Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Electerik » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:27 am

And now for a funky, old-school Florida tourist attraction that we were ready to visit based on its name alone:

Monkey Jungle
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I'm slightly excited. In fact, I was pretty much chanting "Monkey Jungle" in the car all the way from Orlando to Miami.
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How old-school is it? How about it was established in 1933!
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No, I don't know why one of the employees is wearing a Planet Hollywood shirt. But I can tell you that admission is $29.95. (Which, honestly, strikes me as pretty high for what this is.)
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You enter and exit through the gift shop. Note the monkeys who wish they could come in and shop. "Dude, I totally want some of that sweet banana-flavored dental floss!"
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Sweet banana-flavored dental floss.
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Just outside the gift shop is Monkey Jungle's only eatery. Note that they sell both human food and monkey food.
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Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games!
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Smisty quickly realizes that shes on the wrong side of the fence. Note the feeding cup just to the right of her. You put food in it, and the monkeys draw it up to the top.
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"Wait, how do I...? I do what now?"
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"Do not let your children touch the monkeys."
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"That is a total myth, and I am insulted by it."
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These monkeys are in a cage. But I thought we were supposed to be in the cages. Oh, we are still? I'm so confused. How about I just touch the monkeys?
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Look, people who can't read!
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"I will devour your soul." ("Your soul is made of raisins, right?")
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I know you're not going to read all this, but let me just summarize sentence number two for you: THIS IS THE HOLE WHERE WE THROW THE DEAD MONKEYS!
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"But I don't want to get thrown in a hole."
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"The death hole makes me angry!"
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The guy with the radio was funny. Not, wait, not funny, what's that other word? Disturbing. Okay, he was both. He called the orangutan his girlfriend. Which I was almost okay with. But then he started talking about shopping for gifts for her at Victoria's Secret, and I ran away.

I swear I am not making this up.

THEY THROW THE DEAD MONKEYS INTO A HOLE
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This area appears to have once been someplace you could just go in on your own. But now it's closed off when not being used for a presentation.
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Same guy. The gorilla's name is King. He enjoys finger-painting.
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Okay, anti-animal-captivity-folks, you're gonna love this one: King drinks iced tea and his favorite TV show is Ellen.
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That sounds fun. Let's go in there.
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Hmmm, no monkeys. And we're outside now. So...how exactly do they keep the monkeys on the preserve? I mean, there's like an 8-foot chain-link fence around the place, but...they're monkeys. I should have asked an employee. The question haunts me now. Do the neighbors wake up to find monkeys watching them through their bedroom windows? I'm going to assume yes.
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"Were not monkeys, but we'll take some of that sweet monkey food!"
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"Hey Ralph, you wanna pretend we're monkeys so we can get some monkey food? Henry's gonna do it!"
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"I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response, Maurice."
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MONKEY SWIMMING POOL!

(Not to be confused with the Monkey Death Hole.)
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Daredevil butt monkey.
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Not sure how I got out of here without having to give Misty $2.00. Maybe she didn't see these.
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Okay, Misty, are you ready to feed a monkey?
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"Oh yes, oh please, oh please, oh please!"
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Um..."Robert Is Here"?
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I don't see any of that stuff on the park map.
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Photo op! (With the help of my camera's timer and a nearby table.)
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Annnnnnd...back to the gift shop.
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Now here's a unique souvenir.
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I opted for the banana penis shirt instead. (Look for it in an upcoming Oddventure!)
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I'm not sure what this guy's job is, since parking is free. We didn't really ever get very close to him. I'm honestly not even 100% sure that he works there. Maybe he's a protester. Or perhaps he makes sure that you don't drive away with any monkeys on your car.

Wait, it all makes sense now! He keeps the monkeys there. And they know that if they try to escape, he will throw them into the Death Hole!

MONKEY JUNGLE MONKEY JUNGLE MONKEY JUNGLE !!!
Last edited by ernierocker on Mon Feb 07, 2011 10:19 am.
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby SharkTums » Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:26 am

Please tell me you had a coupon!

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby cfc » Sun Feb 06, 2011 2:51 pm

^I would've sold the coupon to someone else.
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby doom1001 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:20 pm

I live like 5-10 minutes north of Monkey Jungle and about 5-10 minutes west of Zoo Miami,I think I went to Monkey Jungle like 20 years ago when I was like 10-11 years old and wasn't impressed so I haven't felt the need to visit since.I am amazed that they're charging $30 to get in there,the Zoo is like half that much and at least close to a full day attraction,how long did it take you to see everything at Monkey Jungle,it couldn't be more than 2-3 hours.Then again I haven't been there in 2 decades maybe it's improved.

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby doom1001 » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:22 pm

Do you have to pay admission to go in the gift shop,the banana penis shirt was interesting.

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby WFChris » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:27 pm

^Combined with your avatar, you seem 'very interested' in the banana penis shirt.

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby krazekiddd » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:35 pm

How have I never heard of this place!
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby DefinitiveDetour » Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:39 pm

I love the, "I will Devour your Soul!"

Nice TR!

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Electerik » Sun Feb 06, 2011 6:30 pm

SharkTums wrote:Please tell me you had a coupon!


We've been able to get into a few of these places for free (or at a greatly discounted rate), thanks to certain connections that I'd rather not go into detail about, lest some flippant negative remark on my part end up depriving someone else of such privileges in the future.

In any case, we did enjoy Monkey Jungle. But yeah, there's no way it's worth $30.00.
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Teacups Make Me Sick » Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:27 pm

Love your trip report (as always).

Wasn't the monkey jungle a drive through zoo....years ago?

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