Photo TR: Franklin, Hamilton, Hershey, Morey, and Knoebel

You still have time for Hershey! They're open until 12/31. Very cool to get to do Gettysburg for that long. I would assume that he would have taken you play-by-play through the three days of the battle, which would be quite the experience I would think.

Yes, that is exactly what Michael's brother did during the three days at Gettysburg - it was really cool.

As far as Hershey, I will still hold out hope. Michael surprised me with Roger Waters concert tickets for my birthday last night (for the concert in Buffalo on the 9th), so we are finally getting to where he is healed enough from his six month stint in the hospital to where we can get out there and start having some fun again!

I am certainly hoping that we can do a park this year, but that might be too much for him to handle at this point - we'll take it one day at a time though!

Enjoy Roger Waters. I'm jealous.

Yeah, if you don't make it this year, they'll still be around next year. Glad he's recovering, at whatever speed that happens.

This trip is exactly the trip I want to do. Thanks for writing this up! Really enjoy following along.

Thanks to everyone who's responded, even if I don't get to your comment specifically. I'm glad everybody is enjoying reading. It certainly was fun visiting all these places, and also reliving the experience through putting this report together. Now to the main event!

Day 6: The Best Campground Ever

I got up early again (camping time) and took off for the best campground ever: Knoebels! I arrived about 9:30 and checked with the campground office to see if I could park in my camping spot or if I would have to park in the main parking lot and move my car later. Turns out there was no one in my spot the previous night, so I parked in my spot and walked into Knoebels. The park would open at 11, so I went in for a very good (and super cheap) breakfast. I had heard it was best to go to Knoebels hungry, and that is not wrong!

Since there is no admission to Knoebels, or even a front gate as such, I walked in among workers setting up for the day. I went right by Over the Top, which was down the whole two days. I had planned for the trip before IAAPA, but when Knoebels announced they had bought one, I was eagerly anticipating this ride. It’s sad that ride may not open at all due to an accident at a totally different park. Knoebels deserves better than this. Really glad they’re taking safety seriously here though.

After some good eats, it was time to find out where to purchase a wristband. I asked the person at the nearest ticket booth, but it turns out only one specific ticket booth sells the wristbands, and she was having trouble describing where it was. All I knew was that I had to find a mini golf course, and it would be near there. I had done a lot of planning for this trip, but I was still a bit lost in this park. It’s not at all like any other amusement park I’ve ever been to, and while that’s awesome, it also takes a bit of getting used to.

I found the mini golf and went to a ticket booth near there, but still not the right one! Fortunately this person pointed me to a larger building with a long line. Ah, finally in the right place! I bought my wristband and proceeded directly to Flying Turns.

This was my first experience on a bobsled coaster, and it was so cool. It’s not exactly a roller coaster, really, feels so much different. I absolutely loved it and it was worth every second of the half hour spent in line for it.

Next I made my way over to the legend, the one and only, the king of airtime, The Phoenix!

Oh.

My.

God.

*sigh*

I am in love.

Okay, first of all, there was one train running when I got in line, and the line was spilling quite a ways after the entrance. As I waited, they added a second train, and I still made it onto the ride in 22 minutes. Holy crap, I love this place. And then the ride itself totally delivered. It started out as a fun wooden coaster. I had my hands out and was enjoying myself. And then after the second turnaround, Phoenix turned diabolical and decided I was no longer welcome to be in my seat. THE AIRTIME!!!! Oh my god, I have never experienced anything like this. There are rides I’ve loved, that I thought had good airtime, and Phoenix forced me to re-evaluate those. This coaster has redefined what a coaster should be.

After an immediate re-ride, I went on to explore some of the other rides here. StratosFEAR is awesome! But then, these Larson towers always are. Twister was very cool, and very different from anything else I’ve ever ridden. Knoebels is 3/3 on their wooden coasters!

Next up was the flyers. Up to this point, I had only ridden the new Larson model. This was my first experience with the Bisch-Rocco version.

Oh.

My.

God.

*sigh*

I am in love.

This ride flew up so high and snapped so easily. I had heard people praise the Bisch-Rocco flyers, but I will assure anyone who like me had only ridden the Larson version—you haven’t been on a flyers until you’ve ridden one of these.

Now out to the front of the park and Impulse. The single rider line actually took almost as much time as the regular line, with only one car running. The ride itself was really great, as I’ve come to expect from Eurofighters, but when only running one car, they might as well not have a single rider line at all.

On to the Skyride! I’ve never been on one quite like this. It went up the mountain like it thinks it’s a ski lift, turns around, and then gives you incredible views of the park and the surrounding Appalachian Mountains.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned that this is the first time I’ve ever been to the Appalachians, and they are stunningly beautiful. I live in the Ozarks; I love mountain scenery, and find it very relaxing. Philadelphia was great, and New Jersey was…an experience. This section of the trip though, with its similarity to where I’ve lived for 32 years, was the part of the trip I was able to let my guard down and just enjoy every minute of it. This was the vacation part of my vacation. It felt like home. Can Elysburg be home? Please?

Okay, so I came down off the mountain, and the next goal was the pierogis. About a decade ago (has it been that long?) I went to Poland on a trip with one of my college professors. I was a double major in English and history, and this was a trip that explored World War II sites in Europe. It was a great experience, and one I’ll never forget. Anyway, pierogis. Yeah, so I’ve had the real thing, and I will say that the pierogi place as found via Coasterbill’s pierogi map, those are the best pierogis I’ve ever had outside of Poland. Bar none. I mean that.

Still reeling from the unfathomable awesomeness of the pierogis, I went to the last coaster, Kozmo’s Kurves. Now, I’m not one for riding children’s coasters, as most of them are crap. I’ll ride with my kids for sure, but that’s because seeing my kids have fun is the point, and not necessarily the coaster itself. I rode no other children’s coasters this whole trip, but I made an exception for this one, and for good reason. I rode in the back row, and there was actually some mild airtime. This thing is brilliant.

Knoebels is 5/5 on their coasters. Yeah. Almost everywhere has one that’s not that great, but here all the rides are just super awesome. They’re all run to their full capabilities, and that’s what makes me gush over this place. If you’ve never been to Knoebels, you owe it to yourself to go. Whatever it costs you, it’s absolutely worth it. Knoebels will make it worth all the time, money, and effort it takes to get there. Take it from me, a guy who went through the Badlands of Philadelphia to get there.

On to some other rides. I loved 1001 Nachts, not quite enough to marry it, but close. I also tried out Downdraft and Power Surge and loved both of them! The Whip was fantastic (2 for 2 so far!) and the bumper cars were amazing as well. The Paratroopers were the best I’ve ever experienced, with a super long cycle, and the Parachute drop was fun as well. This place is so great! There’s not been a bad ride yet!

Black Diamond, the park’s dark ride/coaster, was really great. I always love a ride that tells a story, and Black Diamond’s story was one of the coal mining industry in the area immediately surrounding Knoebels. My father in law is a retired miner, and a few decades ago the mountains of eastern Missouri were quite the industrial area…. So I do understand the story here; it’s the story of many places like this.

Today was Steak Night, so I headed over to Phoenix Junction for a great steak. Yeah, at a f*cking amusement park. I totally get why this place gets Best Food awards. It’s seriously right up there with SDC, Dollywood, and Disneyland.

More Phoenix, more Twister, and then on to the train ride. It snaked underneath Twister’s structure before going out to the woods to a…cult ceremony of some sort? Weird, creepy, awesome.

Next up was another spin on Impulse, then over to the Carousel for my first attempt to catch the brass rings. It took me a bit to get the rhythm, but once I did, I caught the brass ring on every spin. Got six in total. This was a great experience, and I’m so grateful Knoebels still does this.

I had to do the log flume, and the line was pretty long all day, so I went now in the early evening when the line dies down. This is one of the best flumes I’ve ever been on. Two good splashes, a fun ride through the cave, and great theming throughout. Very impressed.

There it was. I had ticked off all the boxes for the day, and all I wanted to do was ride Phoenix until the place closed. It was wonderful, and I went back to my campsite completely happy with my day. Today was all about the rides; tomorrow I would experience everything else Knoebels has to offer.

Wow! I am totally happily exhausted from your visit to Knoebels Part 1, Andrew! What a great looking park. So - much - greenery - all around it! I don't remember having it on my Bucket List (I have known about Knoebels for years and years, though), but hey - Now it is LOL! thanks to your awesome tour through all of it, including the food! My, my, a great steak, in a park? Count me in for that, nom nom nom!

Maybe I'll take up camping again, too! But first....need the tent, right?

Thanks for a Great ongoing TR, Andrew!

Great report! I'm glad you had fun, but I mean.. of course you did. It's f*cking Knoebels!

Love me some Knoebels. I have been pondering the idea of going down for the PPP and staying at the campground next door if Michael is up for it - that invite from TPR is looking VERY tempting!

So glad you had a blast! There really is something special about that place.

Great update Andrew! I really need to get to Knoebels.

Whenever I see a report like this it reminds me how F*&%ING awesome Knoebels is.

Thanks for the report and pictures!

^ Thanks everybody! Get set for more Knoebels awesomeness!

Day 7: Um…Free? As in No Money At All?

My second day at Knoebels I decided not to buy an all day wristband, instead spending the majority of the day on museums, shops, and other such things. It was really relaxing as I ate breakfast with not a care as to when Knoebels would be opening. Usually I try to dash into a park to take advantage of those early hours, so to take my time at a park opening was quite the luxury.

An SDC connection! What a wonderful find!

The first stop after breakfast was the Haunted Mansion. I had saved this for this day since it requires a ticket even if you have a wristband. This ride was so cool, absolutely the best old school dark ride I’ve ever been on. It’s creepy as hell, and there’s so much to look at. Wow, really great.

Next up was the Carousel Museum. They had a good number of artifacts, some of which have been restored beautifully. It’s only one room, but it’s really enjoyable. Take the time to step in here when you visit Knoebels.

I then went to the Mining Museum and Knoebels History Museum, both housed in the building next to Black Diamond. Very cool stuff to be found in both.

I wanted to see the eagles behind Black Diamond, because if there are animals in a park, I will go see them. They were hanging out in the shade, because they’re smart like that. I took note that there was a keeper chat later in the day and made plans to come back.

Lunch was at Cesari’s. I had a slice of cheese, and it wasn’t very good. Quite overcooked, and the slice didn’t fold so much as crumble. Best pizza ever, I think not.

Since the pizza was inedible, I instead got some pierogis. Ah, that’s the stuff! Just as good as the previous day.

I wandered around a bit looking through shops. It was kind of hard to pick out souvenir shirts, since it was near the end of the summer season and a lot of designs had only size small. I’m happy with the ones I got though.

Finally time for the keeper chat...and…they didn’t do anything with the eagles at all. Just this woman came out and said there are some eagles behind her, and do you have questions? One person did, and she didn’t know the answer. Like at all. And everyone started to leave, including me. WTF, Knoebels? You are so awesome in literally every other way. Get your eagle sh*t together.

All right, now it’s time for Fascination! I’ve done the one at Indiana Beach, and this one is similar, but the prizes require more tickets. I was able to bring home a bunch of crap from Indiana Beach, but here I didn’t get enough for anything. So I have some souvenir Fascination tickets instead!

I decided to give Cesari’s pizza another try, on the off chance that it was just one bad slice. I got the Sicilian this time, and it was great! This must be what people are raving about! I will attest that Cesari’s is awesome when it’s not burnt.

After that, it was about 5:00 and time to purchase my evening wristband! I went first to Flying Turns, then Impulse. Twice around on the log flume brought me to around 7:30, and it was time to spend the last 2 ½ hours of the day riding Phoenix non-stop.

Knoebels is completely unlike any other park I’ve ever been to, in the most awesome ways imaginable. For one, it’s super cheap. Well, not cheap exactly for me, when it requires a flight and rental car, but once you get there, you pay very little for what you get. The value for the money is astronomical compared to other parks. Second, there is a lot to do, and it’s all great. The rides are great, the museums are great, the shops are great, Fascination is great. There’s not a dud anywhere. Operations are spectacular (as they’re incentivized to keep the lines moving with a pay-per-ride model), the people are friendly, and the whole park just has this small town feel to it that I love. Knoebels rocketed to one of my favourite parks anywhere and was absolutely the best park on my trip, even considering the lofty heights of my Hersheypark visit. This place is wonderful, and I totally get why everyone has raved so much about it. It deserves all the praise it gets and more.

Great report! The free museums at Knoebels are really cool. I'm glad you got to check them out.

That first slice of Cesari's looks nasty...like it had sat around for a while.

When we got ours, it not only folded, but you had to eat it with a knife and fork because it was so gooey with cheese. Certainly not the greatest pizza on earth, but for amusement park food, not too shabby.

I will definitely be heading for that pierogi shack next time though!!

You know who else eats pizza with a knife and fork....

[youtu_be]

Don't be a dick like that guy. Don't use a fork.

Storm Runner is also incredible. A little bit of Maverick, a little bit of Xcelerator. Loved it.

That's probably why I loved Storm Runner so much and it was my favorite at Hersheypark. The best elements of both Maverick and Xcelerator combined into one coaster.

Nice TR through PA. Back in 2014, on my drive from Philly to Harrisburg I also stopped at Valley Forge and really liked the place, being both scenic and historic. Hershey and Knoebels are my favorite parks that I've been to in the NE and along with Kennywood makes a really nice trio of parks in PA (although Kennywood is far away from the others). When I went to Knoebels and saw a glimpse of the campground I said to myself if I lived within an 8 hours driving distance of here I'd camp here. We have a lot of great campgrounds in the West but nothing like this with a homegrown amusement park attached to it. I also had a problem with the Cesari's Pizza in 2016 (not 2014 though) as one of my slices (I had two different types) was cold in the center and they had to put it back in the oven twice before it was good. With so many food choices in Knoebels, I would probably pick something different on my next visit there.

Whew! What a great report. It is always so wonderful to hear a first-timer's opinion of this place. Got me all hyped for my first PPP, now. Also, I'll likely be going with the wristband for the first time ever (for the coupon book), so I'll probably ride some things I haven't before (Paratrooper Roto Jets).

Day 8: Lower Those Standards

After the last four days of camping, it was time to pack up the tent and head to Allentown. I donated the camping gear to Goodwill there (no sense in a lightly used tent going to waste) and made my way over to Dorney Park.

Arriving at Dorney! I'll come back for Talon.

Nice looking carousel.

Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha! Lines.

The new hotness.

The sign for the new hotness.

Everyone loves a wave swinger.

I like these normally, but I don't want to get into a rental car soaked, so I passed.

First things first, I headed over to the Wild Mouse. It was a Wild Mouse. The line was short.

My first taste of Dorney lines!

Hydra is beautiful

They've got one of these.

I see a hyper on the horizon.

Already passed the best part of the ride.

Two great reasons to go to Dorney

I liked this little plaza area.

The S&S drop tower. That third tower doesn't have a ride in it.

The reportedly far superior drop tower, but I'll never know.

Thunderhawk's station

Whip

Zephyr

Next I had to go for the park’s only Intamin, Possessed. It’s really great, just like all the others of this type. They never disappoint. Second best coaster in the park.

Here we are, the Intamin Impulse.

The lines were unbearable today.

Straight off the high from Possessed, I went over to Stinger, and it was here that Dorney began in earnest to encourage me to lower my standards. I loved Invertigo at Kings Island, but this one…ouch.

There were a few school groups at the park today. I still walked on nearly everything.

Okay, one bad coaster, no sweat. I’ll just head over to Steel Force. I always love Mamba and Wild Thing, this should be solid.

Line for Steel Force

It's hyper time!

Steel Force sucks. Okay, the Morgan hypers don’t have killer airtime, but they do have some, and they have a good sense of speed too. Steel Force…just…doesn’t. It’s not painful, but it’s not good. At all. In any way.

Two bad coasters in a row, bad luck. I’ll hit up Thunderhawk next, it’s gotta be good. You don’t keep a coaster around 90 years if it sucks.

I legitimately loved this path in the middle of Thunderhawk. This is great.

Nice flyby area.

Time for some classic wood!

These lines...

Alfundo the Clown credit!

Motherf*cker! This things sucks too! It’s slow, has very little air (though notably more than Steel Force, at least), and it’s rough as hell the whole way.

All right, I gotta go on something good quick. I hit up the whip, and it was great! 3/3 on full-size whips this trip. Love these rides, and I really wish I had one closer to me.

When every other ride in the park sucks, you must whip it.

I went over to the Zephyr next and enjoyed a nice classic ride from back when Dorney was actually a good park. Really enjoyable.

Okay, there's still the train.

The classic Dorney rides energized me again, and it was time to do what I came to do: Demon Drop.

It was down. All day.

I hate you, Dorney. I hate you so much.

Drop tower!

Grr....

There are only two things that can cure this sort of devastation: alcohol and log flumes. Given that I had to turn in my rental car this afternoon in Philly, I decided to get lunch at Chickie’s and Pete’s sans alcohol and then hit up the log flume.

Lunch time! I picked the bad Chickie's and Pete's.

Love this flume. Love it.

Timber Creek Mountain was great! I mean really great. It goes up the side of an actual hill, then tools around a bit up there before plunging back down the hill. Fantastic flume.

I had passed on the two B&Ms earlier because I was apparently on a quest to go ride everything at Dorney that sucks, so I went to Hydra next. I was eagerly anticipating this one, since the jojo roll looked just so cool. That part of the ride is, in fact, very cool. The second half of the ride should be replaced with a brake run. Really, it should just end there. Instead it meanders at slow speeds and doesn’t do anything.

Back to the magic dragon

These lines, they're so bad.

I needed to consult my interior voice.

INTERIOR VOICE: Why hast thou summoned me, human?

ME: Aren’t you human too?

INTERIOR VOICE: Yes.

ME: Okay.

INTERIOR VOICE: Ask thy question, ere I grow impatient.

ME: Fine. How do I enjoy Dorney Park?

INTERIOR VOICE: There is but one way: Lower thy standards. Thou wilt not find pleasure if thy standards be equal to Knoebels or Hershey, nay, e’en the standards of Great Adventure be too high. Thou must expect Lakemont, then wilt thou be impressed by Dorney.

ME: Expect Lakemont? But that’s impossible!

INTERIOR VOICE: Thou must find a way. Thou wilt find a way. (image dissolves, then disappears)

ME: Okay, I can do this.

I walked over to Dorney’s other train, passing the good Chickie’s and Pete’s that I should have eaten at. Oh well. I summoned all the mediocrity within me and confidently stepped onto the train.

Train time! Again!

It suc—

I mean, it’s wasn’t ba—

It was good!

Oh man, that hurts. I don’t think I can do this.

INTERIOR VOICE: Be thou honest, and yet with expectations low.

Okay, the train was…exactly what I expected from Dorney.

INTERIOR VOICE: Thou hast learned well, padawan.

ME: Thanks, Interior Voice! I don’t know what I would have done without you.

And with that, I rode Talon.

Maybe it was my newfound properly lowered expectations, but Talon was really good! I rode in the back row first, then went around immediately for a re-ride in the front. I could have ridden it more, but it was time to head back to Philly and turn my car in.

Two boats! I love how photogenic these rides are.

The other new hotness

The other new hotness sign

And the best ride here to end the day

All things considered, I don’t think I’ll be going back to Dorney, even having missed the one ride I really wanted to do there. Everything else on this trip was great, but this one…I can’t really justify going back. If you do go, make sure you lower those expectations. Just lower them. If you think your standards are low enough, they’re too high, and you need to lower them. Expect Lakemont, and Dorney will be great!

Best - Advice - Ever!

"Lower Those Standards"

Great TR Andrew! You really covered a lot on this tour.

And I do like the idea of the "portable tent" idea, for camping nearby at certain parks.

Great idea to donate it to Goodwill, etc. Did you have all "the rest of the gear"

(pillows, sleeping bag, etc.) with you, to do this?

I think you need to make an "Instant You-Are-There Camping List" Advisory here, so others may follow.

The travel pillow I had, but I bought a sleeping bag and tent in Harrisburg. Cheaper than paying airline fees for bringing them from home, plus someone else can benefit from it now (and might already be doing so).

^ Noted, thanks. Sighs. So handsome and yet....so dumb.

^ Noted, thanks. Sighs. So handsome and yet....so interesting.

Fixed that for you.

^ Actually, I've seen the commercials with him in them. He's so full of himself..... yeah, interesting.

P.S. Shout out to good writers of commercials! I love the little mini-movies that Stella Artois does, by the way.

Eh, it's a good beer. There are worse ways to advertise it.

^ Oh, I said I enjoyed the commercials.

The beer itself? I agree - it's okay.

By the way, did you discover any new fave brews in your park trip travels?

Best - Advice - Ever!

 

"Lower Those Standards"

Visit Dorney before Knoebels. You won't be as disappointed. FTFY