Erik & Misty's Smoky Mountain Adventures

Dollywood, Mini Golf, & What Have You
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Postby Electerik » Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:17 pm

Dollywood may be closed for the winter, and much of the town shut down--but there are still some attractions open, and no stopping Erik & Smisty!

Rainforest Adventures is located in the Governor’s Crossing area of Sevierville, on Collier Drive.
Not many cars, but it is the off-season. I guess it’s pretty much the same amount of work to take care of the animals whether they’re open or not.
I like the way this is set up. You enter through the short axis of one end of the gift shop, and exit via the long axis.
“Um, dudes? I’m a kangaroo or something. Why did you put me in with the turtles??”
Madagascar meets Watchmen.
Rainforest Adventures is made up largely of hallways like this.
“Dude, I’m a turtle. Put the kangaroo in here or something.”
Misty liked the chinchillas.
There seems to be a special outdoor exhibit going on right now.
“G’day. I’m a dwarf goat and I can stick my head through the fence. Give me some candy.”
Oh you are, are you?
“Please don’t rape me.”
“We’re geese. We were told we’d be a big hit here. This is SeaWorld, right?”
“I’m a kangaroo!”
Some kind of weird aviary.
“Dude, the kangaroo is in with the turtles. Get a clue.”
One great big pile of “no.”
“Plus, the ladies dig it.”
Wait, why was King Cobra a stand-up coaster again? Snakes don’t even have legs. It just doesn’t make any sense.
“If somebody wants to name a suspended coaster after me, I’d be okay with it.”
Fat snake.
Snakey snakey snake snake.
“Hey, what can we do with these old snake skins?” - “Um...souvenirs?” - “Dude...!”
A furry little pile of mongooses. Er..."mongeese"?
So...they have an “omnivorous extremely diet”? What, exactly, does that mean?
“I am a tiny dinosaur!”
“I’m a rubber snake. Go ahead, touch me. It’s okay.”
“Yep, this is the life.”
It’s like the Louvre of amphibians.
Tough to read, but the fine print there says they pulled one of those things out of the Little Pigeon River in Sevierville.
“Wait, the river that goes right through town?? Holy hell!”
This amazing turtle is cryptic.
“Hey...we wanna be cryptic!”
So, there are these bleachers at the end for some kind of show, I guess. But it obviously wasn’t busy enough while we were there to have anything like that.
Anyway, on the other side of the glass are a lizard, a parrot, and a porcupine.
And this is the unlocked door that leads inside.
“Dude, I would seriously not go in there.”
“There’s, like, some kind of tiny leopard in there!”
More evidence of slack security.
I bought you some candy. It’s wrapped in poop!
This appears to be a theme.
Around the side of the building is this pathway that leads to the door seen behind me several photos ago. I guess it’s a tour entrance or something.
Misty shows off one of her Rainforest Adventures souvenirs in front of the “side of the building” bird display.

Don’t take my “bad security” joke too seriously; this is a pretty neat little place. Family owned and operated, too. What’s not to like?
Erik Allen Elness


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Postby SharkTums » Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:40 pm

Don’t take my “bad security” joke too seriously; this is a pretty neat little place. Family owned and operated, too. What’s not to like?

As I was looking through the pictures I was saying to myself, this looks like some animal obsessed family that didn't have enough room at home so opened a small attraction.

Robb would love it as they seem to have a plethora of Tortoises! I liked the ones that looked like they were about to murder the Kangaroo!

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Postby robbalvey » Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:14 pm

I absolutely MUST go here!!!

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Postby moinab » Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:21 am

Awesome update, Erik! :br

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Postby Brandy524 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:17 pm

Hilarious: "One great big pile of 'no'."

Ugh, that picture made me cringe. But it looks like a cool little place. I, too, like the chinchillas; very cute!

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Postby mcjaco » Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:18 pm


I had one of these as a pet. I believe they're Southern Painted Turtles.

I found a baby one in my back yard, and had it for about five years, then donated it to a local nature preserve. He's still there (ten years later)!

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Postby Electerik » Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:23 pm

^ I had an Eastern Painted Turtle when I was a kid. Very similar, obviously.

Left him with mom when I moved out. Eventually, she gave him to a lady that ran some kind of turtle house. He's still alive, I believe. Don't let your kids bring home turtles!
Erik Allen Elness


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Postby jamesdillaman » Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:04 pm

^ Unless you like turtle soup... ;-)

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Postby speedmetal » Sat Jan 09, 2010 2:01 pm

That was the best day. I can't believe we spent so much time there but it was so worth it. I would like to go back to see the chinchillas. :b And take more awesome photos for you to use. ;)
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Postby Electerik » Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:38 pm

Literally in the same building as the illustrious Earthquake, Treasure Quest offers 18-holes of all-weather, indoor mini golf--without all that blacklight nonsense.
It was a cold, wet day whence we ventured forth, verily.
I’m especially fond of the handicap “wheelchair” stencil holding a golf club.
The first hole is behind the mannequins, the final hole is on the left.
In the heart of deepest Africa, there lies a cleverly painted support pole.
Smisty putts as two Egyptian dudes breakdance-fight behind her.

“I throw an invisible snowball at you!” - “I stab thee with a serpent!”
Basically, the theme is Indiana Jones--without ever actually saying Indiana Jones--with pirates and whatever else they had lying around.
20P7200065.JPG pirates ride horses?
The only really bad thing about Treasure Quest is the putters. Even the biggest size was tiny.
Magical coin-operated mechanical devices.
Can you explain this diorama? No, you can not.
I like this crocodile in the green, even if it could be a bit more of an obstacle. Nice idea, though.
“Um...I’m not a skeleton. I’m just old. Hello...?”
Outside of the putter problem, it’s really not a bad little course.
“Ahoy there, Gilligan! Would you care to sleep with my wife? There’s gold in it for you!”
The final approach features a giant round ball.
Indiana Jones should have faced a giant gorilla with a rope. That would have rocked.
The final hole.
Us. And John Wayne, I guess.

Dun-da-dun-da, dun-dada…!
Erik Allen Elness



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