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Photo TR: Natatomic does the West Coast Trip


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Somewhat off-topic, but now that the TPR Texas Trip has passed, do you ever plan on doing the Texas parks at some time in the future?

 

I would LOVE to do some Texas parks, but unless someone drops some money into my lap (hint, hint for anyone who happens to have a pile of money that they just don't know what to do with) it probably won't happen until at LEAST 2011. :/

 

 

Did anyone take a picture of the Banana Split ride to appease the Obsessive Overlord of the Park Index?

 

I don't have a picture of the ride, but I do have a picture of the sign. Do you need that at all?

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Day 3, part 2: Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk

 

GUUUUUUH, this park was packed. PACKED. We did get almost everything done (the only thing I missed was the Rock-o-Plane), so I'm speaking less from a I-didn't-get-it-all-in point of view and more from a I-hate-people pov. It really was a nice place though. I loved Giant Dipper, and while nothing else sticks out in my mind quite like that wonderful woodie, I still enjoy everything else the park had to offer, especially since the park treated us so well. We had a wonderful dinner on our own private deck, which included exclusive access to a beach volleyball court (by the way, volleyballs HURT. I think a bowling ball is softer) AND free beer and wine, and we also got an incredible walk-back underneath the carousel and in and around the Giant Dipper.

 

OH! Also - I had only been on a carousel with a ring-grabbing thing (official scientific name, that is) once before, back when I was 5 or 6 at Dollywood. And you know how that experience went for me? TERRIBLY, because I was too short to grab a single ring, and I can trace all my failures in my life since then back to that moment. Especially since by the time I had grown enough to reach the rings THEY HAD GOTTEN RID OF THEM, talk about salt in the wounds. Oh, I need a kleenex just from telling that story. So this was finally my chance to make up for that traumatic childhood experience of mine, and I was rather successful in doing so, but my joy was ever-so-slightly tainted by the 5-ish year old girl on the horse in front of me who had NO problem whatsoever grabbing any rings. Whatever. I'm not bitter. I finally reached a ring*. That's all I needed.

 

*Will probably be the title of my autobiography, which you basically just now read the cliff-notes for.

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The end.

 

Coming up - California's Great America.

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THIS ring game.

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And finally, we rode the carousel if only to be polite after seeing under her skirt just a few hours earlier. Also, to play the ring game.

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Also, the chair lift had a blow-up dolls on a couple of the chairs, and again....no idea.

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And then we did the little haunted dark ride, even though I'm not a fan of riding in anything coffin-esque.

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Honestly, I don't know WHAT this was.

 

However, it was still better than the MonStars of Rock at HRP.

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And after our intimate look-around, Robbie anointed the Giant Dipper his 200th coaster.

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No need for a caption here.

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One day I'm gonna have a house with a window 4 inches away from a coaster track just like this one. (And that is a train going by in case you couldn't tell)

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These aren't spare nails, they're just the ones that have fallen out but they've not got around to hammering back in yet.

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This does something important, I'm sure.

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Which I just look ADORABLE in front of.

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And now onto some nerd shots, like the lift chain...

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But back to coaster porn.

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...and whatever the hell this is.

 

What a hottie. <3

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...and this...

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And this happened...

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Even Robbie gave me a sweet li'l pose.

 

But then, his punchy-ness kicked in.....

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And with a billion cameras on you, who wouldn't pose?

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The GP are such posers.

 

Ha ha. Get it? Posers? Like, they're posing for us? Is this thing on?

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Apparently there's no 'loose articles' policy.

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Now that is some sexy track work.

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Onto the coaster walk-back

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And the ever rare and exotic ring return machine.

 

Your mom's equipment also starts automatically.

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Oooo...up the skirt of the carousel. I feel so naughty!

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This is by far the second best concrete corridor I've ever walked through.

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On the way to the walk back of Giant Dipper, we took a surprise detour to the under-lair of the carousel! Amazing!

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I don't remember much of this meal but this: the sauce on the chicken? That sauce was pretty much the best sauce of all sauce. Mmmm.

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Now that I think about it, I think we had our exclusive dinner and walk-back tour before we did Hurricane, but no big deal. I'll cover that stuff now.

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It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but this part right here did send a shiver up my spine. :S

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Uh, I don't think so. No, I'm gonna call you Fake Boobies. That's a more appropriate name considering things that seem to be prolific in the region.

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Next was Hurricane, which - wait, do they even have hurricanes on the west coast? They don't, do they? Well, that's a dumb name then. I mean, we don't have any Volcanoes over here on the east coast (talking about the coaster at KD), but still. If you're gonna put a coaster all of three feet from an ocean and call it "Hurricane," you better damn well have some hurricanes.

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I did not take this picture. It was taken by the very kind Mike L., though I did crop it to zoom in on my lovely face. I figure I make fun of others enough, I might as well pick on myself too.

 

So, uh, look at my funny mouth. Ha ha ha.

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AHAHAHAHAHA...Jake...

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Jenn seems to be surfing

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Oh, if only Jake were sitting behind Neil, this picture would have been PERFECT.

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Wes: "Do the Puppet Master!"

 

(

)

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I'm starting to think that Chris is just a naturally terrified person.

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What's wrong with these two? Too prudish to whore themselves out? Do they have sex offender records that prevent them from being within 100 yards of children? Hmm, probably one of each.

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Ugh, a LINE? For the kiddie? Who do these people think they are? KIDS?

 

*eye roll* Whatever.

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First things first, folks. Time to whore it up.

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I don't remember much of this meal but this: the sauce on the chicken? That sauce was pretty much the best sauce of all sauce. Mmmm.

 

Do not let the Delgrosso's people hear you say that. They will hunt you down. They will!

 

If you're gonna put a coaster all of three feet from an ocean and call it "Hurricane," you better damn well have some hurricanes. Uh, I don't think so. No, I'm gonna call you Fake Boobies. That's a more appropriate name considering things that seem to be prolific in the region.

 

I'm going to go ahead and call this the funniest thing ever posted on TPR (except maybe those shots of Robbie, for which there are no words). Also, fake boobies > hurricanes any day of the week.

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Riding a tricycle in a concrete corridor while wearing a paper bag over your head is better than Monstars of Rock.

 

Ah, yes--the Cave Train, a bizarre, Flintstones-inspired journey through the depravity of prehistoric man. In addition to the caveman on the chairlift, they used to have a caveman on a perch with a megaphone, shilling for the Cave Train and SCBB's knockoff of the Autopia, the Autorama (which I think is gone now--correct?).

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Did anyone take a picture of the Banana Split ride to appease the Obsessive Overlord of the Park Index?

 

I don't have a picture of the ride, but I do have a picture of the sign. Do you need that at all?

 

I have the sign. Since I never saw the ride when I hit the park on a quick credit run in 2007, I'm starting to think the actual ride doesn't exist or is hidden from me by a cloaking device.

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Wes, being Canadian, couldn't believe all this fancy technology we had in America. He asked, "Your polar bears, eh, must have some good balance, eh, to pull us along on this here beam, eh?" That face is his response to when I explained that we have electricity and motors, instead of animals, in America to move our vehicles for us. Bless him.

 

1. Apparently he only lives two hours away from me (when I'm living in Canada at least) which is cool.

 

2. Polar bears are obviously for the bigger rides (we dangle a piece of steak in front of 'em for our more powerful launch rides) but beavers are frequently used for kiddie/dark rides or chain lifts under 150 feet.

 

 

The third one leads me to believe Robbie hails from Sparta.

 

Also, the chair lift had a blow-up dolls on a couple of the chairs, and again....no idea.

 

Californian storage system?

 

This thread continues to deliver. Also, when in the hell did I hit 3000 posts? If it was a previous post in this thread it's so worth it.

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^I never think to look at my post count either, but oh crap. My next post (probably the CGA update) will be #666! Hmmm, I'm gonna have to find some way to sneak some crucifixes and holy water into the report.

 

That or just go for the ol' "Cedar Fair really IS evil" trick.

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Day 4: California's Great America

 

Okay, so this didn't end up being my 666th post. Shame, because it would've been rather appropriate for the park, I think. There really isn't much for me to say about this CGA. The only coaster I really enjoyed was Flight Deck, though it nearly killed me with it's intensity. It was small, but it was a bi- well, you know where I'm going with that. Other than that, it's your typical Cedar Fair park - trashcanapalooza, uninspired theming, lots of concrete and asphalt, little shade, and a couple of mediocre coasters that beat you up. However, I'd have to say it was my least favorite CF park that I had been to up to that point (I had yet to go to Knott's. Blegh.)

 

(Also, as I was uploading THE VERY LAST PHOTO, my computer froze and I thought I was going to have to restart it. OH the welling of the tears! I was 3 seconds away from throwing the computer across the room and downing a prozac with a vodka chaser, when it miraculously righted itself and all was well again. Honestly, this update is not my best - it's one of those 'gave it a lick and a promise' type of updates - but it still took FOREVER, and I was not amused at the thought of losing it all. Okay I really need to hit submit before my computer spazzes on me again.)

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...and Robbie decided to turn his security in his masculinity into a eye-protecting accessory.

 

Next: SFMM

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...Neil wet himself when Robb played a sing-a-long video from his childhood...

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Oh wow. I just realized that was my last photo of the park. Huh, I guess that ended kind of abruptly. Anyway, we then had another long, long, long bus ride, in which the blood rushed to poor Dora's head...

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Ahem. I'm going to refrain from comment for the next few photos, and you can insert your own - oh how do I put this delicately? - 'male-oriented' jokes.

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Just fyi, if I ever take a photo of Ben (as seen here), there is about a 90% chance that I have taken it with his lens that I stole (again, as seen here).

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As much as I love water rides, my hair does not, and since my hair wears the pants in this relationship, I typically sit them out (the water rides, not the pants) and take photos of other people not being dominated by their hair.

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Snappable or not, I can never resist a flyer.

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When I own my own home one day, I'm gonna paint 'Pizza' on the roof just like this. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LIKE PIZZA. I am dedicated to the cause.

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At least he got some Chinese food out of the deal.

 

(Oh my gosh, that may be the most awful joke I've made yet...)

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Then again, he did pay the kid $20 to ride with him, so he damn well better have freaking amazing time.

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Kerri is having what I think is an appropriate amount of fun for this kiddie, but SOMEONE is clearly over doing it just a bit.

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Yeah, definitely whoring.

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Okay, I can't make any excuses for this one. THIS was whoring, pure and simple.

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Honestly, I don't remember a damn thing about this coaster. I know it's suppose to be horrible but I....I can't seem to recollect a single personal feeling about this woodie. Soooo...well say it was Meh.

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So, this was only the second inverted boomerang I had ever been on, and while it wasn't as smooth as the one at Kings Island, it was still FAR smoother than any SLC I've had the displeasure to ride. It's the difference of hitting your head too hard against a pillow vs being hit in the head with a sledge hammer. How'd you manage that, Vekoma?

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Hah, the first time I saw this picture I thought Piers was on a laptop there in the back.

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Personally, I did not feel that this qualified as whoring for me. I grew up on Rugrats. I was riding merely for the nostalgia, you see.

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Their eyes look so.....dead. Not even Neil's half-smile can hide the fact that they're souls have all been lost to Satan. Oh well, that's what happens when you ride a coaster called "Demon" and not "Jesus."

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...but I snapped a photo of some TPR people who did. Including Larry the bus driver! Hi Larry!

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I didn't get a chance to go on this...

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Well, Neil seemed to enjoy it anyway. Everyone else seems bored.

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Neil and Jake are taking one last look at their feet...just in case.

 

(Tasteless? Too soon? I dunno...)

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Some people like these.

 

Some people like their feet.

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I think they're imitating squirrels more than mice, but whatever. I didn't want to be the one to stifle their imagination.

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But these people are sad after riding Vortex too, so clearly, it's just a sucky ride.

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Not even Mike Austin approves.

 

Wait, that's not weird...

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Don't let it's quaint size, B&M-ness, or soft mauve color-scheme fool you. It will kick your ass.

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I seem to only catch Jake mid-blink or post-joint or something.

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Sometimes I like to pretend I'm artsy and actually know what I'm doing with my camera.

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Little known fact: Shaded queues are considered a cardinal sin in CF's twisted religion.

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Oh my gosh, this was an intense little sucker.

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Wait, which Great America is this again?

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Good thing there's not some punk kid standing in front of me ruining my shot of the entrance.

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Survivor was fun but I can't go on it anymore since it spins same w/Delirum & Endavor & even the Flying Eagles & Celebration Swings & the Spongebob Boatmobiles. Those all make me feel sick after! Oh & even the Berserker oh & Centrifuge. Endavor is my favorite. Too bad I can't go on it. At least the Drop Zone at CGA is one of the tallest. Vortex & The Grizzly are the ABSOLUTE WORST. The Demon & Top Gun are ok. The Demon was my first upside down coaster back in 1993. I'm sorry but I'd much rather have Stealth over that dumb water park & Greased Lightnin instead of Firefall.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 5: Six Flags Magic Mountain

 

First of all, sorry for the delay. Though in all actuality, what I really should be saying sorry for is getting your hopes up by doing the previous updates so regularly, because that's not like me AT ALL. This speed, one update every week or two (sometimes three!), is more like it. However, I really WAS going to be good about this whole trip report and be on top of things, but last week was just a bad week. A terrible, depressing week. I got my heart broken and then - even WORSE - my camera broke. My fancy-shmancy, very expensive camera. The one without which this trip report would not be possible. And then my Nalgene bottle broke, and I JUST LOST IT. LIFE WAS NOT WORTH LIVING AT THAT POINT. OH WOE WOE WOE. But I got over two of those three things (that damn Error 99 message on my camera is just MOCKING me), and I am now here to tell you, gentlemen and/or stalkers, that this girl is once again available, and that title of mine underneath my username is no longer a tease but true as the holy gospel. So, if any of you out there are about to pounce on this opportunity to woo me, feel free to buy me a new camera. Or just poke me on facebook. Whatever, I'll take either, the low maintenance girl that I am.

 

Anyway! Trip Report! Six Flags Magic Mountain! I love Six Flags Magic Mountain! After all the negative things I'd heard about it in the past, I was pleasantly surprised at how wonderful it was. Of course, it didn't hurt that they gave us a bonus entry and ERT on Goliath the night before our official day at the park and then ERT on six - count 'em, SIX - coasters ON the official day. OH, and those fantastic Gold Q-bots, how deeply my love runs for them. It was all so perfect. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if the entire park was indoors and air conditioned because I really was this close *thumb and pointer finger only hairs apart* to dying from the heat. Dyyyyiiiiiinnnnnggg. It's not that I'm not used to the heat - because I certainly am - but between it, the exhaustion starting to hit from all the walking and lack of sleep from subsequent days, and me not drinking my normal amount of water (I drink 2 non-broken, 64-ounce Nalgene bottles-full a day, and my water intake probably dropped down to 16oz/day on the trip), I felt like DEATH. When I was a kid (and I swear I'm going somewhere with this), after a long day at the pool I'd get this really odd feeling in my lungs whenever I took a breath, and the deeper the breath, the more pronounced the feeling. It was like my lungs had turned to ice and with each breath it felt like the sides were starting to touch each other and stick or something (that's just what it felt like, I don't know what was actually happening), and if I took TOO deep of a breath, I'd go into this awful coughing fit. Since it only happened at the pool as a kid (where I'd spend hours and hours at a time), I assumed it had something to do with water. But then it happened at SFMM - no water there - so I then changed that theory to hours and hours of activity in the extreme heat. And since I never really did sit down and rest, it just got worse throughout the day, and I was almost expecting to just pass out and die on a coaster from whatever was going on in my chest. (Did it keep me from riding? Pshh. No. Not that I didn't care about my health, but I spent a pretty penny on this trip, and you better believe I wasn't going to let a little thing like MY LUNGS stop me from getting my money's worth). Anyone else ever experience anything like this? I've always been curious as to what it is.

 

Quick notes about some note-worthy rides:

 

X2 - In the dark? On an inside seat? Probably my #1 coaster. Or at least in the top 3. During the day, though? Eh, maybein my top 10. And on an outside seat? No. Just...no.

 

Goliath - The helix broke my arms. For serious.

 

Terminator - Amazing. Tied for best woodie on the trip for me (along with Giant Dipper at SCBB, but for very different reasons. Apples and oranges, really).

 

Tatsu - That thing was GIGANTIC. OH MUH GUH.

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And thus this wonderful day comes to an end.

 

Next: Universal Studios Hollywood.

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You know, with the lack of humidity, my hair loved, loved, LOVED all of California (oh, it had never been so manageable).....Except for the station of Terminator. Not that my hair looked that great by the end of the day after 14 hours of coasters, but still. With all the misters constantly running in the station like that, I don't know how female ride-ops stand it.

 

Oh, and take the tunnel.

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Part of the preshow, though I don't remember much about it. I was too distracted by the number of other people who also got sucked into the for-profit oxygen scheme.

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Wow, it got dark fast, eh? So time for Terminator ERT!

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I'm nothing if not lady-like.

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Hi Mike! I hope you don't mind, but I'm about to "borrow" a picture or two from you as well.

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Then we did the (almost) only flat ride in the entire park! This!

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By the way, this is what my feet looked like just THIS far into the trip. Even now, those tan lines still remain.

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All in all, (in my opinion) it either does nothing, or I was just too far gone for it to do anything for me. It sure did smell nice though. And we got to keep our nose things as a souvenir, so...not a total lost.

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So, I almost didn't include this picture because, you know, broken heart and whatnot, but it really is too good to leave out.

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There were two others, but this TR is really getting lengthy...

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And here are a few of the scents they laced in my oxygen to (supposedly) give me a boost.

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I look high, but I still think it was just the heat stroke setting in.

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British Neil thought it was decent.

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And since a couple of others weren't feeling so great, we decided to try this gimmicky pick-me-up: Oxygen! That's right, that stuff that you can get for free any time, anywhere? Well, now you can PAY for it! With your own hard-earned money! What a world.

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But we didn't ride it until night ERT. Also, I was too near death at this point to make my way through the exit to get better pictures than this. Sorry.

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Honestly now, they should have named it Amish Terminator.

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I did think I was going to die on it though. There were a handful of jolts that definitely did not feel, uh...right.

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The few times I went to SFoG while Deja Vu was there, it was always closed. So I was quite glad to finally get the chance to ride one of these.

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This picture was SO close to being clean and wholesome. OH so close...

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And as long as I'm on a roll with Neil pictures...

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Does that help at all?

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The joke here is subtle...

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But I DID get this awesome shot at least.

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...I don't know WHAT happened here. I mean, I guess it's still an okay picture - the whole train is there and all - but I wanted it to look like the previous picture only WITH a train. What happened, Nat? The heat, it fried my brain.

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And while the trainless picture turned out fine...

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(Ahem, I "borrowed" this photo from Ben's facebook)

 

As I was still feeling awful, I lied down on the concrete at the bottom of the skytower to get a photo of Tatsu flying by.

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I basically made one quick lap around the top to take pictures and then I lied down to rest and bask in the cool, crisp air of the A/C. Everyone else took their time to admire and take pictures of all the SF memorabilia also up there. I swear, I didn't see a single thing. :/

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Next, we went up to the skytower thing, and it was at this point that I started going downhill in terms of feel-well-ness.

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Chris doing the Mr. Six dance.

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Obviously, these people have no shame.

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Whorey, whore, whore, whore, whore.

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So, when I have a daughter, I'm gonna name her "Lia" and bring her here to take her birth announcement pictures. Which will work out perfectly, since I'll already be in CA when she's born (you'll see why in a couple of updates from now. Sorry you have to wait for that to make sense).

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Oh my gosh, what is this coaster called? I KNOW this. Ugh, it's on the tip of my tongue.

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Colossus? More like a "Colossus" waste of time. Biiiiiiiitch please.

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And then we rode The Ride.

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It was for VIPs only, but they let me in too for some reason.

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Riddler's Revenge, which, as far as stand-ups go, wasn't too bad.

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Neil the Ninja

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It's nice to know that Superman supports polyandry, though.

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First, we headed to Superman, though it was more like Ordinaryman or Unremarkableman. At the apex of the climb, the car probably had 60-80ft of track left to go.

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And after ERT, we got our Q-bots. Which is all I'm going to say about this photo.

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Meeee!

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Screw a love-seat, I want THIS in my living room.

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X x x 2 2 2

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Blegh. At least it was a credit.

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Then again, some parts of it were just huge, pure and simple.

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And it's not just the size that makes Tatsu so big, it's how they used the hills to their advantage. Being that high off the ground in the flying position...mmm, it was a rush.

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Neil also showed his dorky side, but at least he has a more respectable landmark number to show for it.

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And then Tatsu, which was my - bum buh-dah duuuum! - 250th coaster! And while I don't really consider 250 a "landmark" number, that didn't stop me from making a sign and showing of my dork-dome.

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First, ERT on Revolution, which, by the way, does NOT have girl-friendly restraints.

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Either I had something embarrassing on me like toilet paper coming out of my pants, or these people just happy about morning ERT.

 

(The paranoid side of me thinks the former.)

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Wow, everyone in the west really is a cowboy! The stereotype is truuuuuuuue!

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Sorry to here about your horrible week, If i weren't so madly in love with my wife i would leave her for you. Things will get better just give it some time. My wife and i have been going down that road for the last year now, but things are just starting to look up a little now.

 

Just hang in their.

 

Any way great trip report, i always look forward to reading your reports they some of the best, keep up the great work.

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The "felt like I was gonna die due to excessive heat dehydration death" thing has hapenned to me at SFMM before also. The fact that you went in the summer, its in the desert, and the coasters are intense as all hell sometimes can equate to some not good results. Especially since you were on a long trip that mustve sucked.

 

Anyone else find it funny one of those oxygen things said INTOXICATING on the label?

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