by cfc » Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:02 pm
Prologue: Critters and Countryside
G'day,
As most of you probably know, unless you've been curled up in a ball, sobbing quietly waiting for your home park to open, Theme Park Review returned from an amazing tour of Australia on April 4. For me, this was number six in a long line of TPR "official" trips, dating back to the original UK outing in 2006. One thing you have to say about Robb and Elissa is that they sure get around--and they can help you get around, too. But I think this is the first trip I've been on in which all the parks and coaster credits were new to them, as well.
First off, Australia is an amazing, beautiful country, with friendly people, good food (pepper kangaroo pizza, anyone?), and unusual animals (and, no, I'm not just talking about TPR members, either). I've always wanted to visit Down Under, and when TPR announced a trip for 2011, I knew I had to be on it. Good planning, good people, good times--what more do you want?
"How about good parks?" you may ask. We found those, too. I've noticed that many of our Aussie members tend to be a bit, well, sheepish when it comes to their local theme parks, as though they're a bit embarrassed about them. Mates, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Although they're few in number (and coaster credits) compared to the U.S. and other countries, the Australian parks are solid, with a good mix of attractions for thrillseekers and families alike. (Heck, you even have the tallest drop tower in the world!)
But that's enough verbiage for now. Put on your hat, turn up the brim, and keep an eye open for cassawaries and crocs as TPR explores Australia.
Let's start with Aussie animals and scenery first, shall we? We'll get to the parks soon enough.
-

- This is a bunch of people standing in the Sydney airport. I thought it best to explain this, lest the suspense builds to such a point that you have have a "conniption," or worse.
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- Well, the waiting has paid off! Here we are at our first encounter with wacky, sometimes dangerous, Australian wildlife. Featherdale is a very nice wildlife park in suburban Sydney, which gives you a chance to get up close with a variety of animals--not all of whom want to kill you.
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Hello. I'm a koala, and I'm adorable. You know this to be true. But this is New South Wales, where it's illegal to hold me. Suffer!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "G'day, mate. You're lookin' a bit jetlagged there, but there's an old Aussie cure for that: touchin' a koala's bum. Yeah, one touch of that bum and those magical marsupial powers will perk you right up! Well, that and a shave, maybe."
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- The koala shows off its greatest skill next to eating leaves.
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "G'day! I'm a kangaroo, and you're goin' to be seein' a lot of us roos as this and other TRs grind on. Just givin' ya fair dinkum warnin'."
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- In the wild, a kangaroo would have to hunt and kill its own ice-cream cone. This is often a disturbing, bloody occurence, but not to worry--this cone was already dead.
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Lay off my cone, man! I'll cut you! I swear to god I'll cut you!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "And that goes for you humans! I gotta blade, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- And now that timeless Dr. Suess classic, "Amyzoo Strokes a Roo."
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- Passing a cone can be very painful. This kangaroo is obviously exhausted from the strain.
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Emu? What emu . . . ohcrapohcrapohcrap!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "First of you lot who calls me 'Bilbo Baggins' or some other Hobbit crap just because I live in a hole gets peed on. Fair warnin'. You want Hobbits? Go to New Zealand."
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "The children of the night"--in broad daylight.
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Yeah, just stick your hand in here, and I'll show you how frickin' cute a Tasmanian devil is!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Am I not superb?"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Er, yeah, I guess you are at that."
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Still got my blade! Still watchin' you! Get me a freakin' cone!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Wanna hear that horrible rumbling sound I make before I kill? You'd better pray that you don't!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "'Superb parrot,' my butt! Hell, my butt is way more superb than that little twerp."
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "You what would really be superb? You in my mouth begging for your miserable life!"
- Viewed 3594 times
-

- "Ugh! Sorry, folks. That baby I just ate isn't sitting well."
Next stop: Scenic World
- Viewed 3594 times
Last edited by
cfc on Wed May 18, 2011 6:15 pm.