You bet your sweet ass they're better be a TR of that. Cowboy midgets on trikes, hot strippers dressed as yeshiva schoolgirls, an all you can eat kosher buffet line, id pay admission for a funeral of that nature..Mazel Tov indeed...
We are about to embark on an incredible journey, such as a turtle does, we were told.
Our first stop: Manta
God tried to hide this mistake in the water. It's not our place to call him out like this.
"Oh... Hello, jew-god... I was just kidding about all of that"
"It was Adam, I swear!"
"It wasn't me!"
"I was with here with the children..."
And then jew-god scrambled my brain up into just a terrible mess
To get my brain back in order, we went to go see the most coherent thing possible: Blue Horizons.
"HEY BRYAN REMEMBER ME FROM YOUR NIGHTMARES?"
Oh god is this really happening?
You look pretty big for a bird!
Ohhhh! It's not a bird, it's just an actress playing a person with brain damage.
During my haze after smitten, I briefly understood the message and/or story behind this. Too bad that's gone.
This is the last bird lady picture and I just realized I could've written some pretty funny bird on a stick stuff. Just imagine that happened. Would've been great, huh?
We left the show early due to not having seats and being bored, and Adam had me do this, and I'm unintentionally making the international symbol for "I'm Shamu"
Then we took the boat out for a spin, or a float.
NOT ANOTHER ONE
I'm beginning to think I'm getting cursed by jew-god
SO THIRSTY NEED FOUNTAIN
So then Adam took us to go ride the new Star Tours I think
It's amazing how empty the queue was! We almost walked on!
This is called a Wampa. This is also a caption Adam will probably tell me doesn't work because the reference is off.
This is a Tattooine or whatever.
Disney always puts in the nicest little touches into their attractions
Because nothing ever goes wrong in a Disney ride! Lol!
Seems weird that they would put this in a ride that just opened. Must be some sort of reference. I love it!
Super stoked! Glasses free 3d!
The cabins look really different, they went for an "outdated" look, and I love it! Great job, Disney!
Then we got off the ride (we got Hoth this time) and checked out the cool post-show area. Here you see Adam confusing Star Trek for Star Wars! What an idiot!
There were some cool animatronics there
Like Admiral Akbar! By the way, I'm refusing to look up the spelling of any of this nonsense.
Enjoy your nightmares.
Oh no, what is it?!
Must be some sort of mistake.
They almost put "Wild Arctic" on there, which is actually a SeaWorld attraction! It just says "Wild Artic" on it though.
Fun fact: This checkers game is actually in a stalemate, which is why there are skeletons still playing!
It's nice to have fun!
Oh cool! My Indiana Jones decoder will come in use here!
Then Adam went in the Ewok Experience
Aw, he's shy!
Don't feed the Adam. He'll complain about you not serving chicken nuggets.
And then he decided he didn't want to be an Ewok after all
Cool! you can see how your hand prints compare to NBA players' hands!
Wait a second... Disney doesn't serve Pepsi...
OH GOD THAT'S RIGHT! WE WERE IN SEAWORLD!
THIS IS ALL MAKING SO MUCH MORE SENSE TO ME
Oh god, we ARE at SeaWorld!
Oh, hi Erik
We went to see One Ocean after our "incident"
They have this set up so you entertain yourself before the animals feast on human flesh
The person that did this one certainly couldn't have been happy with the results, right?
"Look at how much fun you could be having!"
Then it was time to Swim to the Face
Go Merlin! Get to the face!
The point of Swim to the Face is to start people off easy with the idea of people being fed to animals.
Merlin won and got to eat a face!
Then they do the traditional salute to all nations but mostly America
Finally, the show is starting, and it starts off with a SPLASH! Get it?!
This is an interesting shot: you can see the subtle human silhouette on screen that they use to entice the animals into jumping, thinking they'll get to eat the human (they won't, yet)
Erik is totally ok with this. He's so oddventerous.
Seconds later, this whale reached over and chomped down on her
You can see the blood on its mouth. I can't believe this is happening this day and age.
"I am prepared for this. I have no regrets"
"May jew-god bless you"
This is the symbol for "don't eat me"
Which, of course, we raised proudly
YOU'RE ALL MONSTERS
I was mortified by all of this. But I do love this hip angle!
"Hey Erik, you want to make an ironically detached pose for this picture? You do? Great"
"One more, just make this one look like you're visibly frustrated with us. You're doing great"
After the park, Adam and I hit up a food truck festival thing.
Left is Winter Park Fish Co, right is the Crooked Spoon
Left, Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, right is Korean BBQ Taco Box
Drinks and dessert menu for Big Wheel Provisions. They change their menu for each god damn meal somehow.
I got a blueberry soda, which was a lot better than it sounds
Adam and I split sriracha deviled eggs. He got a key lime soda (homemade). It was bad.
Him and Grant (oh, by the way, Grant was there) split bacon and brown sugar fries. They said they were pretty much regular fries.
Treehouse Truck's menu. This place is awesome but it's one of those places that seem to be trying to prove a point by how unhealthy they are.
Example: the Luther burger: 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a bacon cheeseburger in the middle.
Grant ate most of this, somehow. I could never look him in the eyes again.
Winter Park Fish Co menu
She's actually standing on the ground and the guy is right next to her. They built a hole in the truck for her.
I got seared tuna on a stick with a sweet chili glaze. SO GOD DAMN GOOD
Also, there was a band there. We were too busy eating like pigs to pay attention to their name or songs.
Oh, and here's Adam devouring tuna on a stick
Grant got a corn muffin topped with pulled pork from the Red Eye BBQ truck. It's like he was trying to win a "most disgusting food" contest.
Adam got a mango Jarritos and a whoopie pie (homemade?) from Big Wheel Provisions for dessert.
Melissa's Chicken and Waffles menu. I went with the blueberry cheesecake waffle, of course.
I liked it a lot. Oh, and that's the back of Grant's head over there.
Thanks so much for reading, everybody. I know this was a tough one. If you're the one person on TPR that hasn't read Erik and Smisty's thread, do yourself a favor, they're much better than us. http://tinyurl.com/erikandsmisty
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