Erik & Misty's Smoky Mountain Adventures

Wow on no Christmas Pyramid this year.

Yeah, that surprised me, too. The Christmas Pyramids were just such a staple. They weren't particularly accessible, though. Most guests didn't really seem to get it. I'm not even sure I did.

Definitely want to meet up in Orlando. Still going to be a few months away for me, though.

I really enjoyed your singing on my video. I think it made it better. lol

We're so awesome, Dolly sends us a Christmas card.*

(* Note: This is mostly a lie.)

Merry Christmas! (Or Kwanza, I guess, if you're a Jew.)

Lights... Lights... LIGHTS!! So many lights. I can not imagine how much the electric bill is! Anywho... Great photos! I wish Thunderhead would have been all lit up though.

~Matthew

^ Nah, it's much better in the dark... Trust me, I'm a doctor.

-James "not really a doctor" Dillaman

Dollywood may be closed for the winter, and much of the town shut down--but there are still some attractions open, and no stopping Erik & Smisty!

Rainforest Adventures is located in the Governor’s Crossing area of Sevierville, on Collier Drive.

Misty shows off one of her Rainforest Adventures souvenirs in front of the “side of the building” bird display.

Don’t take my “bad security” joke too seriously; this is a pretty neat little place. Family owned and operated, too. What’s not to like?

Around the side of the building is this pathway that leads to the door seen behind me several photos ago. I guess it’s a tour entrance or something.

This appears to be a theme.

I bought you some candy. It’s wrapped in poop!

More evidence of slack security.

“There’s, like, some kind of tiny leopard in there!”

“Dude, I would seriously not go in there.”

And this is the unlocked door that leads inside.

Anyway, on the other side of the glass are a lizard, a parrot, and a porcupine.

So, there are these bleachers at the end for some kind of show, I guess. But it obviously wasn’t busy enough while we were there to have anything like that.

“Hey...we wanna be cryptic!”

This amazing turtle is cryptic.

“Wait, the river that goes right through town?? Holy hell!”

Tough to read, but the fine print there says they pulled one of those things out of the Little Pigeon River in Sevierville.

It’s like the Louvre of amphibians.

“Yep, this is the life.”

“I’m a rubber snake. Go ahead, touch me. It’s okay.”

“I am a tiny dinosaur!”

So...they have an “omnivorous extremely diet”? What, exactly, does that mean?

A furry little pile of mongooses. Er..."mongeese"?

“Hey, what can we do with these old snake skins?” - “Um...souvenirs?” - “Dude...!”

Snakey snakey snake snake.

Fat snake.

“If somebody wants to name a suspended coaster after me, I’d be okay with it.”

Wait, why was King Cobra a stand-up coaster again? Snakes don’t even have legs. It just doesn’t make any sense.

“Plus, the ladies dig it.”

One great big pile of “no.”

“Dude, the kangaroo is in with the turtles. Get a clue.”

Some kind of weird aviary.

“I’m a kangaroo!”

“We’re geese. We were told we’d be a big hit here. This is SeaWorld, right?”

“Please don’t rape me.”

Oh you are, are you?

“G’day. I’m a dwarf goat and I can stick my head through the fence. Give me some candy.”

There seems to be a special outdoor exhibit going on right now.

Misty liked the chinchillas.

“Dude, I’m a turtle. Put the kangaroo in here or something.”

Rainforest Adventures is made up largely of hallways like this.

Madagascar meets Watchmen.

“Um, dudes? I’m a kangaroo or something. Why did you put me in with the turtles??”

I like the way this is set up. You enter through the short axis of one end of the gift shop, and exit via the long axis.

Not many cars, but it is the off-season. I guess it’s pretty much the same amount of work to take care of the animals whether they’re open or not.

Don’t take my “bad security” joke too seriously; this is a pretty neat little place. Family owned and operated, too. What’s not to like?

As I was looking through the pictures I was saying to myself, this looks like some animal obsessed family that didn't have enough room at home so opened a small attraction.

Robb would love it as they seem to have a plethora of Tortoises! I liked the ones that looked like they were about to murder the Kangaroo!

I absolutely MUST go here!!!

Awesome update, Erik!

Hilarious: "One great big pile of 'no'."

Ugh, that picture made me cringe. But it looks like a cool little place. I, too, like the chinchillas; very cute!

I had one of these as a pet. I believe they're Southern Painted Turtles.

I found a baby one in my back yard, and had it for about five years, then donated it to a local nature preserve. He's still there (ten years later)!

^ I had an Eastern Painted Turtle when I was a kid. Very similar, obviously.

Left him with mom when I moved out. Eventually, she gave him to a lady that ran some kind of turtle house. He's still alive, I believe. Don't let your kids bring home turtles!

^ Unless you like turtle soup...

-James Dillaman

That was the best day. I can't believe we spent so much time there but it was so worth it. I would like to go back to see the chinchillas. And take more awesome photos for you to use.

Literally in the same building as the illustrious Earthquake, Treasure Quest offers 18-holes of all-weather, indoor mini golf--without all that blacklight nonsense.

Us. And John Wayne, I guess.

Dun-da-dun-da, dun-dada…!

The final hole.

Indiana Jones should have faced a giant gorilla with a rope. That would have rocked.

The final approach features a giant round ball.

“Ahoy there, Gilligan! Would you care to sleep with my wife? There’s gold in it for you!”

Outside of the putter problem, it’s really not a bad little course.

“Um...I’m not a skeleton. I’m just old. Hello...?”

I like this crocodile in the green, even if it could be a bit more of an obstacle. Nice idea, though.

Can you explain this diorama? No, you can not.

Magical coin-operated mechanical devices.

The only really bad thing about Treasure Quest is the putters. Even the biggest size was tiny.

Wait...do pirates ride horses?

Basically, the theme is Indiana Jones--without ever actually saying Indiana Jones--with pirates and whatever else they had lying around.

Smisty putts as two Egyptian dudes breakdance-fight behind her.

“I throw an invisible snowball at you!” - “I stab thee with a serpent!”

In the heart of deepest Africa, there lies a cleverly painted support pole.

The first hole is behind the mannequins, the final hole is on the left.

I’m especially fond of the handicap “wheelchair” stencil holding a golf club.

It was a cold, wet day whence we ventured forth, verily.

In all honesty this was not one of my favorite mini golf places but it was alright. It just seemed weird and the theme was lacking. The course was okay but not very challenging. I think the last photo looks more like Paul Hogan than John Wayne but that's just my opinion.

I'm ready for our next adventure.

I haven't braved that course in years. My wife and I played it when it first opened and have been underwhelmed ever since.

Yeah, it's not the best. However, it is indoors (which is nice, right now) and it's not blacklight (which makes it a rarity).

Plus, it plays the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme while you golf. So it scores some points for that.

Plus, it plays the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme while you golf. So it scores some points for that.

I give you points there.

There are a lot of strange things in Sevier County....

Smoky Mountain Knife Works

Thus endeth the GREATEST UPDATE EVER.

Accept no substitute.

This gun is not a toy. It’s just located in “Toyland.” Got it? Good, I’m glad we cleared that up.

These guys apparently play and sing. I hope, about knives. I don’t really know though, because it was broken.

Yes, buy a knife for a soldier. Or, better yet, a gun. (Or pornography.)

I just don’t even know anymore. You figure it out.

“All artifacts must be purchased in this section.” Crap, now I wish I hadn’t come in here. I don’t need all this stuff.

Place needs mini golf.

Knives for pedophiles? Sure, why not?

Oh yes, there are “fantasy” knives, as well.

I’m not sure why I chose to photograph myself with this stuffed bear. It’s almost the least interesting thing in here.

Yes, if weapons, taxidermy, and total batpoop craziness are your thing, you owe it to yourself to visit.

There’s a pretty big sword. We were told by an employee that it’s “real,” whatever that means.

Strangely, this sign is nowhere near any swords. Maybe it’s for sale.

Someone earlier in the thread requested a ninja weapons store update. Will this do?

But this store isn’t just about knives! Anything that can kill or maim someone is welcome here!

But don’t get excited. It’s really just more museum.

There’s also a “customer lounge.”

Upstairs is the National Knife Museum.

The store has many confusing levels. In fact, this store is just confusing, period.

“Bottom floor: Kitchen, Gifts, Sharpening.”

It’s also a museum sort of thing!

It is a store, oh yes. But not just a store!

Yes, it’s the world’s largest knife showplace!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOtpOIPExg4

Awesome update, guys!

Awesome update,guys!

You may have mentioned this before, but did y'all whitewater raft during your trip?

If you go back, do the Ocoee River, NOT the any of the Pigeon Forge rivers.

You may have mentioned this before, but did y'all whitewater raft during your trip?

Well, we're not really on a trip. We live here. But no, we haven't done any of the whitewater rafting. First of all, there's not really any close to the main tourist areas. But, more importantly, Misty isn't particularly interested in doing it, due to a mild water-phobia.

In other news, our timetable for moving to Orlando has changed a bit, and we're now planning on leaving at the beginning of February. Which means we just have two more weeks to do whatever we're gonna do to bring this thread to its exciting conclusion!

 

In other news, our timetable for moving to Orlando has changed a bit, and we're now planning on leaving at the beginning of February. Which means we just have two more weeks to do whatever we're gonna do to bring this thread to its exciting conclusion!

Say it isn't so.

Just contine the thred! Cause Orlando/Central Florida has some of these tacky attractions as well!