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Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

UPDATE: Merimbula's Magic Mountain, p. 9
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Archived Photo Trip Reports of Theme Parks, Roller Coasters, and Donkeys!
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Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby cfc » Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:02 pm

Prologue: Critters and Countryside
G'day,
As most of you probably know, unless you've been curled up in a ball, sobbing quietly waiting for your home park to open, Theme Park Review returned from an amazing tour of Australia on April 4. For me, this was number six in a long line of TPR "official" trips, dating back to the original UK outing in 2006. One thing you have to say about Robb and Elissa is that they sure get around--and they can help you get around, too. But I think this is the first trip I've been on in which all the parks and coaster credits were new to them, as well.

First off, Australia is an amazing, beautiful country, with friendly people, good food (pepper kangaroo pizza, anyone?), and unusual animals (and, no, I'm not just talking about TPR members, either). I've always wanted to visit Down Under, and when TPR announced a trip for 2011, I knew I had to be on it. Good planning, good people, good times--what more do you want?

"How about good parks?" you may ask. We found those, too. I've noticed that many of our Aussie members tend to be a bit, well, sheepish when it comes to their local theme parks, as though they're a bit embarrassed about them. Mates, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Although they're few in number (and coaster credits) compared to the U.S. and other countries, the Australian parks are solid, with a good mix of attractions for thrillseekers and families alike. (Heck, you even have the tallest drop tower in the world!)

But that's enough verbiage for now. Put on your hat, turn up the brim, and keep an eye open for cassawaries and crocs as TPR explores Australia.

Let's start with Aussie animals and scenery first, shall we? We'll get to the parks soon enough.
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This is a bunch of people standing in the Sydney airport. I thought it best to explain this, lest the suspense builds to such a point that you have have a "conniption," or worse.
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Well, the waiting has paid off! Here we are at our first encounter with wacky, sometimes dangerous, Australian wildlife. Featherdale is a very nice wildlife park in suburban Sydney, which gives you a chance to get up close with a variety of animals--not all of whom want to kill you.
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"Hello. I'm a koala, and I'm adorable. You know this to be true. But this is New South Wales, where it's illegal to hold me. Suffer!"
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"G'day, mate. You're lookin' a bit jetlagged there, but there's an old Aussie cure for that: touchin' a koala's bum. Yeah, one touch of that bum and those magical marsupial powers will perk you right up! Well, that and a shave, maybe."
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The koala shows off its greatest skill next to eating leaves.
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"G'day! I'm a kangaroo, and you're goin' to be seein' a lot of us roos as this and other TRs grind on. Just givin' ya fair dinkum warnin'."
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In the wild, a kangaroo would have to hunt and kill its own ice-cream cone. This is often a disturbing, bloody occurence, but not to worry--this cone was already dead.
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"Lay off my cone, man! I'll cut you! I swear to god I'll cut you!"
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"And that goes for you humans! I gotta blade, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
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And now that timeless Dr. Suess classic, "Amyzoo Strokes a Roo."
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Passing a cone can be very painful. This kangaroo is obviously exhausted from the strain.
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"Emu? What emu . . . ohcrapohcrapohcrap!"
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"First of you lot who calls me 'Bilbo Baggins' or some other Hobbit crap just because I live in a hole gets peed on. Fair warnin'. You want Hobbits? Go to New Zealand."
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"The children of the night"--in broad daylight.
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"Yeah, just stick your hand in here, and I'll show you how frickin' cute a Tasmanian devil is!"
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"Am I not superb?"
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"Er, yeah, I guess you are at that."
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"Still got my blade! Still watchin' you! Get me a freakin' cone!"
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"Wanna hear that horrible rumbling sound I make before I kill? You'd better pray that you don't!"
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"'Superb parrot,' my butt! Hell, my butt is way more superb than that little twerp."
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"You what would really be superb? You in my mouth begging for your miserable life!"
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"Ugh! Sorry, folks. That baby I just ate isn't sitting well."

Next stop: Scenic World
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Last edited by cfc on Wed May 18, 2011 6:15 pm.
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby SharkTums » Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:08 pm

LOL! I knew the trip was off to a good start when an Aussie animal (emu) already tried to kill one of our participants (Dan)on day one!

Can't wait to see more!
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby cfc » Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:28 pm

Our next stop was a stetch of temperate rainforest in Australia's Blue Mountains--a very beautiful spot with the not-so-clever name of Scenic World. (Looks like they saved all the interesting names for the animals.)
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These are the Three Sisters. There's a rather long and involved legend behind this name. It doesn't involve Elves, Orcs, or Hobbits.
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RIP, Orphan Rocker. This is the infamous coaster that opened for about 10 or 15 minutes, then closed forever because it was, let's say,"flawed." Apparently, running a roller coaster along the edge of a 700-foot cliff didn't work out too well.
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At Scenic World, Australia's got your crotch covered.
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"What shall we call this place, mate?"
"Dunno. Sure is scenic."
"Hey, there's an idea!"
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Here is the first "Jeff Johnson Credit" of the trip: the Scenic Railway. Of Scenic World.
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Good. A plastic chain. I feel much safer now!
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The Scenic Railway is a lot of fun, if a bit unnerving.
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Not to mention "scenic."
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Now how steep is that track?
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Fifty-two degrees worth of steep! And that "Natural Tunnel" is pretty damn dark! There was a coal mine here, and they used to haul out the coal via this railway.
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Here's our guide, Robert, in action, telling us about the temperate rainforest we're about to tour. He and the bus driver has some interesting political conversations, too (it was the day before Election Day in Australia).
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Here, we see KT rehearsing for her performance in the upcoming Australian Outback Spectacular.
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Yes, this is the life for a man--astride his faithful horse, hauling a big load of crap.
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There's something very Knott's Berry Farm-like about this scene.
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"Intamin Cable: The Early Years."
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"Lord, what are those crazy Yanks about now?"
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Did I mention this area was very scenic? I think that's why they call it "Scenic World." Just a hunch.
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Why do I keep looking for Tarzan to come swinging by? He's in Africa, and this is Australia. I should be looking for Crocodile Dundee or Lord Humongous.
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Back up via the Intamin Cableway.
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The poor Orphan Rocker train does look very lonely down there.
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It'll take a big crew with a lot of machetes to clear that track. It's nearly as overgrown as Disneyland's Peoplemover and probably stands a better chance of running again. ;)
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Vaya con dios, Orphan Rocker! By the way, this ride was named for the park's Orphan Rock formation--the gondola runs right by it.
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Scenic World--What a great place! This trip is off to a great start. Next up will be Sydney and Luna Park.
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Last edited by cfc on Mon Apr 11, 2011 6:13 pm.
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby Paul_Hollibone » Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:55 pm

Hi Chuck.
Nice first day you guys had! I'll be reading this one very closely.
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby jray21 » Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:32 pm

Awesome report! I love the captions! Can't wait to see more.
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby amyzoo » Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:10 pm

Great TR to start off a great trip!
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby Philrad71 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 4:16 pm

Great report, Chuck...can't wait to see more!

I'm still waiting to see one of those kooky, crazy looking Australian spiders! ;)
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby larrygator » Tue Apr 12, 2011 5:23 pm

Looking forward to future updates.
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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby ratdogg68 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:59 pm

Great report so far, can't wait for more.
Let the Riding begin

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Re: Photo TR: Chuck Goes Down Under with TPR

Postby rollin_n_coastin » Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:39 am

Seriously, who needs Frommers and Michellin guides? Your TRs cover so much more! It's just amazing how innocent looking animals can mean put an end to us... :omg:
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