Erik & Misty's Smoky Mountain Adventures

Dollywood, Mini Golf, & What Have You
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Postby Electerik » Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:17 pm

Dollywood may be closed for the winter, and much of the town shut down--but there are still some attractions open, and no stopping Erik & Smisty!

Rainforest Adventures is located in the Governor’s Crossing area of Sevierville, on Collier Drive.
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Not many cars, but it is the off-season. I guess it’s pretty much the same amount of work to take care of the animals whether they’re open or not.
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I like the way this is set up. You enter through the short axis of one end of the gift shop, and exit via the long axis.
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“Um, dudes? I’m a kangaroo or something. Why did you put me in with the turtles??”
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Madagascar meets Watchmen.
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Rainforest Adventures is made up largely of hallways like this.
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“Dude, I’m a turtle. Put the kangaroo in here or something.”
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Misty liked the chinchillas.
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There seems to be a special outdoor exhibit going on right now.
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“G’day. I’m a dwarf goat and I can stick my head through the fence. Give me some candy.”
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Oh you are, are you?
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“Please don’t rape me.”
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“We’re geese. We were told we’d be a big hit here. This is SeaWorld, right?”
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“I’m a kangaroo!”
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Some kind of weird aviary.
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“Dude, the kangaroo is in with the turtles. Get a clue.”
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One great big pile of “no.”
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“Plus, the ladies dig it.”
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Wait, why was King Cobra a stand-up coaster again? Snakes don’t even have legs. It just doesn’t make any sense.
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“If somebody wants to name a suspended coaster after me, I’d be okay with it.”
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Fat snake.
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Snakey snakey snake snake.
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“Hey, what can we do with these old snake skins?” - “Um...souvenirs?” - “Dude...!”
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A furry little pile of mongooses. Er..."mongeese"?
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So...they have an “omnivorous extremely diet”? What, exactly, does that mean?
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“I am a tiny dinosaur!”
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“I’m a rubber snake. Go ahead, touch me. It’s okay.”
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“Yep, this is the life.”
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It’s like the Louvre of amphibians.
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Tough to read, but the fine print there says they pulled one of those things out of the Little Pigeon River in Sevierville.
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“Wait, the river that goes right through town?? Holy hell!”
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This amazing turtle is cryptic.
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“Hey...we wanna be cryptic!”
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So, there are these bleachers at the end for some kind of show, I guess. But it obviously wasn’t busy enough while we were there to have anything like that.
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Anyway, on the other side of the glass are a lizard, a parrot, and a porcupine.
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And this is the unlocked door that leads inside.
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“Dude, I would seriously not go in there.”
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“There’s, like, some kind of tiny leopard in there!”
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More evidence of slack security.
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I bought you some candy. It’s wrapped in poop!
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This appears to be a theme.
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Around the side of the building is this pathway that leads to the door seen behind me several photos ago. I guess it’s a tour entrance or something.
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Misty shows off one of her Rainforest Adventures souvenirs in front of the “side of the building” bird display.

Don’t take my “bad security” joke too seriously; this is a pretty neat little place. Family owned and operated, too. What’s not to like?
Erik Allen Elness

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Postby SharkTums » Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:40 pm

Don’t take my “bad security” joke too seriously; this is a pretty neat little place. Family owned and operated, too. What’s not to like?


As I was looking through the pictures I was saying to myself, this looks like some animal obsessed family that didn't have enough room at home so opened a small attraction.

Robb would love it as they seem to have a plethora of Tortoises! I liked the ones that looked like they were about to murder the Kangaroo!

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Postby robbalvey » Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:14 pm

I absolutely MUST go here!!!

I wish they would make Street Fighter Donkey.
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Postby moinab » Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:21 am

Awesome update, Erik! :br

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Postby Brandy524 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:17 pm

Hilarious: "One great big pile of 'no'."

Ugh, that picture made me cringe. But it looks like a cool little place. I, too, like the chinchillas; very cute!

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Postby mcjaco » Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:18 pm

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I had one of these as a pet. I believe they're Southern Painted Turtles.

I found a baby one in my back yard, and had it for about five years, then donated it to a local nature preserve. He's still there (ten years later)!

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Postby Electerik » Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:23 pm

^ I had an Eastern Painted Turtle when I was a kid. Very similar, obviously.

Left him with mom when I moved out. Eventually, she gave him to a lady that ran some kind of turtle house. He's still alive, I believe. Don't let your kids bring home turtles!
Erik Allen Elness

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Postby jamesdillaman » Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:04 pm

^ Unless you like turtle soup... ;-)

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This B&M donkey is so smooth!
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Postby speedmetal » Sat Jan 09, 2010 2:01 pm

That was the best day. I can't believe we spent so much time there but it was so worth it. I would like to go back to see the chinchillas. :b And take more awesome photos for you to use. ;)
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Postby Electerik » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:38 pm

Literally in the same building as the illustrious Earthquake, Treasure Quest offers 18-holes of all-weather, indoor mini golf--without all that blacklight nonsense.
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It was a cold, wet day whence we ventured forth, verily.
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I’m especially fond of the handicap “wheelchair” stencil holding a golf club.
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The first hole is behind the mannequins, the final hole is on the left.
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In the heart of deepest Africa, there lies a cleverly painted support pole.
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Smisty putts as two Egyptian dudes breakdance-fight behind her.

“I throw an invisible snowball at you!” - “I stab thee with a serpent!”
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Basically, the theme is Indiana Jones--without ever actually saying Indiana Jones--with pirates and whatever else they had lying around.
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Wait...do pirates ride horses?
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The only really bad thing about Treasure Quest is the putters. Even the biggest size was tiny.
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Magical coin-operated mechanical devices.
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Can you explain this diorama? No, you can not.
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I like this crocodile in the green, even if it could be a bit more of an obstacle. Nice idea, though.
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“Um...I’m not a skeleton. I’m just old. Hello...?”
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Outside of the putter problem, it’s really not a bad little course.
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“Ahoy there, Gilligan! Would you care to sleep with my wife? There’s gold in it for you!”
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The final approach features a giant round ball.
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Indiana Jones should have faced a giant gorilla with a rope. That would have rocked.
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The final hole.
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Us. And John Wayne, I guess.

Dun-da-dun-da, dun-dada…!
Erik Allen Elness

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