Today Adam, Renee, and I went down to Disney's Hollywood Studios to do a quick lap of Star Wars Weekends. I gotta be honest, while I grew up with the first three films, knew them inside and out at one point in my life, even had a bunch of Star Wars toys as a young adult, the new films kinda killed the franchise for me, and I never even bothered to see Episode II or III.
That being said, there is still a part of me that is a closet "fan" of the original series, and I actually enjoyed this event more than I thought I would. Kind of brought out the inner Star Wars geek in me. And while part of me really enjoyed "poking fun at it" (especially at Adam), but honestly, I had a pretty good time overall, and the event was really well done! I wish we had more time to see the shows, but I have a feeling we'll be back before the event is over!
And the most enjoyable part of the day was Adam being Adam....
Yup! It's Star Wars Weekends! It's so popular they made an official logo!
Traffic getting into the park was kind of hell, but this is the price you have to pay to witness full grown adults dressing up like Jedi's. Worth every moment in line!
Turnstiles completely full. Don't worry...what you're about to see next makes up for the minor frustrations getting into the park!
Oh, Adam. A thousand naked girls couldn't make you more horny.
I know it looks JUST like him, and you'd totally expect it, but this isn't Adam. It's someone else. And he made Adam very, very jealous.
What do you think? Should we carbon freeze Adam or not? I mean, the choice here is pretty obvious!
The big difference between Han Solo and Adam...well, one, Han Solo is a man, and two, no one other than Adam's mother has said "I love you" to him.
"Hi, I'm told that I get 72 virgins if I let you carbon freeze me. Where do I sign up?"
Yeah.... nobody is ever going to get laid wearing this hat.
OH. MY. GOD!!! Major Star Wars secret revealed!!! R2D2 is made by Apple!!!
This is for both the Star Wars and the Muppets geeks!
"It's a salute to all nations...but mostly America." (Greatest single line in Muppet history!)
Just when you thought Adam would be the only one geeking out...
"Yeah, this makes me totally moist in the regions Adam will never discover!"
Would you believe it? The REAL reason we actually came to Star Wars weekends!
"At least this is better than the One More Disney Day Cupcakes!"
Adam, if there was ever a chick you'd have a chance with...it would be her...and she's still say no...she wants a Jedi, not an Ewok.
Stuff is going to happen on this stage eventually.
In the parade they had starships and Nicky Minaj.
Next week they walk in the Trunchbull parade! (Tyler will at least appreciate this one)
Why do I get the feeling these guys are NOT on their way to a swingers party?
"When I was a kid, I dreamed of saving Han Solo, just like Leia did" -Adam
Gas masks are required around Star Wars geeks.
LOL! I see what they did there!
Thanks to Star Wars....we kinda get to go backstage!
Yay! Back side of "Good Tower!"
Who are we kidding? We know Adam's house looks EXACTLY like this!
Inside Darth's Mall is everything you could buy that would guarantee you'll never get laid!
Who looks better in the "furry hat?" Adam or Renee? (Or should we get this for Gregg?)
Nerdy men are salivating all across the interwebz at this moment... (thanks Chad!)
Is it me, or does the hoodie *kinda* remind me of the sheep hoodies in this video: (And if you haven't seen this video yet, WATCH IT...you'll thank me later!)
YouTube Videolink
In a light saber battle to the death, who would win? Adam or Renee? VOTE NOW! Winner gets a severed arm!
"I'm pretty sure I can fit a family of Jawa's in this bag!" (Get it? Star Wars humor!)
Again, no sex with be coming to anyone sporting these items! Especially, and mostly Adam!!!
"Oh, I already have this...and mine was cheaper..." - Adam
All the Disney/Star Wars mash-up plush you could possibly ever want!
It's Renee's favourite! "Anal Probe Duffy!"
Renee is not in this picture because she just exploded with a Vinylgasm.
These are "light sabers." Yeah, uh...huh.... As though we don't know what the sexually depraved males will do with these.
You could get ANYTHING in an R2D2... Popcorn, churros, hot fat, fetuses, the head of Alfredo Garcia....
While I am totally poking fun at the show in my captions above, I was totally enjoying it...until we ran into this guy.
I don't know why, but I'm honestly completely creeped out and disturbed by this. While I know I shouldn't be "judgmental..."
THAT IS A TOY MADE FOR LITTLE GIRLS THAT YOU DRESSED UP LIKE A JEDI AND YOU ARE A GROWN MAN CARRYING IT AROUND A THEME PARK!!!! GAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
I never felt like I needed to come home and take a shower so badly after witnessing this.
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If you want to get your photo with this serious mo-fo, better stand in line!
Chewie didn't have as long as a line, but honestly, do you really need your picture with a walking carpet? It's not like he's Domo or anything...
"I could totally be a storm trooper. I have the build for it, and I could seriously kick some rebel A$$!" - Adam (No, really, he honestly said this!)
I'm at a loss for words. If you have some, email them to Dan: mrt0ad13@aol.com
These aren't Star Wars fans, they really are a REAL rebel family! Good for them protecting the outer space and whatever...
"Can I show you my light saber?"
Star Tours gets a full queue on Star Wars Weekends....DUH!!!!
It's time! Adam's forehead is going to get frozen in carbonite!
Apparently they carbon froze Drew Carey! He's gone for 255 years! This is the most amazing thing that ever happened to mankind!
"Really? Come on. That's the one thing I asked you to change for real. Kind of serves the same purpose just to link to it. I take it all in good stride, that's just the one that's a little more out there. Just a personal request. Everything else I'm cool with."
WARNING!!!
THE FOLLOWING IMAGES ARE DISTURBING AND HORRIFIC! PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE READING THIS UPDATE UNLESS YOU HAVE A STRONG
STOMACH AND ARE FREE FROM ANY HEART CONDITIONS OR MENTAL ANGUISH. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! TURN BACK NOW!!!!
The following images can only be described as.... "THE MANY FACES OF ADAM!"
ARE YOU STILL WITH US??? OH MY GOD!!! HE'S STOP BREATHING!!! SOMEONE CALL 9-11 NOW!!!! OH, GOD!!!! WAKE UP!!!! ARE YOU OK???
OH, THANK GOD, YOU MADE IT THROUGH THAT ALIVE!!!
Which expression says "I molested an Ewok?" 1,2,3, or 4? Please respond below and vote. The winner will get a 1 gallon bag of tonton semen.
This is what Adam looks like in 3D...or this is what Adam looks like the first time he's getting a........
Apparently this in the inside of Adam's head. This is the stuff your worst nightmares are made of!
This is what Adam will eventually look like frozen in carbonite! For only $120!
I'm going to end this update with this photo...because it is quite simply....the greatest photo ever taken! The expression on Renee's face just sums it up, and I would have to assume this is how most women look at Adam. I would like to take this moment and have a caption contest. Everyone, if you could please write a caption for this picture below. Renee will select the winner, and we will send you something really cool from Star Wars weekends! (Honestly, it will be something really crappy from Star Wars weekends, but we'll really send you something!) So please, write you caption below!
That's it! End of this update! POST YOUR COMMENTS NOW!!!!
Also, the inside of Adam's head is something no mere mortal should have to witness.
