at this park, which made up for skipping Dive to Atlantis.

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This ride op was nice and offered us free rides on Galaxi because we were just here to go on that.

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First we stopped at Riverview Park. This place is an absolute crap hole. Riverview brings the trailer trash quotient of Wisconsin Dells.

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Wow nice PTR! I liked the Dells when I went up there, it was like one giant theme park with crappy hotels and expencive nothings all over the place! Oh, and has that second turn on Avalanche gotten any better? When I rode it beat the crap out of me, but I still rode it 57 times!

 

Colin C

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^ Dont worry, a lot of good ones go by without sparking conversation, yet some of the most "WTF?" crap get tons or replies. Its a phenomenon that is hard to track

 

Yeah, I've noticed this a lot. I guess part of it is that we really don't know many people on here. Oh well, will still post more TRs

 

 

Wow nice Photo TR! I liked the Dells when I went up there, it was like one giant theme park with crappy hotels and expencive nothings all over the place! Oh, and has that second turn on Avalanche gotten any better? When I rode it beat the crap out of me, but I still rode it 57 times!

 

Thanks Avalanche beat the crap out of us too, but it was still worth riding many, many times anyway. The second turn was pretty painful when we rode, I think that and the last or second to last were the worst. Usually pain makes me not want to ride something over and over, but for some reason I loved every second of it. The sideways airtime was insane.

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Wow nice Photo TR! I liked the Dells when I went up there, it was like one giant theme park with crappy hotels and expencive nothings all over the place! Oh, and has that second turn on Avalanche gotten any better? When I rode it beat the crap out of me, but I still rode it 57 times!

 

Colin C

There was another turn that really beat me up, too. Maybe it was the third turn? I don't remember, but I braced myself every time we went around it. It didn't help, but you know.

 

Also, our hotel was just off the "souvenir store boulevard" portion of the Dells, and it cost about $55 per night, which I figured was a great rate - especially with the nice room we ended up with!

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Yeah, I stayed at the Holiday Inn and it was like sleeping in an ash tray, even in a non smoking room! I'd go back in a second though, I really liked it up there, but thats not going to happen for a few more years, oh well. Did you by any chance stop at Little A-Merikk-A for some good ol credit whoreing?

 

Colin C

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If you do go back, the Black Hawk Motel was a good deal..like we mentioned like five times already Did you notice how every pool outside the motels in the area had weird double water slides shaped like dolphins and whales? Every single one. Maybe I'm the only one who finds this amusing.

 

We were going to hit up Little A-Merrick-A but decided against it at the last minute. We thought it was on one of the routes between parks but it ended up being a while out of the way. Plus, it would've meant another Toboggan credit and one was more than enough

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I was just at Mt. Olympus a few days ago. Did anyone else notice the terribly rough turn after you go by the station (sort of like a flyby- it shakes the entire station when the train goes on it)? There was a crapload of shuffling on that one part of the ride, and the rest was pretty darn smooth.

 

Nice TR... I'll post mine soon.

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^ Dont worry, a lot of good ones go by without sparking conversation, yet some of the most "WTF?" crap get tons or replies. Its a phenomenon that is hard to track

 

Yeah, I've noticed this a lot. I guess part of it is that we really don't know many people on here. Oh well, will still post more TRs

 

 

I agree Joe. I think it's just that phenomenon of some (most?) people being afraid of intelligence. Sadly, a post with quality and substance is avoided like the plague most times. Anyway, GREAT TR guys. Keep up the good work!

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This TR kicks ass!! I simply cant wait for more, and yea, for a ride that people complain about being down a lot, I didnt see V2 down at all last month

 

- Joe, who's anxiously awaiting more 8)

 

v2 was down earlier in the year because the back car had to be replaced. Apparently, the issue they had has been resolved.

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shesaidboom and 307 do the parks that are kinda the mid-west but some are more easterly but I guess a few can be considered mid-west but maybe "central" is a better term for them - PART THREE of SCHFIFTY FIVE

 

After we finished up at the Wisconsin Dells, we made the journey south again, back through the hell hole known as Chicago and down into Indiana. Specifically, Monticello. Indiana Beach was next on the itinerary, however here are some observations about this specific area of Indiana.

 

a] there was a Curves gym - in a shack!

b] Farm, farm, farm, farm, farm supply shed, farm, house next to a farm, WAL-MART, farm, farm shed, McDonald's. This made no sense. But everyone seemed to worship the Wal-Mart like some sort of retail store God. It was very weird.

c] Downtown consisted of a movie theatre which only plays movies at night, a drive-in theatre, an Arby's, Subway, and a couple of local shops that were closed on Sundays.

d] From the outside, most of the hotels in the area looked really crappy. I'd say three of the four looked poopy.

e] Ours was probably the worst.

 

I could go on and on about how dumpy our hotel was. If you're ever there, avoid the Pine View Resort/Lodge. It's a hole! The door didn't even close all the way. There was still about a half-inch gap between the door and the frame once the door was closed. I awoke the following morning with a freshly spun spiderweb ON MY FACE. That was not pleasant.

 

Anyways, Indiana Beach was really nice. If you DO want to come here, don't let the terrible area surrounding it dissuade you. The park is very nice and interesting. It's also unique in that it's built on an inlet and is completely surrounded by water, which is great since the park uses it to it's fullest extent, building numerous rides [including a skycoaster] over the water.

 

Onto pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!

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They refused to give us park maps despite us seeing them in the ticket booths, so this is the best we could do for our souvenir map.

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We tried to get the coasters in the background but clearly we failed.

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Jer wont let me post all the Hurricane pictures :(

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Jer didn't realize that this coaster was built over the water until we actually rode it.

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Almost three trains!

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Jer is a tourist.

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My camera likes to turn pictures blue.

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This has been done, but it's still funny dammit.

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OMG PHOTO!

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Jer likes this picture because it was the 307th picture we took on the trip.

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Here's a picture of what the train looked like for several minutes between dispatches. The ops would sit and talk while waiting for the trains to fill up. LAME.

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Those people in the back are getting hair time.

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Tigrrrgkadhgka COaster broke my arm. Despite the lack of restraints, this Tigrr was not a wonderful thing.

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As we walked by Jer pointed and yelled 'FLYING BOOBS!' I will teach him how to read one of these days.

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Camwhoring on the Paratrooper. All the pictures of us look the same since we had nobody to take them for us.

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Chair swings of death. These things are terrifying, they rock you back and forth and make it seem like you're going to fall into the water. Jer laughed at me :(

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WE FINALLY FOUND A TRAIN!!

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n out o no rie.

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Indiana Beach's new for 2006 ride was fully operational when we got there. WOW, LOBSTER TRAPS!

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Exclusive shot of Lost Coaster. Unfortunately it was impossible to get a train in a picture because of the super slow dispatching. Peacock.

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In this mess of track you can see how Indiana Beach makes use of their limited space.

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Despite rampant praise for this coaster neither of us found it to be anything more than mildly enjoyable. It did involve corn, which upped our opinions slightly.

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Indiana Beach is fun for all ages. Here a boat takes these old fogies out to pasture.

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Pirate guy makes another appearance in this high in da sky shot.

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Pirate guy single handedly persuaded us to ride the Den of Lost Thieves. Nikki proceeded to get the worst score ever.

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OMG TWO TRAINS! Getting one train in a picture was hard enough since dispatching was so slow. Turnover was about five minutes as operators preferred to converse rather than send out trains.

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Lost Coaster promises to be a bone jarring experience, however Nikki came out unscathed. Jer's spine wasn't as lucky. When going backwards do not turn around to see where you're going, your spine will hate you.

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We got some Hurricane on the horizon. We got there an hour early by mistake, which became a recurring theme on the trip.

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To get to the park you have to walk across a giant suspension bridge. It's bouncy, as I demonstrate here!!!

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Bye bye Indiana Beach!

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We really liked Indiana Beach.

 

That's too bad about the dispatching of the trains. It wasn't like that when we were there. The hotel we stayed at was the Best Western right off highway to get into to town (where Wal-Mart is!). That hotel was fine to us.

 

We liked Cornball Express because of the airtime. Our first ride on it, we weren't expecting anything and it took us by surprise. The photo lady was really nice too!

 

I'm surprised they didn't give you a map. The map is on the backpage of their news letter.

 

I also agree with you on the chair swings. They're neat, but the chair in front of me kept coming all the way back and hit me! I actually had to put my hands out to stop it from hitting me.

 

We also rode the Lost Coaster backwards and I agree, don't do it!

 

Chicago traffic sucks!

 

Nice continuing update on the report!

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shesaidboom and 307 do the parks that are kinda the mid-west but some are more easterly but I guess a few can be considered mid-west but maybe "central" is a better term for them - PART FOUR of it's only funny once

 

It was the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year of the new millenium, and we were at the major destination park of the trip - Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana.

 

What could possibly go wrong?

 

Before we begin, I would like to make a list of the things that we had been repeatedly told about this park. These are not things that one person said to us, rather things that we had heard almost unanimously from those who we've talked to or read about who had been to this park.

 

*ahem*

 

a] The park would be empty on a Tuesday in early June.

b] The operations are outstanding, always with great loading times and reliability.

c] Everything is awesome, the employees, the rides, the atmosphere.

d] The Voyage never has long lines except when the park is crowded - which most definately will not be a Tuesday in early June.

e] Raven is one of the best coasters in the world, but Legend is possibly even better.

 

Keep these in mind when reading the rest of this.

 

We arrived at Holiday World at 10AM Eastern. Unfortunately for us, we had crossed a time zone in the process of driving there from Scottsburg, IN, and were an hour early. So after waiting an hour impatiently, we noticed an unexpectedly large amount of people gathering up for the running of the bulls. "Where the hell are all these people coming from?" we both wondered. The people wouldn't stop coming. Soon there was what could generously be described as "a whole freakin' lot of people," and we were starting to worry about the validity of the advice we received.

 

So finally they opened the ropes and the bulls, they did run, and for the first time EVAR~!, we partook in it too. We made it to Voyage after lots of huffing and puffing, only to find out - IT WAS CLOSED. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Nikki almost beheaded the man standing next to her. Fortunately, after about twenty minutes [and a quick spin on the amusing Gobbler Getaway later], it opened and we made a mad dash for the station.

 

This ride is awesome and is my new number one coaster. The end.

 

I'm tired of writing this, and really, does anyone want to read this much? I know I don't. So here's a quick list of piss-offs we encountered during our stay at Holiday World:

 

-- Raven and Legend were both running one train.

-- Legend was closed for the first three hours of the day.

-- After waiting for nearly an hour for our first ride on Raven, it broke down just before we got on. This was sort of a blessing in disguise, however, as we met some TPR posters [the dual identity of imbordisux], and it helped to kill the nearly TWO HOUR delay the ride had. We were fortunate enough to have a ride supervisor apologize profusely to us about the breakdown and tell us that the park is never like this, which did boost our mood somewhat.

-- WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. This really annoyed us, though by early-afternoon, many had vamoosed to the waterpark, leaving half-empty stations on Voyage.

 

I would like to say that despite the annoyances and the absolutely horrible first four hours in the park that we had, the following three were very good [including nine rides on the Voyage], and thus we walked away feeling at least slightly happy about the day. Except about Legend. Man that thing was whack.

 

One more thing: SONIC BREAKFASTS RULE!!!!!!!!!

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We didn't take many pictures at Holiday World. Chalk this up to being super pissed most of the day.

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We did not ride the Liberty Launch even though Jer wanted to. He will never let me forget it. Damn you, Scuba Steve.

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What I want. What I want. Voyage. Doot doot.

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Jer thought these were bidets until he read the 'do not sit on fountains' sign.

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Howler sucked.

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Finally fixed!

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BROKEN! This mechanic nearly came to blows with another mechanic right infront of the eight people who waited in the station during the two hour breakdown.

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This is what we think of Holiday World, although our opinion changed a bit as the day progressed.

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Raven was a really fun. However, it was pretty short and was probably overrated at being called the #5 wooden coaster in the world.

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We saw some love for Canada.

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This is the only picture we took of Legend and it's closed. We did not feel this overrated and over-hyped coaster was worthy of more pictures.

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This was Jer's favorite thing at the park. "Mom, can I have a soft drink?"

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These people enjoyed their ride on the Voyage. And if they didn't, poop on the dolla bill!

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Did I mention how awesome this thing is?

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Every time we hit the brake run it felt as though we had just run a marathon.

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So much for no lines. They even opened up the downstairs queues, which took nearly as long to walk through as the rest of the wait.

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Fixed!

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Look, it's the Voyage and it's broken.

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Look, it's Raven!

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Jer devising a plan to get the entire park done in 43 minutes and 27 seconds.

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The exclusive picture of the water tower.

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Nice jobs guys. Glad to see Holiday World wasn't a total bust for ya. I was also really surprised how short Raven was after my first ride following years of anticipation for it. Nevertheless, I still thought it was great for what is was.

 

Nice pics btw....okay, except for the dive show one....I'll just try to imgaine you were on a moving sidewalk or something. But yeah, I'm in the market for a new camera...just curious what you use?

 

And one more thing: upon further review, I believe the refs in the box may overrule, and ultimately give you the 3 train picture credit.....of course I could be wrong, but is that not a car from "that other coaster"? (sorry, too lazy to look up the name)

 

 

Help me out on that one, Indiana Beach experts.

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