Photo TR: Brent's HHN, Knott's Haunt & Luna Park Sydney Halloween

3/20 Update Pg 2 - KSF 7: Final & Luna Park Syd Pics & POVs
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Postby downunder » Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:30 pm

Knott's Scary Farm Part 4 - Deep Throat: The World Record

The quality of the 6 shows ranged from almost HHN to downright carnie:

Zamora's Sideshow Of The Bizarre: Downright wince inducing like Saw without the killing.

Inferno: Carnie girls in bikinis twirling fire, I only watched a bit of it, M is for Meh.

Chipper Lovell: Some comedy magic thing, I had better things to do.

I'll get to the other 3 shows later...

Maze covered in this update:

Slaughterouse: a bit on the dull side, lots of meat hanging around and the occasional scare but nothing earth moving.
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Ghost Town had atmosphere, not found at Knott's during the day.
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Lethargic SFMM employee moonlighting at Knott's?
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Wolfy was still sitting on the fence about the new Wolfman movie. Though if Benedico Del Toro shows his face at Knotts Wolfy was going to tear it off - it's just what werewolves do.
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Zamora was hardly family fare, unless you are the Manson family.
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Zamora said it well: "If you're thinking it, then I don't need to say it".
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Kitty Karloff would make John Holmes feel like pee wee.
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Dear Lord please Kitty, please stop. No, don't stop.
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OMG - Kitty has talent, Knott classy but highly entertaining.
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The Gauntlet rewarded all those who wear brown underpants.
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Knott's Scary Farm, getting nerdy guys laid for 30 years.
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She was actually quite hot under the mask, literally and figuratively. I don't know how they do it, I put on a Michael Myers mask for 5 minutes and I was sweating.
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Slaughterhouse was more the Mediocre Chainsaw Massacre.
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I don't think the meat here was FDA approved.
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It tastes like chicken my A$$. That's what I reassured myself with at Mrs Knott's Chicken's 3am post Haunt Buffet.

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Postby Wood Dragon 1988 » Tue Dec 22, 2009 8:27 pm

The entertainment at Knotts looks ultra classy for sure. I'm missing out on these good events on the east coast!

Also I'm sure the Knott family will be very pleased with the high quality of family entertainment Cedar Fair has brought to their little farm.

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Postby downunder » Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:41 pm

^Knott's was a real mixed bag in terms of quality, some of the mazes were of the cardboard cutout variety and others were very nice.

Zamora's gig was a straight out freak show, I was surprised to see something like that at Knott's.

Maybe Walter Knott will rise from the dead next Halloween to voice his objections or take an unhealthy interest in Dick Kinzel's brain ("braaaiiins!").

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Postby downunder » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:03 pm

Knott's Scary Farm Part 5 - Kitty's Back and Mo' Mazes

Mazes covered in this update:

Terror of London: my favourite maze at KSF, very atmospheric and great characters roaming through the place, beats hell out of what is usually there - turn Mystery Lodge into a scary walk through.

Doll Factory: another fave maze of mine, it's odd and unnerving with cool sets, and a scary girl doing the robot.

The Asylum: fairly chaotic, some good scares.

Club Blood: some good characters in this vampire night club, very influced by Blade, though some of the animatronics were a bit ordinary.
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Zamora always had this feeling that people weren't paying attention to him.
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The work experience girl was getting nervous.
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Kitty always treated Zamora like a doormat but this is ridiculous.
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Dude: "I'm the lead guitarist of Fear Factory".
Kitty: "Wow, you have bigger tits than me".
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I got to talking coasters with Zamora after the show. Big Vekoma fan, when touring Europe he always tries to squeeze in a Goudurix marathon.
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Zamora always wanted to nail assistant Kitty but she always hammered him first, sexual harrassment mediation carnie style.
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Kitty: "Knock, knock?"
Little kid; "I'm still breast feeding, and I can't find mommy".
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"Oh yeah we think ACErs are scary too".
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Baby forgot to take it's Ritalin.
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The muggers in no-Buena Vista are much classier than Garbage Grove.
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Who let Michael Myers into Knotts?
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That looks like it hurt.
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This girl was more persistent than a time share salesman.
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Victorian era surgery was a bit more adventurous before malpractice suits became commonplace.
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I always wondered what the fat guy from Little Britain was up to these days.
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An ACER even struck out with the mannequins, they came to life and ran away.
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I don't know what an electric chair is doing in an asylum but capital punishment fans were ecstatic.
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"Hey dude, I really suck!"
I ran for my life, more out of homophobia than fear of being bitten on the neck.
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Asylum led straight into Club Blood, which was fun for all those people who really get scared in the mazes.
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Not quite HHN standard - monkeys might not fly out of butts but apparently vampire bats fly out of vaginas (yes I said the "V" word).
Last edited by downunder on Wed Aug 18, 2010 8:42 pm.

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Postby downunder » Fri Jan 15, 2010 4:37 am

Knott's Scart Farm Part 6 - Lust, Bobo and Lameness

Bloodlust: probably Knott's most professional looking show, part comedy, part serious vampire themed musical episodes. Not bad.

Professor Freaks Silly and simple play involving TV Ratings, studio politics, zombies and vampires. Worth it just for the proliferation of corny double entendres.

Mazes in this update:

Bobo's Clown Maze: Offbeat clown themed maze a few good scares but more humorous.

Day Of The Dead: unfortunately not based on the Romero zombie classic. Mexican themed 3D maze, very bright but pretty dead.

Alien Annihilation: worst maze there, a shooting maze but it just made you want to shoot yourself. Think the Disaster Transport queue except even more boring.
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Blonde: “Not this guy again”.
Brunette: “No wait, an Aussie tourist walked in, yeah him instead”.
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Dude: “Why do I always get the redhead?”
Redhead: “Maybe if I close my eyes, he’ll go away”.
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What would you do if I sang out of key?
You’d just keep looking at really hot me
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Far worse than Chucky, little four eyes goes for potty time on people’s heads.
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At this stage I was praying for Wesley Snipes to make an appearance as Blade.
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In a cynical alliance with the nuclear waste disposal industry, unwanted nuclear material was being disposed of in souvineer balloons.
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Dick Kinzel’s policy of one trash can for every two guests provided plenty of cover for scare actors.
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Bobo’s maze seemed focused on bodily emissions, fortunately not including reproductive ones.
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Maintenance must have run out of red nose paint.
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“You die Happy Gilmore!” Adam Sandler was seen running down Beach Blvd with a wet patch in his crotch.
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As if the mazes weren’t traumatizing enough, Ghostrider was doing brisk business – for the Buena Vista Health Services Industry.
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Professor Freak was truly the master of the double entendre, though rather disturbed by the deep voiced Vampirella.
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Only ten more shifts and I can afford breast implants and maybe also buy soap for Professor Freak’s mouth.
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A bit of a contrast. Also I think the scare actors were getting into the Mexican theme of the maze by having a late siesta.
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The maze was called "Day of the Dead" but when I hear that title I want flesh eating zombies and lines like "They're f**king dead and you want to teach them tricks?"
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The dummies were more lively than the scare actors.
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Maybe they can have a district 9 themed alien maze next year - "Prawn Uprising".
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I don't think this 3D masterpiece inspired James Cameron to create avatar.

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Re: Photo TR: Brent's HHN and Knott's Scary Farm Report

Postby downunder » Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:27 pm

Knott's Part 7 - The Final Sordid Chapter

The Hanging show was Knott's answer to Bill and Ted at Universal, by comparison it was about as close as a debate between Rain Man and Good Will Hunting - Universal rules. Though it was still trashy fun.

In summation, Knott's is way behind Universal for quality but is still plenty of fun.
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"Where have you been? You said you'd call, I boiled a bunny rabbit for you".
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All the clowns at Knott's seemed to look drunk or stoned or confused, they were very happy clowns.
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Knott's is the poor man's haunt compared to Universal right down to having to settle for Rob Zombie's obese brother Bob.
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Dumbledore did a big number about being gay backed by the village people. I'm surpised Dumbledore hasn't teached at a private school in Sydney, thank f*** I went public.
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"I know it's your first lesbian kiss but you're going to like it, lots of tongue".
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The Titney Beers trailer pulled up at Knott's for some lip synching awesomeness.
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Blade you're our only hope, no more emo Twilight vampires, please.
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Once the 17 year old realised she had hooked up with a 138 year old who didn't even have a pulse - revulsion ensued and the statutory rape police followed.
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James T Kirk gets all the girls his legion Trekkie followers can't, I guess he's living their wet dream.
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There were two good reasons to enjoy the Hanging show.
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This number was from Ben Dover The Musical, Dumbledore is credited as the choreographer.
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Granny Pants the sequel, time to close the back door.
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The most horrifying thing at Knott's haunt, I'm having the part of my brain that stores that memory removed.
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They all pledged allegiance to Knott's Scary Farm, until they successfully audition for the Bill and Ted show at Universal.
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Silver Bullet ran well in the dark, it was almost exciting.
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Knott's was fun, and I'm a Haunt fanatic now - I'll be back next year.
Last edited by downunder on Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:17 am.

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Re: Photo TR: Brent's HHN and Knott's Scary Farm Report

Postby downunder » Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:11 pm

Luna Park Sydney 31st October, 2009

It's Halloween at Luna Park Sydney, let's see the amazing Halloween spectacular at the number 1 amusement park in Sydney.
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Standing on the most prime piece of real estate in Sydney, this is porno for property developers.
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It's time to do the clown, welcome to the number 1 amusement park in Sydney.
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They have a lot of pass options, the "Get Stupid" pass was available at the bar.
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Barefoot rugby league? As a former professional in the sport, that would be more like the broken foot rugby league.
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I passed on an annual pass, yes it's what you think, payment involves giving oral pleasure to a pot bellied clown. If I had an annual pass and used it regularly, I'd die of boredom.
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The cast members obviously didn't get the memo that it was October 31.
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Cast members were harder to find than salad at an ACE buffet.
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Time for the number 1 coaster in Sydney, the only coaster in Sydney. I'll just close my eyes and pretend I'm on Superman Ride Of Steel (Bizarro never!) - not working. POV's to follow.

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Re: Photo TR: Brent's HHN and Knott's Scary Farm Report

Postby downunder » Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:20 pm

Luna Park Sydney POV's

Wild Mouse day and night & the Tango Train of death, more photos to follow.

Wild Mouse Day



Wild Mouse Night



Tango Train Of Ball Crushing Death


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