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Joe & Liz's 2009 European Adventure


ginzo

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On our last day in the Rhine Valley, we visited the ruins of the Rheinfels Castle in St. Goar. Once the mightiest castle on the Rhine, it was destroyed by the French in 1797. No worries though, the Germans returned the favor, more than once.

 

Even as a ruin, this castle is impressive. All of my photos have fail to indicate just how huge it is. But I'll certainly try.

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One more attempt to convey the immensity of it. See how small Liz looks in comparison. Not bad for 13th Century construction.

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Again, huge.

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Pillory probably added for tourists.

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Again, the sheer size. Really awakens the kid in you as it's very easy to imagine some epic battles here.

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Walkway not original.

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A good hair day.

 

One day posting all these pictures of her like this is going to get me into real trouble.

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Again, just massive.

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Trying to convey the sheer size of it. Rheinfels supposedly withstood a siege from 28,000 French troops.

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Take the tunnel. This place had more tunnels than you could count.

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River again.

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Very nice view of the river from the castle.

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Walking into the ruin.

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European Vault Icee. Only $3.

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This way.

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After we left the Rhine Valley, we traveled down to Mannheim by train and rented a car. We then drove to Holiday Park and rode Expedition GeForce for most of the day. It was great. Unfortunately, I was lazy and did not take any photos of Holiday Park. It was raining and I didn't want to get my camera wet. Note that Holiday Park ran GeForce in the rain, unlike crappy US parks that shut down for a week after a drop of rain.

 

After we left Holiday Park, we drove to Rothenburg ob der Tauber, which is the most well-preserved medieval town in Germany. The whole town looks like something out of an RPG. Take a look:

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A famous schneeball.

 

Inside scoop: They're disgusting.

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View from the ramparts.

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Typical half-timbered buildings in Rothenburg.

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Still walking the ramparts. They're quite extensive.

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Walking the ramparts.

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Steps to the ramparts.

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Fun fact: the Japanese adore everything medieval. Therefore, like half the visitors to Rothenburg are Japanese.

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Very nice, but we stayed in another hotel in the old town.

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One of the many gates to Rothenburg.

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A restaurant called "Hell".

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Another fountain.

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These are schneeballen (snowballs in German), the pastries that Rothenburg is ostensibly famous for.

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One of the many fountains in town. I think this is the main square.

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A view down one of the streets.

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This was our rental car. I really liked it. Very solid feel. Also, driving in Germany is awesome. The roads are great and the drivers are not tailgating jerks. Just stay out of the passing lane on the Autobahn and you'll be fine.

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Regarding Liz in the pics, I had a geotechnical professor in college that said his wife complained that he only brought her on vacations so he could have a scale in pictures. I suspect she may have been right because most of the pictures of rocks and dirt he showed us would have her standing next to them looking like it was a normal vacation picture.

 

So, in order to make the castle look bigger, you should have included her in more pictures. I hope you got at least a few pictures of the two of you together in some of these amazing places.

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The main tourist attraction we visited in Rothenburg was naturally the Medieval Crime Museum. Touted as the best museum of its kind, it's a wonderful collection of medieval torture devices and other random things like strange old laws that illustrate just how crappy living in a medieval city was. As an example, I think one of the laws banned drinking coffee.

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Just another classic Rothenburg street scene. Basically, the whole old town looks like this.

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Another view inside Käthe Wohlfahrt. Very energy-efficient folks.

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Inside the famous Käthe Wohlfahrt Christmas shop.

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Rothenburg's main square. The glockenspiel in the upper right corner does a very elaborate show on the hour.

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Leaving the Medieval Crime Museum.

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What the streets look like in Rothenburg. As you can imagine, driving was a hoot here.

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An iron maiden. It is currently believed that these were not an instrument of death. The spikes found inside iron maidens are believed to be 19th century additions.

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An original drunk tank. We really need to get one of these for TPR tours.

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Another double neck violin. The original marriage counseling.

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Double neck violin, for quarrelsome people.

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Brands. They're not just for frat boys.

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The last shame mask. Great mustache.

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Still another shame mask.

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Shame mask.

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This was hung around the neck to shame someone.

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How to use thumbscrews.

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The pear of anguish. Insert into orifice, then expand by turning.

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This is the chair Elissa makes you sit in if you drop out of a trip.

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The outside of the Medieval Crime Museum.

 

Note how you never see lousy cars in Germany.

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So, in order to make the castle look bigger, you should have included her in more pictures. I hope you got at least a few pictures of the two of you together in some of these amazing places.

 

You got me, Jon. I guess I'll have to wear one of those shame masks. When I run around I tend to forget to stop and take photos with me in them.

 

I'll have to work on that, but hopefully without repeating the fountain scene from National Lampoon's European Vacation.

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  • 2 months later...

So, I've been a lazy bastard about updating this. Sorry!

 

After we left Rothenburg ob der Tauber, the plan was to take the Romantic Road down to Füssen. For those of you who don't know, this is a famous medieval trade route that has a bunch of picturesque German towns, castles, etc. Well, that lasted for about an hour. I got stuck behind several slow-driving senior citizen sightseeing buses and just took the nearest Autobahn instead. Much better! Just let those speed demons in the Audis blow by you and you'll be fine.

 

Anyway, here is Füssen, the Bavarian town primarily known for the castles of Mad King Ludwig II of Bavaria.

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A last view of the very underrated Hohenschwangau castle. I wish I could have showed you the inside. It's homey because it was actually lived in, unlike Neuschwanstein.

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Pipi station.

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Double barfing swan statue credit.

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Liz on the castle terrace.

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Another outside view of Hohenschwangau castle.

 

Tip: If you visit the famous Neuschwanstein because it's the famous castle that inspired Disney, do NOT skip the lesser-known Hohenschwangau castle. You just might think, as I did, that it's the nicer of the two.

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Now the lions are getting in on the bulimia.

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Just some ostentation on the outside of Hohenschwangau.

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Poor bastard.

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Another one of the views that Mad King Ludwig had to suffer through when he lived here. What a rough life.

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So, as per usual, we didn't have enough bribe money to have the guide let us photograph the inside of Hohenschwangau castle. Apparently, it's all under copyright protection. No *%#.

 

But they were kind enough to let us take photos of the views out of the castle windows.

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My assailant and unwilling omnipresent photographic subject.

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But first we're going to visit Hohenschwangau. And who wouldn't want to visit a castle in honor of a bulimic swan?

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Neuschwanstein off in the distance. We'll get there soon.

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More Alpine foothill goodness.

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The scenic valley floor between the two castles. The foothills of the Alps surround us.

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Anyway, there are actually two castles in Füssen: the very famous Neuschwanstein and this castle, the less visited Hohenschwangau.

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The lifeless exoskeleton that was formerly my body was hurled into this same river that Mad King Ludwig found as his own watery grave. The bodies were never recovered.

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

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Attack of the Killer Lizi?

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Wait, what's this?

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Yep, still half-timbered boringland.

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Füssen looks like any other boring town in Germany to me.

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Here Liz is relaxing at our hotel in Füssen. In Europe, she always orders the water without gas. But it's actually the minerals that make her gag, not the carbonation.

 

The moral of the story is that if you don't want to hurl, it's not just the carbonation that will get you.

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After we left Hohenschwangau castle, we took a quick tram ride up a mountain to Mary's Bridge, which is supposed to have the best view of Neuschwanstein.

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Bye for now.

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Just to give you another idea of the local scene: Alps and Japanese tour buses.

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This lame woman ruined this run down the slide by running her brake the whole way down. No worries though. I had 9 other good runs, including one with a wipe out from not braking enough.

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This nice alpine slide is just up the street from the castles.

 

Note to Big Mike and Jeff Johnson: This is not a credit.

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Apparently, this cat pissed all over Neuschwanstein because they bought the wrong kind of kitty litter.

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Another one of the views.

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The view!

 

No, you're not allowed to photograph inside this castle either.

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The very nice gate.

 

For those of you who don't know, this place was built in the late 19th Century and has plumbing and central heat. It's not a medieval castle built for defensive reasons.

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Almost at the castle now. Notice how it looks pre-fab. It looks really nice from a distance though.

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Due to cost cutting measures, all human guides have been replaced with wiener dogs.

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From Mary's Bridge, it's a bit of a hike to Neuschwanstein.

 

I'll avoid the "through the trees" joke as well.

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The view in the other direction from Mary's Bridge.

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A Japanese tour group on Mary's Bridge. It's actually kind of frightening out there when the wind picks up.

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If you fall off Mary's Bridge, this is where you end up.

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Note: This castle is much larger than anything Disney has ever constructed.

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Unless the entire rear face of the castle is covered with ugly scaffolding!

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After we left Füssen, we drove up to Munich and dropped off the rental car. We did a lot in Munich, but I failed to take many pictures. Here are some of the few that I did take.

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Fail.

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Can't even tell this isn't in the ocean when you zoom in like this.

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Doin' it wrong.

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Mad skills.

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Surfin' in downtown Munich.

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Yes, seriously.

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Huh, seriously?

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Pretty nice for being right in the middle of Munich, eh.

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More English Gardens.

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The English Gardens, a park right in the middle of Munich.

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Glockenspiel.

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Marienplatz, the heart of the old town in Munich.

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Scaffolding on the Frauenkirche.

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The Viktualienmarkt, a nice European market that is worth a quick stop.

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View of the city from St. Peter's Church tower.

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^ABBA lover! I think the panthers just made you an honorary member.

 

Yeah, they just paddle in from in front of the wave. There's actually a bridge right there. I think the standing wave is rigged from some kind of net contraption attached to the bridge with ropes under the water. I got the sneaky suspicion that the wave isn't natural.

 

Some of the surfers were actually really good. One guy went on forever and I think he only wiped out to give other people a chance to surf.

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^No, we didn't make it to the stadium, BMW Welt, or BMW factory tour.

 

We only had one full day in Munich and spent about half of it at the Alte Pinakothek (old painting gallery), which was good.

 

A surprise about Munich is that we were able to get really nice food there. Hofbräuhaus had the mediocre fare you'd expect, but other places were really friggen' good.

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I sooo miss Germany...thanks for the pictures! While we did miss the surfers, we were able to get to the English Gardens and have a mas of beer and currywurst.

 

Also sad we couldn't have visited the other castle at Neuschwanstein, but we took a guided bus tour. We did manage to get to King Ludwig's summer home (Linderhof), which was amazing!

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^Unfortunately, I'm done with Germany for now. Two more German-speaking countries to go though. I think you'll like what's coming up.

 

Yeah, the English Gardens were really nice and huge. Unfortunately for us, I don't think any of the beer gardens were open when we went.

 

Bummer about not seeing both castles. The other one is really worthwhile because it's more of a place that people have actually lived in.

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After we left Munich, we took a train through Salzburg, Austria and then transferred down to Hallstatt, a small, very peaceful town in the Salzkammergut lake district in Austria. This is fairly obscure to American tourists, but it is one of the nicer places I've been to. This very beautiful lake town has excellent food and great hiking if you want it.

 

Here are a few notes for Americans traveling in Austria:

 

1) Even though this is in "Sound of Music country", most Austrians have never actually seen the film. It's about a time in their history they'd rather forget.

2) "Edelweiss" is not the Austrian national song. That's again from the film that few people there have seen.

3) Halstatt is apparently a mess of big bus tourism in August. That's probably a bad time to visit if you're looking for peace and quiet, which is what this town is all about.

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Really got my money's worth today with this room with a view of the lake.

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Lovely weather we're having.

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This is what it looked like when we got off the train. You have to take that ferry to get to the actual town from the "train station".

 

Note that the train station isn't really a train station at all, but a sign and a couple of benches in the gravel.

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The weather got much nicer on our second day in Austria.

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Never hiked up high enough to reach the snow, but it was up there the whole time.

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They rent these awesome slow boats.

 

Note the lack of fast boats and jet skis. They're not allowed here.

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Back in our room staring out at the ugly lake again.

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A typical house in Hallstatt, bullied onto the side of the hill.

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Funicular porn.

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The funicular at work.

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Do I hear Julie Andrews somewhere out there?

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The base of the funicular, which takes you up to the salt mine. From there, you can either tour the salt mine, hike down the mountain, or do both.

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Even Toto likes it here.

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It's very quiet here.

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Jeff Johnson's generator.

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Ooh, funicular credit.

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Just point your camera anywhere here and shoot.

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You can understand why this place was a favorite vacation spot of the Kaiser und his lovely wife and strange wife Sissi.

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The town is a little bit bigger than it looks here. Still small.

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Guess I got my money's worth from this room after all.

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Guy, I am coming to wreck your home.

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Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long...

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More from our second day in Austria.

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In case you forgot where we are.

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Enjoying the excellent fish that was caught the same day.

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Another view of town from the lake. Again, it's a bit bigger than it appears, but not by much.

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Happy diners on the lake.

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These people took a little tour around the lake. I preferred to do it myself.

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Steering, poorly. These slow boats are a challenge to control.

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The far end of town as viewed from a boat we rented.

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This swan patrolled the lake like he owned it.

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The mean alpha swan. He spent his day kicking the asses of the other swans.

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The lake sucks me in, again.

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A square in town.

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Wandering the streets of town. From here, it looks very much like Germany.

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Final set of pictures from Hallstatt:

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And the hike is over.

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You can hear the waterfall from town.

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???

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Fires were a problem.

 

The salt mine used a lot of fire because they'd pump the salt down to down to town as brine in pipes. They'd then boil the water off to yield salt.

 

Note: Working in a salt mine was not a good job.

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Waterfall at the bottom of the trail.

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Two paths diverged. OK, it's really one path.

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Mr. Slug.

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Liz used for scale again. This was an entrance that was added to the salt mine in the 19th Century for the Kaiser.

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That water.

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So, we didn't actually know how to get back down into town, but we'll figure it out.

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And this.

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When we got to the top, it looked like this.

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Crossing over.

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Going way up the mountain.

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Getting the funicular credit.

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