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Chiapas!

 

Chiapas Chiapas Chiapas!

 

Chiapas, with it’s crazy Mayan theming, complete with “Day of the Dead” skulls and a “rave room,” is the best flume ride I’ve experienced in years (right up there with the Disney’s Splash Mountains and Knott’s log ride).

 

It's one of my favorite rides from the entire trip, and definitely my favorite non-coaster. Plus, it's in the Mexico area, which is simply stunning all-around. I should have gone on that a few more times, rather than Temple of the Boring-Coaster-in-Complete-Darkness and Hollywood-on-Meth Tour.

 

This was a fun park that I'd love to spend some more time in, especially with that Intamin thing that just went up.

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Chapter 7

Not to Be Confused with a Park in Indiana--Holiday Park

 

We checked out of Phantasialand’s Hotel Matamba, and even as the bus pointed toward Europa Park, there remained one very important matter; a loose end, if you will. This was the question of the BEST FREAKIN’ STEEL COASTER IN THE WORLD: Holiday Park’s Expedition GeForce! This huge, twisted mass of pure metallic glory is still Intamin’s greatest creation, at least to me. This was my first time riding it since 2008, and it hadn’t lost a single, airtime-filled step. All rides should age this well.

 

But while GeForce still dominates Holiday Park, the place has plenty to offer. The Plopsa chain had assumed control of the park since my last visit and has been giving it more of a family focus. This brought about a few trade offs. For example, the park’s entrance, which as I recall was pretty plain back in 2008, looks much better now, with its fanciful castle gate and European village shopping area. The park’s setting is as pretty as ever, the food is quite good, and Super Wirbel, the Vekoma Loopscrew from the bowels of Satan, is gone--yay!

 

Then there is the case of Burg Falkenstein, the park’s dark-ride tour of medieval depravity. Many of you are probably aware that this ride featured torture, drinking, and sex--complete with bare breasts.

 

Sigh! Those were the days.

 

Well, Plopsa has decided that such goings on aren’t suitable for children; the woman no longer pulls down her dress and flashes the guests. In fact, a lot of the old figures don’t move at all, which is sad for a once very cool ride. But they still have scenes of torture, so we can take solace in that, right?

 

The theming of the park’s newest coaster, Sky Scream, does go against this “family focus” a bit, thanks to some nice surprise horror effects in the queue and even outside the gift shop. As for the ride itself, this Premier launched shuttle is a blast. It seems to have a bit more “snap” than Tempesto, its slightly bigger cousin at Busch Gardens Williamsburg. We had a great ERT/filming session on this ride.

 

The park treated us very well that day, and the evening ERT on GeForce was, of course, amazing. It was a great day at Holiday Park.

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Plopsa is definitely upgrading Holiday Park’s image.

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The entrance is a bit “Europa like.”

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Of course, there is a bit of a problem with Vikings and bees. Both can give you a nasty sting (or a chop, if the Viking has an ax).

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I really like what Plopsa has done with this part of the park.

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They even require guests to hose themselves off before entering.

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This is all well and good, but we know why we’re really here, don’t we?

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I’m convinced that Intamin had a team of mad scientists in some Transylvanian castle design this monster.

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“Throw the third switch, Ygor!”

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“No! Not the third switch!”

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“Life! Life, do you hear me? Give my creation life! And airtime! And crazy laterals!”

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Captain America punched out Hitler to free the German people to enjoy GeForce!

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Yeah, you might say I’m a fan.

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I like this park’s woodsy setting; John, however, seems to find it distressing.

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New hotness/Old and busted.

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Come on, Super Wirbel! Send a train! I need this shot!

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The theming of Sky Scream doesn’t seem all that “family friendly.”

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I guess kids love sexy vampires?

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All kids love Fear Snack. Yummy, tasty Fear Snack.

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And what kid wouldn’t want to play Basketball Fear and win scary bananas?

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Fear Bakery makes the scariest brownies anywhere! Kids love scary brownies and creepy cookies!

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There’s even a Fear Queue. Hello, kiddies!

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So, unless I miss my guess, the operative word of this attraction is “fear.”

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I think these people would agree with me.

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Hey, the hot vampire chick has a sweet ride.

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Of course, her chauffeur leaves a bit to be desired.

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This is a bit more interesting than Tempesto’s theming.

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This is Holiday Park's idea of a New England lighthouse. Well. I like Star Flyers, so it works for me.

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“Ugh! I ate too much Fear Snack.”

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“A Viking can never have enough Fear Snack! You might say we snack on fear and dine on death! Oh, have fun, kids!"

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I rode this. It was a new credit to me. It was painful.

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Others rode this. Not my thing, but Robb really got it to flip--a lot. More to come.

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More from the home of Expedition GeForce.

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Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate the beauty of nature . . . Christ, a bee!

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O mighty GeForce . . . slay the bee!

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There can never be enough pictures of GeForce.

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I mean, look at all these happy people.

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We will now take a break from GeForce to show you two Vikings in a convertible.

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Whither, Burg Falkenstein? Let’s see . . .

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Torture good.

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Boobs bad.

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“Aye, I miss the boobies, I do.”

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Don’t worry. You can still be slaughtered and eaten by this dragon.

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We now return to Expedition GeForce, which is already in progress.

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All is well again . . .

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. . . even for those poor souls who were sucked into some sort of inter-dimensional vortex.

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I shall leave you with this warning.

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Beware the Intamin cable! It may come for you! Quick! Flee to Europa!

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Forget the lousy bee in the flower, the park was filled with man eating mosquitos!!!! Seriously, it was bad, so many bites. These were the mosquitos that also hurt when they bit you, felt like a mini-stabbing every time. Poor KT and I were running around in circles during ERT to try and keep the mosquitos off of us.

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Forget the lousy bee in the flower, the park was filled with man eating mosquitos!!!! Seriously, it was bad, so many bites. These were the mosquitos that also hurt when they bit you, felt like a mini-stabbing every time. Poor KT and I were running around in circles during ERT to try and keep the mosquitos off of us.

 

Hi Elissa, (gulp) I can't believe that me, a demon, is trying to be helpful... (gulp) do you have bug repellent? There are a few ones in the UK that are good, so next time you have a stop over in England, say hello and find yourself some flippin' insect repellent! Just lookin' out for yah and oh my god my inner demon is crying right now. not being mean. it's just a persona. or so you like to think... But seriously, you should get insect repellent spray which can be found in bottles like sunblock, works a charm on mosquitoes, flies and the ants that HURT. I recommend Nivea (the powder blue and orange bottles).

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^I am a mosquito magnet so I'm well aware of bug spray and have used it in the past but didn't expect to need it that day so didn't have any on or with me as we had not had any other issues in Europe up until that day (and then after!).

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Forget the lousy bee in the flower, the park was filled with man eating mosquitos!!!! Seriously, it was bad, so many bites. These were the mosquitos that also hurt when they bit you, felt like a mini-stabbing every time. Poor KT and I were running around in circles during ERT to try and keep the mosquitos off of us.

 

Yeah, they nailed me a few times, too, but they were more interested in you and KT. You might want to stay away from the Assateague Lighthouse on Virginia's Eastern Shore--the leopard mosquitoes there are psychotic!

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Forget the lousy bee in the flower, the park was filled with man eating mosquitos!!!! Seriously, it was bad, so many bites. These were the mosquitos that also hurt when they bit you, felt like a mini-stabbing every time. Poor KT and I were running around in circles during ERT to try and keep the mosquitos off of us.

 

Yeah, they nailed me a few times, too, but they were more interested in you and KT. You might want to stay away from the Assateague Lighthouse on Virginia's Eastern Shore--the leopard mosquitoes there are psychotic!

 

Oh god... We already have one blood sucker here that causes tons of pain (Hello!), we don't want to know about these 'leopard mosquitoes'!

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This was the question of the BEST FREAKIN’ STEEL COASTER IN THE WORLD: Holiday Park’s Expedition GeForce! This huge, twisted mass of pure metallic glory is still Intamin’s greatest creation, at least to me. This was my first time riding it since 2008, and it hadn’t lost a single, airtime-filled step. All rides should age this well.

 

I could not have been more excited for this coaster, which always forces the question -- will it be as good as anticipated? Will it live up to the hype? It did, zero question about it.

 

Plus, we only almost broke it that one time at the top of the lift.

 

Forget the lousy bee in the flower, the park was filled with man eating mosquitos!!!!

 

It's 'cause the park's new mascot is a bee, right? Insects stick together.

 

You might want to stay away from the Assateague Lighthouse on Virginia's Eastern Shore--the leopard mosquitoes there are psychotic!

 

And I'm seriously thinking of going there on a trip east in a couple weeks, so maybe it's me that's psychotic.

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^Unlike your average bloodsuckers with wings, leopard mosquitoes will chase you for a long ways, singing their "war song" as they go. Their sting feels like you're getting stuck with a hypodermic needle. I think they're also called Asian tiger mosquitoes.

 

Ha! I'd forgotten about our very slow lift-hill ascent. Fortunately, it wasn't a long-term issue.

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^Unlike your average bloodsuckers with wings, leopard mosquitoes will chase you for a long ways, singing their "war song" as they go. Their sting feels like you're getting stuck with a hypodermic needle. I think they're also called Asian tiger mosquitoes.

 

Ha! I'd forgotten about our very slow lift-hill ascent. Fortunately, it wasn't a long-term issue.

 

I wouldn't call them leopard mosquitoes or Asian tiger mosquitoes - they only attack when either provoked or hungry. Come to think of it, okay then. Man, Transylvania screws up the brain.

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Hi Elissa, (gulp) I can't believe that me, a demon, is trying to be helpful... (gulp) do you have bug repellent? There are a few ones in the UK that are good, so next time you have a stop over in England, say hello and find yourself some flippin' insect repellent! Just lookin' out for yah and oh my god my inner demon is crying right now. not being mean. it's just a persona. or so you like to think... But seriously, you should get insect repellent spray which can be found in bottles like sunblock, works a charm on mosquitoes, flies and the ants that HURT. I recommend Nivea (the powder blue and orange bottles).

 

What... the... f......

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you wouldn't understand...

 

those who don't understand must kneel down anyway...

 

damn it it happened again

 

NO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. THIS IS A SITE FOR HUMANS, NOT DEMONS. POST IS IF YOU ARE DEMON AGAIN AND YOU WILL BE BANNED.

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Many of you are probably aware that this ride featured torture, drinking, and sex--complete with bare breasts.

 

You had me at bare breasts...but the other stuff sounds pretty fun too. Thank you for another witty and entertaining TR. Love the landscaping at this park.

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you wouldn't understand...

 

those who don't understand must kneel down anyway...

 

damn it it happened again

 

NO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. THIS IS A SITE FOR HUMANS, NOT DEMONS. POST IS IF YOU ARE DEMON AGAIN AND YOU WILL BE BANNED.

 

 

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Also if haven't mentioned it I love this report and all your reports Chuck!

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