OK, dear readers, better go get yourselves some coffee, tea, or perhaps a few beers. This may take a while.
Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted to visit China--to walk on the Great Wall, tour the Forbidden (well, maybe not-so-forbidden) City, and see Hong Kong.
Then, thanks to TPR, I discovered they also have a fair number of theme parks--yay!
They also have a lot of nice city parks with lots of Sliding Dragons and knock-off Spinning Mouse Coasters. Er . . . yay? (Well, maybe not as loud a "yay.")
I'll just jump into the photos and explain things as I go. There are many, but I promise not to regale you with every tiny kiddie credit in every city park we visited (only the ones that were, at least, sort of interesting for some reason). I don't recall all their names of these little parks, and I have no intention of looking them up.
This was the longest TPR trip I've ever taken (a bit over 20 days), and like all the others, it was great. China is a fascinating palace, and while I wasn't too thrilled with Beijing, I enjoyed Hong Kong and Shanghai. If you want some interesting insights into China, I recommend River Town--a book written by an American who spent some time teaching English at a Chinese college.
Welcome to Crab Island Resort! This is "Washing-Machine Agitator: The Ride." We will encounter it again. I have no idea who dreamed up this ride . . .
. . . or if all installations come with their own apartments.
Ah, my first Golden Horse knockoff SLC! This ride answers the musical question, "What could possibly be worse than a Vekoma SLC?"
Hang in there Hanno! There are a lot of mouse coasters to go yet.
At least they aren't MURDER HORNETS!
Window of the World was a bizarro version of Epcot . . .
. . . with some partial nudity . . .
. . . and a knee-cracking mine train coaster.
Camel sitting was also available.
We made our way to the Great Wall . . . what the hell is that?
A lot of people made their way to the Great Wall, but I enjoyed seeing it in person at last. We rode an alpine coaster down, too.
This is part of the Forbidden City, which looks a lot like the rest of the Forbidden City.
Next up was Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park, which had the single scariest shuttle loop I've ever ridden. This ride tends to fall off the track and onto its upstop wheels in it vertical loop, and the same ride model had left riders stranded upside-down at another Chinese park!
I ain't gettin' near that thing! You hoomans are on your own!"
Looks like the mine train could stand a little mowing.
I was denied this Golden Horse SLC because all the extra padding on the restraints wouldn't allow them to close over my rotund frame. I was OK with that. ;)
Sun Park's entrance had a "I was built for the Olympic Games" vibe to it.
This character is in no way similar to a character in a popular Disney shooting dark ride.
Sun Park also had some haunted walk throughs where the staff can hit you in the butt with a broom. This would not be the last time this happened to me in China.
A big thunderstorm washed the pollution from the air in time for out visit to Happy Valley Beijing. I liked this park, but this non-working S&S coaster would be a recurring theme in China.
Crystal Wing was a very good B&M Flying Coaster with some nice theming. But, for some reason, all Happy Valley parks must have a carny-level Disko.
I love the dude's beard here.
The show with the fake-beard guy led up to this deluge. That seemed to be the whole point of it.
Help! I'm being assaulted!
Welcome to Victory Kingdom--a park where almost nothing was open except this Golden Horse SLC, . . .
. . . this crazy-looking flat ride, and a splash boat in a river of questionable water.
Er, is it supposed to do that? (This isn't Victory Kingdom, as the Wild Mouse is actually running.)
I just like this picture of Elissa. That's why it's here.
Floraland was another Epcot-like park, only with hookers.
This Tagada was a lot of fun--and something you'd never see in the U.S.
This was either a haunt or a sanctuary for cross-eyed werewolves.
What makes Happy Valley Chendu so happy? It has a kick-ass Mega Lite!
I enjoyed this building of ice sculptures, too.
"Agh! I'm wearing shorts, and I forgot snow was cold!"
This isn't Wall-E--it's Wall-T. Totally different.
Occasional heavy downpours were another recurring theme.
I didn't get my photo with a panda on my lap, but I did hang out a bit with them. They're Chinese royalty.
Happy Valley Wuhan's sign looks like something you'd see in Reno in the 1970s. The park was incomplete, as in some coasters, such as the S&S launched ride, weren't ready for prime time.
But it did have Dauling Dragon. . .
. . . and Hidden Anaconda, the first Maurer Sky Loop I'd ever ridden (it was fun).
All Happy Valleys have mine trains, but Wuhan's is the only one themed to NASACR-racing big rigs. More to come.
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