Photo TR: Chuck Does It Scandi Style

TPR's 2009 Scandinavian Tour--UPDATE: Linnanmaki
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Archived Photo Trip Reports of Theme Parks, Roller Coasters, and Donkeys!
Wee Sweaty Bifkin
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Postby cobra_roll06 » Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:46 am

Loving the TR Chuck! It already feels like months ago since we were there.

And that Ghost Train was the worst one for me on the trip! The live actor touching my neck nearly reduced me to tears!
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Postby rollin_n_coastin » Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:51 am

^Oh sure Steve, way to spoil it :) If it means anything, I made a strange noise louder than whatever Bill did lol
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Postby cobra_roll06 » Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:00 am

^If only someone had told me before I had went on! When I first shouted to Lou "Something just touched me!" I thought maybe it was my OWN hand that touched my neck! We soon discovered that was not the case! :lmao:
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Postby cfc » Sat Jul 04, 2009 11:12 am

^I think that guy "got" everyone who rode, Steve--even I was a little freaked.
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Postby Divv3k » Sat Jul 04, 2009 11:37 am

The guy ignored me. I think he was having too much fun scaring Steve who was in the car in front!

Great TR so far Chuck! I'll start mine once you finish yours! (Give or take a few days or weeks!)

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Postby rollin_n_coastin » Sat Jul 04, 2009 12:16 pm

haha you had to be sitting on the left side of the car (at least that day) and whoever was in there got different parts of everyone. I got what felt like an upper leg massage (major creepy).

^Divv, good luck. I have no idea if and when I'll start one. It'll happen eventually though, it's always cool going through old pics.
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Postby cfc » Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:52 pm

Chapter 4: Before the Deluge--Hansa Park

Hansa is a very good park that's working on being even better--all starting with a new, operational, if not-quite-finished world-class ride in Fluch von Novgorod.

This park was the original home of Legoland, and it's steadily evolving as a theme park with an nice collection of rides and some impressive themed areas (to the Old West and Old Mexico). But Hansa's future plans are what will really make it stand out. The entire front of the park is going to be extensively rethemed from a sort of generic entry portal into a tribute to the great port cities of Europe. It's a huge project and should be awesome when it's finished.

Hansa's new ride will do (heck, is already doing) quite a bit to beef up their offerings.

Fluch von Novgorod-- This new, launched Eurofighter, which blasts off from, around, and through a cursed castle, is fully operational as a coaster, even though they're still putting on a lot of finishing touches, such as theming in the queue and what should be a very impressive dark-ride portion (akin to Mystery Mine at Dollywood). The ride is already great in its "unfinished" state, and I'd love to go back when all the elements are in place. Plenty of air and surprises on this one.

Nessie--Another nice, old looping Schwartzkopf. It's not exactly an airtime machine, but it whips around like the famous Scottish monster it's named for (complete with a crop into Nessie's mouth).

Rasender Roland--This is a better-than-average mine train that interacts with Nessie (right through the loop, as a matter of fact). It looks like you could "high five" the Schwarzkopf riders when they circle overhead.

Crazy Mine--For all you nuts who actually kind of like the "Rattlesnake" clones (like me), this ride is for you. Kind of rough, but very nicely themed (particularly the queue, which has its own "jug band").

The park boasts an excellent flume ride, a pretty good Mack splash boat ride (rather old school), and a decent spinning-raft ride, in addition to a respectable collection of flats. It could use a first-class ghost train (in addition to Fulch von Novgorod), but I really enjoyed myself. The park has a good vibe and is quite beautiful, too.

Here's a look at Hansa Park. Some of the pictures are a bit dark (it was a cloudy, drizzly day--but nothing compared to what was coming).
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This chapter is brought to you by Bag 'o' Booze! Yes, we will definitely put you in the bag!
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We took a three-hour ferry ride from Denmark to Germany the night before.
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"Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp-drizzly November in my soul . . .
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. . . then I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can."
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This was my favorite hotel of the trip until we got to Power Park.
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Good eats, too.
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Hansa Park has a pretty impressive gate.
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"Really, when you take into account the evolution of most coaster braking systems . . ." Crickets chirping . . .
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Once again, here's a park that treated us really well.
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Behold the future!
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"So this is what it's like to be Godzilla!"
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After learning what it was like to be some stuntman in a rubber monster suit, it was time for some ERT on . . .
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. . . the fully operational . . .
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. . . if not-quite-finished Fulch von Novgorod.
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"Damn Lowe's contractors! Never show up when they're supposed to!"
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"At least the electrician's on the ball. Now if we could just finish the roof to keep the birds out."
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"Whaddaya mean this sucker's not finished?"
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"Looks pretty much done to me!"
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"Hell, they got this twisty part done. So, what else do ya want?"
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"Wainscotting? Pots of geraniums, maybe? I think it's fine the way it is."
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"Yeah, I think they've took care of every detail. . . oh my freakin' god! they forgot about this wall . . . crap!"
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When you exit Fulch, you can take the stairs, or the Cursed Blood-Red Slide of Death!
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There is another surprise in the queue-if you take the wrong path. More to come, after I finish dinner.
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Postby cfc » Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:03 pm

Well, Chuck has just finished cooking and eating a nice dinner of BBQued pork ribs with steamed broccoli and cauliflower. You know what would've been perfect with this meal?

Yes, a nice Bag 'o' Booze! You can wash down damn near anything with the right liquor in nice, convenient, airline-sized bottles!

Here's some more from Hansa Park.
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Hansa's mascot looks like a killer whale crossed with a penguin, which is odd because the former often eats the latter, right?
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"When some stupid with a flare gun/Burned the place to the ground!/Smo-o-o-oke on the wa-a-ter . . ."
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"I'm Engineer Liz! Yay me!"
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Yes, under the enlightened leadership of Engineer Liz, all returned safely from their close encounter with . . .
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. . . Nessie!
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I fail at taking pictures of this ride--sorry.
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Why, why do European parks do such a great job with Wild West theming? The James Boys would be proud to shoot out windows on this street while on a murderous rampage.
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The theming even caused spontaneous hoedowns to break out among the Brits.
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Hmm--not sure what it's inspired in Erik, though.
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"OK, you laugh--but at least I'll know where I've been."
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"Why are we warming our hands around the imaginary fire?"
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"After all, there are other ways to warm up . . .
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. . . and risk great bodily injury."
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Jolie could so totally do that--she just doesn't want to.
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Of course, there is always the danger of "wardrobe malfunction."
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Problem solved.
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Aw, bless their wittle hearts.
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This should shake, rattle, and roll them awake.
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"When we begin the beguine . . ."
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Even the mouse's queue is pretty well themed.
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Turn . . . bang . . . ow . . . repeat. Still more to come.
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Postby cfc » Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:29 pm

The makers of Bag 'o' Booze would like to remind you to drink responsibly.

Yes. We really would.

Back to Hansa Park.
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And now, the not-so-spinny raft ride.
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"What? Read the safety instructions to you? Do I look German, gringo?"
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Yep--even the station for the raft ride is pretty nice. (U.S. parks take note.)
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"OK, everyone--what does this ride need?"
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"More spinning. And the Swedish Bikini Team."
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"I think this ride needs to sit back, take a deep breath, and meditate on the nature of existence."
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"You know what this park needs? A Boomerang!"
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"Of course, there are some people who like to go both ways. Sick puppies, I call them."
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"We're feeling a damp, drizzly November in our souls! Time to go to sea . . .
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. . . or ride the El Paso Express."
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Here's an old ride you don't see too often anymore.
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Kind of "meh."
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It did have this cool exit, though. You have to solve series of puzzles involving music and tones to get past the water obstacles.
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Kind of tricky when you don't know much German. How's it coming, guys?
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They did it! Or did they?
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Next group.
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"Hmm--maybe we can just squeeze between these streams of water."
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And now, a relaxing boat ride that illustrates the eternal Cycle of Nature.
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Nature, for all its beauty, can be harsh and unyielding.
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Witness, the case of this flower. Hang in there little flower!
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But, no. The little flower must someday yield to the water, and be eaten by the frog. Such is the Cycle of Nature.
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The frog will be eaten by the gnome--for that, too, is the Cycle of Nature.
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Then this cannibal will kill the gnome with his blow gun, then eat him (except for the spleen, which he doesn't fancy). And this is the Cycle of Nature.
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Eventually, the singing carnivorous tree will eat of the cannibal, die, fall over, rot, and provide food for the next little flower. Yes, the Cycle of Nature in all its glory! One more set of Hansa pics to come.
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Postby cfc » Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:47 pm

You know, booze is good for what ails you. Yes, one little Bag 'o' Booze, and all your problems magically just go away.

Only to come back when you sober up.

So, buy another Bag 'o' Booze and keep your troubles at bay!

We hope you enjoy this one last look at Hansa Park.
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"Hello, sailor." (Yes, that was far too easy.)
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"You know, my other mermaid just doesn't understand me."
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"We're sorry, but only goofy-looking cartoon people may board the log flume."
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Hey, looks like three of the Five Bear Rugs found work, too!
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Pfft! You call that a splash?
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Well, Ron, Dave, Fran, Jon, and Michael are gonna show you how to make a man-sized splash.
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Observe their subtle technique as they approach the pool.
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Note the symmetry of their initial contact. These men are artists!
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Envelopment must be full and complete.
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Re-emergence must be sudden.
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Yes, we have just witnessed genius!
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Well done, gentlemen.
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Time to call it day at Hansa Park--a great place run by some great people. I'll have to come back here again.
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Thank you, Hansa! TPR says, "Good night!"
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