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TPR's 2009 Scandinavian Tour--UPDATE: Linnanmaki
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Postby cfc » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:39 pm

The Space Corps.

It's not just a job.

It's a chance to kill giant bugs on an obscure rock in the middle of the galaxy of Andromeda for very low pay, but a cool uniform.

Back to Linnanmaki.
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And now, a demonstration of what happens when a very heavy rolling object encounters water.
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This is the "very heavy rolling object."
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This is the "water."
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This is the "heavy rolling object" displacing the "water."
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Isn't science fun?
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"Yes, I'm always pleased to do my bit for science. Now, where's the bar?"
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This is Finnish for "buckshot penis."
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See?
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Hmm--you folks looked like you enjoyed that way too much.
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"Hello, I'm Carl Sagan. And this is the Cosmos! It's all inside this little building! I swear!"
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Welcome to the futuristic year 400,000,000,000!
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No sign of Stitch, thank god.
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Remember, you break the reactor core, you bought it--capeesh?
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Ready for blast-off, eager young space cadet?
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Hmm--never ridden one of these before.
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Scarier than it looks, actually.
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But here's something that's scarier yet.
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Yes, in my nightmares, ringmasters whip clowns.
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Oh, lord--it's a fetid fervor of funnymen.
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For those of you who are nostalgic for your last hernia operation.
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Clown flatulence smells like banana cream pie.
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Unfortunately, this does not.

We have a ways to go yet.
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Postby cfc » Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:09 pm

Joint the Space Corps! Fight meaningless wars on faraway worlds! Yes, join us and when your grandson asks you, "What did you do in the Great Galatic War II?" you won't have to say, "I shoveled dagget dung on Caprica."

And now, more Linnanmaki.
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The following attraction is in mega-exciting 3D!
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Behold! The world in 3D!
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If you were wearing 3D glasses right now, you'd be soiling your pants in horror!
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Go ahead! Put on some 3D glasses! We double-rat dare you!
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"Yer lookin' for the ghost train? Hard to starboard, mate!"
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Hmm--the skeleton in the tub said it was around here someplace.
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"Arr! Scurvy dog contractors! They never shows up when they sez they will! Cut off his dangling anchor chain and throw it to the sharks, sez I!"
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"Don't do that until after he fixes the roof."
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"Yes-I-am-the-Keeper-of-the-Gates-of-Hell-do-you-have-a-wristband?"
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"OK, stop us if you've heard this one. You see, we're ghosts! And we're on a . . . well, there's no reason to be rude!"
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"So, do you 'date'"?
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"Go for it, dude! Once you've made it with flesh-eating ghoul from the deepest bowels of Hell, you don't never want to go back!"
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"That was the most terrifying experience of my life!"
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Well, it's early yet.
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"I told Steve this was the greatest ride in history--and he totally bought it!"
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"But this is the greatest ride in history!"
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Can you make sense of this? I can't. I guess this was a giant-brine-shrimp ride at one time.
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"Somebody dust me, or I'm gonna drop this egg on a tourist! I'm not kidding, dammit!"
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Er, I think the cow and pig need a little privacy.
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Hmm--looks like Ebert and Siskel have split on this one.
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Once the chickens have outgrown their usefulness to Kot Kot, they are plucked, skinned, and given to the ghost train. One more set of pics to come.
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Postby cfc » Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:29 pm

Where else can you blast through hyperspace, be shot through a black hole, and then drop an H-bomb on an unsuspecting group of aliens who never did anything to you?

Why, the Space Corps!

Spread the goodwill of the Planet Earth all over the cosmos! Join the Corps today!

Aliens worlds will love us. Or we'll just blow them up.

One last look at Linnanmaki.
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Time for a sky tower's view of things.
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Of course, the plexiglass is in pretty rough shape. Sorry about that. But here's the whole woodie.
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Salama looks much cooler from up here.
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An interesting view of Kirnu.
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Some of Helsinki.
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And here's Erik before he was pecked to death by a sea gull.
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Looky, Scott! A state-of-the-art monorail!
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The mirror maze was merely 3D. Now behold the splendor of 4D!
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Q: Are we not men?
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A: We are DEVO!
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The last funhouse of the trip. Not as good as Grona Lund's, but not bad.
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This was the steepest of the tilted rooms, as I recall.
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Is my toast finished yet?
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Come on, boys! Feel the burn!
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I'm not sure if this picture is right side up. I guess it doesn't matter.
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Lord, I've put on some weight on this trip.
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Aw, Larry's choking his donkey.
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After experiencing the Dragon at Tivoli, I had no desire to ride a "tea cup" version of it.
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But a lot of people loved it.
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That's all from Linnanmaki. And from Scandinavia. Thank you, one and all, particularly Robb and Elissa, for another great vacation!
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Postby larrygator » Thu Aug 13, 2009 7:57 pm

I'm pretty sure Linnanmaki was also brought to us by the letter "K"
As usual, my analysis is free of charge!
Original enough to not steal someone else's quote as a signature

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