Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Electerik » Sat Apr 30, 2011 5:18 pm

One of Smisty's stated life-goals is to visit every Ripley's Believe It or Not Odditorium/Museum in the world. Of course, we've already shown you the one in St. Augustine earlier in this thread, and the one in Gatlinburg in the old Smoky Mountain thread. (And we still have one in Key West to show you as well.) But we actually visited the one in Orlando early last year--I've just been sitting on the photos because they seemed to be missing something. But what?

And then it hit me! What we needed was someone who hates Ripley's museums to really put this report over the top. And that person is freshly-returned-to-Orlando TPR celebrity Bryan Stoll! He and I visited just last week, but through some photographic wizardry, I intend to convince you that all three of us hung out together on the same day.

(Actually, that's just the cover story. The sad truth of that matter is that Bryan emailed me a bunch of photos of himself visiting Ripley's and asked me to make it look like he was hanging out with us. I guess Adam was busy. But that's just between you and me, kind reader.)

Believe It or Not!
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Oh, crap! What happened?? I hope they're still open!
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Oh, right...theming.
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"I am a horse made out of horseshoes. Which is so lame that you don't even have to pay to get in to see me!"
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This is actually the first Ripley's we've visited that was all one level.
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Bryan, no! That's his dingus!
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Meanwhile, Smisty is buying tickets. AT THE EXACT SAME TIME that Bryan was being perverted.

I have two cameras.
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"Hello. I am dead."

That was really stupid, but it made me laugh when I typed it.
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This entire portrait was created using nothing but nail polish! Which I found really impressive until "Ripley's-hater" Bryan pointed out that nail polish is really just a type of paint.
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This is, like, some stuff. I dunno, I guess it was unbelievable or something.
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Here we see Bryan falling for the oldest trick in Ripley's book: Hey, make silly faces in front of this "mirror!"
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Smisty points out the penis sheaths while making a face that I now have to somehow come up with a funny caption for.

"Hey, is that your penis sheath, or did a Jaragua Lizard shed its skin? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"
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Effing holograms, how do they work?
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Wall-E, made out of trash. Which is actually kind of appropriate. Because he's, like, a trash robot. Okay.
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Uh-oh, this trick gate isn't gonna make Bryan like Ripley's any better.
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No, no, that's a good look for you.
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NOTHING IMPRESSES BRYAN

Meanwhile, my brain is reciting: "Now old Sam had two rules when he played pool. This first: You always bet all your money. And the second: Sam always got the first shot."
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The standard man-hanging-by-his-nipples exhibit.
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Bryan and I really bonded over this skull, and we are now best friends. (I actually wanted to call it a "bro-mance," but Bryan said no.)
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The beauty and frustration of Ripley's is that it can in no way be considered educational, because anything and everything there might simply be fake. "Believe It or Not! We Don't Care!"
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Bryan refused to pose with the world's fattest man. I am not sure why.
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So this is, like, The Terminator. But he has a a bunch of other pop culture icons on him. Or something. Okay, I really have no idea what's going on here.
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Bryan thinks this is fake. But I say it's clearly made from ver.
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The Last Supper, made entirely from pocket lint. Which I found really impressive until Bryan pointed out that lint is really just a kind of thread.
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Some Star Wars crap, a tiny rhino, and a porn star or something--ALL MADE FROM HUMAN SALIVA!!!
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Droid crotch!!!

("Hey dude, I think we found your penis sheath.")
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"I would really rather not be next to the crotch droid."
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At least try to look scared for the photo, Smisty.
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"Nope, I'm not falling for that. I know a two-way mirror when I see one. And I'm only seven."
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"Now that you realize what a fool we've made you look like, come give us money to make a fake photo of you. You can trust us this time, honest."
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Um....
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That's actually really believable. Ripley's, you have failed me!
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Now that I've seen a man shove a snake up his nose, none of this stuff bothers me.
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"If you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further."
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We were all there at the same time.
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Robert Wardlow was so tall, he could only be measured in bed pans. (Yet he was still shorter than a single Goodyear tire!)
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"I am a horse made out of human shoes. I am worthy of being indoors."
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Dogs are weird.
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What could be scarier than a little kid with a rifle?
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"Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless."
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This is Misty's passionate face. We sleep in the dark.
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This guy really went to a lot of trouble to draw attention to his nipples.
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And this is Bryan's passionate face. Or so he says. I would not know. WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF???
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Spinning tunnel is spinny.
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My passionate face. What can I say? I get excited by deformed souvenirs.

Well, that's it for Ripley's Believe It Or Not in Orlando. For more big time Florida fun, make sure to check out The Bryan and Adam Show Thread at http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=45969
Last edited by Electerik on Sun May 01, 2011 4:33 pm.
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby cfc » Sat Apr 30, 2011 5:30 pm

The lamest Ripley's is probably in Williamsburg. Believe it or not!

Or if you're a fan of the old Jack Palance series, "Believe it or else!"
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Not For Sale » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:03 pm

Weird, this wasn't how I remembered it. Oh well, good thing we took pictures (I took the most pictures)
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby jedimaster1227 » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:11 pm

I do NOT approve! :x

I hereby decree that the next episode of Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures will have 250% more Adam and 5000.33333% less Bryan. My will be done.
Change the scheme, Alter the mood! Electrify the boys and girls if you would be so kind!

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby Electerik » Sun May 01, 2011 7:38 am

jedimaster1227 wrote:I hereby decree that the next episode of Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures will have 250% more Adam and 5000.33333% less Bryan.


Well, I'm no math wizard, but I'm pretty sure that 5000.33333% less of anything greater than zero is still something, and 250% more of zero is still nothing. So that should work out fine, since I still have two more Bryan-oriented updates waiting in the wings! (Including one that will change the way you view athletic competition forever.)

Still, we should definitely hang out. How do you feel about The Titanic?
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby rosscoe » Sun May 01, 2011 7:57 am

I have never understood the American fascination with Ripleys, it's up there with Cars 2 from Disney!
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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby BarryH » Sun May 01, 2011 1:29 pm

^^Yes, do Titanic! I've been waiting for you to do it over the past like 5 seconds.

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby tiger01 » Sun May 01, 2011 1:35 pm

The Ripleys museum in Blackpool looks cool but I never went in. :( However I went into Impossible in the park which was free of charge and had a mini Hex ride in there. :)
I quit my job at the helium factory last week...I refused to be spoken to in that tone!

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby jedimaster1227 » Sun May 01, 2011 2:36 pm

Electerik wrote:Still, we should definitely hang out. How do you feel about The Titanic?


I would consider it...
Change the scheme, Alter the mood! Electrify the boys and girls if you would be so kind!

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Re: Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

Postby disneyfan1313 » Sun May 01, 2011 3:17 pm

Bryan - I am with you. I don't even remotely understand the fascination with Ripley's either. We can both be unimpressed cynics together.
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