Photo TR: Chuck Looks Back at TPR's Europe Trip 2008

[cfcI've gone pantless!]

Chapter 10: What Michael Jackson Wishes Neverland Ranch Was Like?—Phantasialand
Phantasialand is the home of two important parts of TPR lore:

1. The Dragon Bar at the Hotel Ling Bao
2. The “Michael Jackson Thrill Ride”

Yes, Phantasialand was one of the most anticipated parks of the trip, and with good reason—it’s quite a place. This is where the Wild American West mingles with the mysteries of the Orient, the majesty of the African continent, the darkness of the Middle Ages, and the just plain weirdness of fairy tales. Very few parks are as immersive an experience as Phantasialand, especially if you stay at the Hotel Ling Bao.

The park’s coaster lineup is also pretty impressive, if rather eccentric (in all the right ways):

Winjas: Fear and Force—At first glance, Winjas appears to be an excellent indoor spinning mouse, but that damns it with faint praise. There are plenty of surprises hidden in the ride’s two dueling tracks, which I wouldn’t dream of revealing here. Winjas is wild and intense, yet very re-rideable. Everyone needs to check this sucker out at least once (or each track once, at least).

Black Mamba—I’ve read all the conflicting accounts about this B&M inverted, which range from “OMG! Best freakin’ thing ever!” to “Lame! Another forceless B&M.” As usual, the truth is in the middle somewhere. Mamba, while not the best B&M inverted (that would be Alton’s Nemesis, I think), is a very good ride with excellent themeing, which raises it up a notch.

Colorado Adventure (or “The Michael Jackson Thrill Ride”)—An excellent, well-themed mine train, with multiple lift hills and a very long layout. This was the best of its kind of the trip (until Big Thunder at Paris Disneyland). And, hey, it's endorsed by the King of Pop.

Temple of the Night Hawk—Yet another bizarre indoor coaster, with multiple (was it four?) lift hills. Basically, you plunge through darkness and past monitors showing green vector images of a bird of prey. If you’re a fan of the 1980s video game “Vortex,” this is the ride for you. And it’s a fun, if strange, experience.

The park’s dark rides are an eccentric lot, too. Silbermine is sort of like Pirates of the Caribbean, only with Mexican revolutionaries instead of buccaneers. Geister-Riskcha is a strange, haunted journey through Chinese myth (I think). And with it’s Peter Pan-style suspended gondolas, Gondelbahn 1001 Nacht explores the world of the Arabian nights. But, for my money, Hollywood Tour, a boat ride that’s a cheap knockoff of Disney’s Great Movie Ride in Florida, tops them all—it’s a hoot.

Mystery Castle (an indoor Frog Hopper on steroids), River Quest (a cool raft ride set in an old castle), and Talocan (a heavily themed Top Spin) aren’t to be missed, either.

And the ice cream is great, and it has a Roman vampire bat as a mascot. What more do you need?

[cfcI've gone pantless!]

Name your poison--fear or force?

[cfcI've gone pantless!]

Yes, Phantasialand--where the Wild West met Michael Jackson and fled in absolute terror!

[cfcI've gone pantless!]

One last look at Phantasialand.

[cfcI've gone pantless!]

Oops! Hit "submit" instead of "preview." Here are a few last shots.

[coaster05I prefer to mate with donkeys over humans!]

Man that is one flattering photo of me. Great Job Chuck keep it up.

[ginzoWhy do I still have a donkey title???]

Mmmm...Phantasialand. What I wouldn't give to be back at Hotel Ling Bao right now as opposed to being here at home getting ready for bed so I can attend some SUPER LAME training class at work in the morning.

[kraken613Ask me about being a pathological liar!!]

I really want to go to Phantasialand one day! I looks so amazing!

[giscoStarbucks Enthusiast]

Great Photo TR so far Chuck. I want to see who wins, Melanie or Kristie.

[cfcI've gone pantless!]

Chapter 11: The Napa Valley Needs to Try This--Tripsdrill

OK, here's the point where I stopped taking notes while I was in Europe. I guess I was too busy enjoying myself to bother with documentation. So, my memory may be a bit fuzzy on a lot of points.

Oh, well--these writeups are more of an academic exercise, anyway. Nobody reads them, right? They just go right to the pictures. So, if I were to write that Tripsdrill is overrun with psychotic beavers and muskrats with laser eyes, eight-inch fangs, and ravor-sharp whipping tales, no one would notice. Yes, if I were to claim that Tripsdrill was actually a brothel full of vampire hookers who use second-tier Hanna-Barbara characters (like Captain Caveman or Muttley) as their zombie slaves, no one would raise an eyebrow.

But I would never do that, of course.

Tripsdrill is a winery and a theme park rolled into one. In fact, if looks like the owner (or owners) of Tripsdrill had downed a cask or two of their own product, then started designing attractions. How else can you explain:

1. Wobbly-wheeled bicycles;
2. A flume ride with bathtub boats and naked women; and
3. Well, all kinds of random crap?

That being said, Tripsdrill is also a beautiful park and a fun place to wile away a day--with one really good coaster and two average ones:

G'sengte Sau--I've ridden two of the Gerstlauer Bobsled coasters (the other was Aqua Wind at Lagunasia in Japan). Both are great, and after some reflection, I think I like Tripsdrill's the best of the two, but not by much. There's a fair amount of airtime, and I like how the coaster zips around the building it shares with the flume ride.

Mammut--This woodie was a bit of a disappointment. From a distance, it looks like it should be great, but it's really kind of pokey and shuffles rather badly at times (but there is a nice bit with a tunnel)--and what's with that funky little drop just before the lifthill? Not a bad ride, but just OK.

Rasender TausendfuBler--A decent family coaster that gets really low to the ground.

So, Tripsdrill is sort of the Busch Gardens of Europe. Except instead of beer, they make wine. OK, so it's really nothing like Busch Gardens. Let's look around, shall we?