robbalvey Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) TPR is currently in China on another amazing adventure! Follow along with us on our Facebook and Twitter page: http://www.facebook.com/themeparkreview So far, we've done one day of credit whoring through some pretty Chinese parks, and a day of "culture" - below are some trip reports and videos... more to follow! Theme Park Review's China Trip has begun! Here's our plane! We are on our way to China by way of Tokyo! Here's our first Chinese credit! Lol! We are 99% sure someone is living in that house under the coaster! You can see the ride is WELL maintained! Sad panda is sad. Angry peeing baby is angry! We just rode a Chinese knock-off SLC. IT TRIED TO KILL US!!! It may *look* like a Vekoma SLC... But it's not! Next up! This dilapidated mouse coaster at the dilapidated 2008 Olympic Kids Park! This roller coaster has beez in the trap, beez beez in the trap! BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food tastes like Chinese Food in China!!! Beijing World Park with Chinese knock-off #MagicKingdom Castle! I don't know what this 5D movie is, but I guarantee you'll come out of it REALLY f**ked up!!! We're in China and we found a camel! And where there is a camel, there is camel toe!!! "Engrish!" What do you think? Is that tea or urine? Should we drink it? China really seems to have a strange fetish with the penis! BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food tastes like Chinese food in China even at breakfast! Just passed creepy abandoned Chinese knock-off #Disneyland that never got built. Today the role of "Brazilian Tour Guide" in China is Elissa! Obrigado! Theme Park Review at the Great Wall Of China! How does TPR do Great Wall of China? Via Alpine Coaster, of course! "Lift Hill: The Ride" TPR on Lift Hill: The Ride at the Great Wall Of China. Now THIS is how you do the Great Wall! Oh, Scottish Steve... Not again!!! And this is where old alpine coaster cars go to die! Culture credit!!! Squid on a stick, anyone? BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food still tastes like Chinese food in China!!! I totally just fed this bear! "Work continues on the Great Wall Of China..." "That's right! TPR does culture... For about 25 minutes!" "We totally just bought Plants Vs Zombies toys! Who wants one?" "Today's mystery meat... Lemur!" Elissa Alvey - "Tour Guide!" "Just Say Mao!" Winner "Sexiest belly in China" award. Forbidden City... Yup. "We love culture day!!!" Forbidden Planet... Yup. Turtle. This was the BEST thing to happen all day!!! Story time - our guide is explaining stuff at the Forbidden City to our group. We see this random Chinese guy drawing something on a plate. We're all "WTF?" About five minutes later, random Chinese guy presets this plate to Brian... Which honestly is a pretty good drawing. He asks 100 wan ($15), and really, just look at the plate. Look at Brian. How could you say no??? What we want to figure out is... Out of all of us in the group, why did he choose Brian to draw??? Lots of hot Emperor sex happened here. Could Larry's shirt be any more loud and obnoxious? VOTE NOW! Splash Mountain. No caption needed! BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food once again tastes like Chinese food in China! Oh, no! We've been put to work in a silk factory!!! We have to make 230,000 rugs before we are allowed to ride our next roller coaster! Do you know what this is? Answer correctly and you could win a bag-o-crap! Silk is really just worm poop! "Hi, I'm a puppet." "What??? No silk obnoxious orange???" "This is more like it!" Elissa has her own personal silk shopping escort! Yay! Chinese Pizza Hut! BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food tastes like pizza in China!!! Edited June 22, 2020 by robbalvey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopper39 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 That Chinese SLC (or whatever) looks incredibly messed up, wow! I'm almost more excited about random Chinese food reports from this trip than the random Chinese coasters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Clinksalot Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Looks like an epic trip so far. Glad nobody died on crazy spinning coaster or knock-off SLC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evanator Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Splash Mountain. Ha, this looks better than any of the Disney versions! No caption needed! I see a very sad Mario in this plate. I like the roller coasters so far, really a great showcase of China's best. This looks like it's an awesome trip. #Breaking:chinesefoodtastelikechinesefoodeveninchina#chinese#hashtags Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pagemaster_b Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 This was the BEST thing to happen all day!!! Story time - our guide is explaining stuff at the Forbidden City to our group. We see this random Chinese guy drawing something on a plate. We're all "WTF?" About five minutes later, random Chinese guy presets this plate to Brian... Which honestly is a pretty good drawing. He asks 100 wan ($15), and really, just look at the plate. Look at Brian. How could you say no??? What we want to figure out is... Out of all of us in the group, why did he choose Brian to draw??? No caption needed! Wow. That's not what I wanted for my fifteen minutes of fame on TPR. I certainly won't find a better souvenir on this trip than this plate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cckoman Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 China is a very interesting place. That spinning coaster looks like it could topple over at any second, you all are brave! Love reading your trip reports and I can't wait for the next one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernierocker Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 The Chinese Spinning Death Trap is like a pirate ship, disk-o and kiddie coaster all rolled into one! This is going to be such an epic trip report to follow along to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandy524 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Those coasters look scary in the sense that they could fall apart at any time. And it's good to know that Chinese food tastes like Chinese food everywhere! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sspaz1000 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Awesome pictures and videos so far! Looks like an epic trip and it's barely started! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSchwitek Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I'm guessing they just clean the marker off of the plate and start again if they don't sell it. What an amazing, money saving idea!! Hahaha. The trip looks amazing as always. Can't wait to see more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Coleman Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 The slc knockoff looks like something you would build in rollercoaster tycoon and you are just happy it even makes it all the way back to the station. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singemfrc Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Those coasters look scary in the sense that they could fall apart at any time. And it's good to know that Chinese food tastes like Chinese food everywhere!That's what makes chinese coasters so authentic, in the US we ride coasters to get the thrill without the actual risk of death, in China, you get actual risk of death! That SLC ripoff would scare me far more than the most extreme crazy coaster anywhere in this country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alilstronger Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Awesome update so far! Can not wait to see the rest of the pictures from the trip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.J. Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 The slc knockoff looks like something you would build in rollercoaster tycoon and you are just happy it even makes it all the way back to the station. The craziest thing is that those knock-off SLCs like the one at Crab Island keep being built! Shibaolai Amusement Equipment has installed another one of those (terrible transitions and stalling included), which is apparently opening in October. Ironically, while most Chinese amusement companies reverse-engineer rides and make them worse, there's one instance of the Shibaolai SLC layout that actually looks better! It's called Dragon Rider and it's located at Floraland in Chengdu. Check out this photo, courtesy of Vertical Horizons - If I'm not mistaken, one of the parks on the trip is Floraland. The transitions on this coaster look to be a lot smoother than the ones on the Shibaolai coasters, though that sidewinder looks rather crooked. Hopefully it will be a better experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsjim11 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Mmmm..... chinese food looks good! Can't say the same for the coasters LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPDave Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Awesome!! Looks like everyone is having a great time already, I can't wait for more screwed up Chinese adventures. Trip jealousy is setting in!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
printersdevil78 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Awesome TR! Thanks for taking the time to share. Is it just me, or does Larry's big, bright, blank orange T-shirt scream for a Photoshop contest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forces Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Angry peeing baby was cracking me up!! Looks like fun is being had by all...enjoy!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisco Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Trip jealousy is setting in!! Me too! Be sure to do lots of factory tours with this group! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy T. Koepp Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Thank you all for risking life and limb on these steel death traps for our viewing pleasure. Please don't anyone die. That would be bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymonster-rex Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 not ridding a SLC let a lone a ripoff and is that thing a spinning wheel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barge84 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 While Larry's shirt is definitely loud and obnoxious, I'm even more amazed that it still has its sleeves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernierocker Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 ^When it's a choice between Communist Death Prison or sleeves, Larry usually leaves the sleeveless shirts behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jray21 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 The only thing that could make Larry's shirt more obnoxious is a soccer team logo on it like Colin! Awesome report! Love the rides of death and the Chinese food that tastes like Chinese food! So jealous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Yeti Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 These trips look like a ton of fun! I've never ridden an SLC, but that just looks awful. The airtime hill reminded me of something you'd find on a very rough wooden coaster. I would honestly love to ride that spinning coaster. It looks like some there's some good spinning on the ride! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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