So, let's come clean here--what are your sick, twisted pleasures? Things that tickle you, yet are hated by others? What are your "guilty pleasures"?
Ah, yes--the movies of Edward D. Wood, Jr., the music of the Tubes, tater tots . . . I love 'em all, low brow or reviled as they are. So, allow me to take a little of your time by sharing my Top 5 Guilty Pleasures of TPR's UK Tour.
5. The Chicken Curry Jacket of Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach: Sure it looked like a potato that had been puked on by a giant condor, perhaps in preparation for feeding it to her hatchlings. But it was good, damn it!
4. The Rattlesnake at Chessington: Yes, this was one brutal, punishing steel wild mouse. It slammed you about on its hairpin turns, gave you cheap shots to the gut on its brake runs, and should've provided referrals to local chiropractors at the exit. But its very un-PC "Mexican" themeing was a riot, and it holds a special place in my heart as credit no. 50 (no. 100 was Thunder at Tusenfyrd, BTW).
3. X:\No Way Out at Thorpe: Yes, I know--it makes no sense at all, with its backwards course and stopping and starting and shimmying and shaking. Yet, I couldn't help but like the friggin' thing. The utter futility of the ride was just so oddly endearing and appealing, like a lost dog nobody wants. X achieves a level of stupidity that makes it a winner--the Plan 9 of coasters.
2. The Coney Beach Experience: Where else can you find the country charm of the midway of the Stanislaus County Fair in Turlock, Calif., along with the seaside ambience of the departed Long Beach Pike? All the rides at Coney Beach looked like they had done their time on the fun-fair circuit and had settled there to retire. The nice elderly couple who ran the "Faggots and Peas" stand sealed the deal here for me:
"So, ye want any mushy peas with your fish and chips?"
"Er, no thank you."
"Ah, afraid it'll give ye the wind, eh?"
The lack of certification for the rides was just icing on the cake. Coney Beach, I salute you.
1. The Pirate Adventure at Drayton Manor: This was actually a bright spot for me at Drayton, believe it or not (along with Apocalypse and The Haunting). Yes, it's a cheesy ripoff that lifts shamelessly from Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean; hell, it even stole the lame midride drop from the Florida version as well as the "Pepper's Ghost" effect from the Haunted Mansion. Yet, I wager that when this ride was new, it was pretty cool, and with a little TLC, could be cool again (as long as they remember to keep the exit doors shut).
Pics are next. Now, if you'll excuse me, some station somewhere must be showing Attack of the 50-Foot Woman (the original version with Allison Hayes, of course).
