Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Electerik » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:48 pm

Central Florida's mini golf scene is largely dominated by the Congo River chain. Which would upset me more if they weren't so darned good. Each of their nine locations (and this is only the second to be covered here...so far) shares the same theme, and many of the same props--but each has its own unique layout and holes. And we haven't played a bad one yet.

[Note: I would be remiss if I did not mention that Clearwater Florida is a terrible, terrible place. This mini golf course is nice--but beyond that, I highly recommend avoiding Clearwater at all costs. If you do find yourself there (perhaps because you've done something very, very bad), then by all means seek out Congo River. But, otherwise, just stay away. Because it's awful there. And you'll be sorry.]

Congo River Golf, Clearwater
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Clearwater's installation is a simple, 18-hole affair with gem mining, an arcade, and alligators.
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Mmmm, alligator fishing.
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But we're here for the mini golf!
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Smisty will appear five more times in this update. If you can decipher her shirt, you'll win a prize!
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It's just not mini golf if there's not a cave.
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Congo Rivers are not wheelchair accessible.
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I found the mask!

(Perhaps I should have mentioned that all the Congo Rivers have a scavenger hunt game along each course. My bad.)
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Hey Misty, how's it going?
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This was an interesting hole.
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The Congo River witch doctor was a bit disappointing. All he did was filter water.
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And yes, there is a hole in the boat. Er...I mean....
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Lamest water feature ever. (Actually, it wasn't. It was sort of cool, really. I just didn't have a better caption.)
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Is that a tomb over there?
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AAAHHH!!!
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"For Livingston, the uncle was home." What?
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For the old folks next door, this mini golf place is home.
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Heading towards the end. The club house is just ahead, with gem mining and the arcade on the right.
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Cool water feature on the 18th hole.
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I got a pen.
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Congo River = awesome.

[But remember: Clearwater = bad.]
Last edited by Electerik on Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:40 pm.
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby WildStangAlex » Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:09 pm

So- What's wrong with Clearwater, exactly?

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby dandaman » Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:32 pm

^ Among other things:

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby BarryH » Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:53 pm

So what brought you to Clearwater? I don't know if Clearwater sucks, but their nudie bars sure do! :)

BTW, there's a "Jeff Johnson" credit in Clearwater, the Miner Mike. Yes, it is powered, but might as well credit whore while you're in the area. I barely fitted into it and I couldn't get the seatbelt around my waist.

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Electerik » Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:26 pm

We went to Clearwater with the intent of visiting the Clearwater Marine Aquarium and Gondolier Pizza (a restaurant we had liked a lot up in Sevierville). Driving in, we encountered heavy traffic, fought our way through it, discovered that the police were blocking lanes randomly with no explanation and "directing" traffic, often in opposition to perfectly operational traffic lights. At first we just thought there was an accident or something and that we'd get through it. But after many miles of this insanity, we discovered that there was an Iron Man triathlon-type race occurring on the streets. Of course, by this time, we were stuck in traffic that simply did not move, with no warning going in, and no way to get out of it. Gondolier turned out to be impossible to reach by car, street parking was $1.25 per hour (and we'd neglected to bring a roll of quarters), so walking was out. And the aquarium turned out to be closed the entire day because they were filming a movie there. So we left as quickly as we could (which was not very fast), only to hit construction once we were out of the triathlon zone. And by construction, I mean two perfectly good lanes of a four lane bridge were closed off with no actual construction happening. So, we then spent an hour...driving across a bridge.

I guess I could have researched more. But, then again, the city could have warned cars coming in of what was ahead of them. (Same with the bridge. No warning until you were on it. And nowhere else to go at that point, because it's a bridge.)

Whatever. My fault or theirs, I'm not going back any time soon. Clearwater can die in a fire.
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby BarryH » Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:38 pm

I visited the Clearwater Marine Aquarium about 8-9 years ago. I would label it "just ok." The exhibits were nice, but the building was getting old and the aquarium had a diliplated look. It looks like they moved into a new building from photos I found on Google Images.

If you really want to see a nice aquarium, head into Tampa and go to the Florida Aquarium. It's a little pricey, but a lot better. You get what you pay for. Besides, the nudie bars are much better in Tampa...so I've heard. :)

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby monkeyoverlord71 » Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:32 am

Misty's t-shirt says,
"in-ter-est-ing (Ĭn'trĬ-stĬng)
adj. 1. capable of holding one's
attention. 2. arousing a feeling
of interest. 3. oh God, oh God,
we're all going to die."

I totally want to play mini-golf now...
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby BarryH » Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:44 pm

I guess the prize is an all-expense paid visit to Clearwater, FL?

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby monkeyoverlord71 » Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:31 pm

I hope so. I also hope they have t-shirts there that say "I ♥ Clearwater, FL", that would be SO COOL! :Pr
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Electerik » Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:03 pm

monkeyoverlord71 wrote:Misty's t-shirt says,
"in-ter-est-ing (Ĭn'trĬ-stĬng)
adj. 1. capable of holding one's
attention. 2. arousing a feeling
of interest. 3. oh God, oh God,
we're all going to die."


Cheaty MacCheatsalot!

Nevertheless, you are correct. PM me your address and I'll send you a specially branded Erik & Smisty Bag O' Rubbish That We Don't Want Anymore.*

*Not associated with official TPR "Bags 'O Crap."

/For extra credit, what movie is the phrase on the shirt a reference to?
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