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Coasterbill's Alcohol, Coaster and Culture Trip Reports Land

Postby coasterbill » Fri May 20, 2016 9:25 am

2016

TR 1: Busch Gardens Tampa 2016 (below)
TR 2: I Drive Shenanigans, Fun Spot and a Terrible Tourist Trap
TR 3: Magic Kingdom (Disney Fanboys, Please Avoid)
TR 4: SHAMU!!!!!!!!
TR 5: The Desolate Sh*thole known as "La Ronde"
TR 6: LA Ronde Part 2... Where The Hell Did the Staff Go?!?!?!?!
TR 7: We finally escaped La Ronde!
TR 8: Poutine, Beer, Bobsleds, Arrows, Jesus and Comets!
TR 9: Jersey-Shore-Credit-Whore-Tour-2016-Ft.-Boldikus,-Alcohol-and-The-World's-Greatest-Log-Flume-Watch-The-F**King-Tram-Car-Please-You-Drunk-A**hole Trip Report ® Part 1 (Featuring Six Flags Great Adventure)
TR 10: Jersey-Shore-Credit-Whore-Tour-2016-Ft.-Boldikus,-Alcohol-and-The-World's-Greatest-Log-Flume-Watch-The-F**King-Tram-Car-Please-You-Drunk-A**hole Trip Report ® Part 2 (ZOOMIN AND FLOOMIN)
TR 11: Jersey-Shore-Credit-Whore-Tour-2016-Ft.-Boldikus,-Alcohol-and-The-World's-Greatest-Log-Flume-Watch-The-F**King-Tram-Car-Please-You-Drunk-A**hole Trip Report ® Part 3 (Featuring Great White!)
TR 12: Wildwood and Seaside (Part 4) - If she doesn't get the Jersey Shore references in this report, SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO

2016 Reports I was too lazy to write:
Kings Dominion / Busch Gardens and the Center of the Universe from last October - By Boldikus
Hersheypark with Boldikus and the gang from last October - By Boldikus
Holiday in the Park with Boldikus from last December - By Boldikus

2017
TR 13: Dollywood Opening Day (different thread)
TR 14: Mystical Midwest Road Trip 2017 Part 1: Kings Island
TR 15: Mystical Midwest Road Trip 2017 Part 2: Kentucky's Dick Rock Kingdom!
TR 16: Mystical Midwest Road Trip 2017 Part 3: Holiday World and Some Bill Paxton Level Sh*t
TR 17: Mystical Midwest Road Trip 2017 Part 4: Coney Island! (No, the clean one)
TR 18: Mystical Midwest Road Trip 2017 Part 5: Cedar Point Day 1
TR 19: Mystical Midwest Road Trip 2017 Part 6: Cedar Point Day 2
TR 20: Coasterbill's Klassy Florida Adventure 2017 - Universal Orlando Part 1 and the World's sh*ttiest airline!
TR 21: Coasterbill's Klassy Florida Adventure 2017 - Universal Orlando Part 2!
TR 22: Coasterbill's Klassy Florida Adventure 2017 - Sea World and Fun Spot
TR 23: Coasterbill's Klassy Florida Adventure 2017 - Busch Gardens Tampa!
TR 24: Six Flags Great Adventure and the Hotel Directly Responsible for Snooki
TR 25: Boozin' in Wildwood 2017
TR 26: Hydrus, Crazy Mice, An Awful Pinfari and Margaritaville!
TR 27: Adventureland (No... not that one... or that one... keep going... yeah, that's the one)
TR 28: A Michigan Adventure to Michigan's Adventure
TR 29: Six Flags Great America Part One!
TR 30: Six Flags Great America Part Two!
TR 31: Chicago and Some Nasy A** Pizza Soup!
TR 32: Cedar Point and Some F*cking Alpacas (no literally)
TR 33: Whales, Dolphins, Sea Lions and over 400 Horses!
TR 34: Busch Gardens Tampa and Howl O Scream!
TR 35: Four parks in one day! (And our first ride on Mine Blower!)
TR 36: Phuckin Phoenix Phall Phunfest 2017 Day One
TR 37: Phuckin Phoenix Phall Phunfest 2017 Day Two
TR 38: Invad(R?)ing Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens Williamsburg!
TR 39 which is totally out of order: Holiday in the Park Opening Weekend 2017 at Six Flags Great Adventure! (different thread).

2017 Reports I was too lazy to write:
Great Adventure Opening Day 2017 - By Boldikus
Six Flags New England and Lake Compounce - By Boldikus
Wildwood Weekend - By ytterbiumanalyst. His report is probably better than mine since he was sober and remembers sh*t. lol
Six Flags Great Adventure (Fright Fest) - By Boldikus

================================================================

TR 1: Busch Gardens Tampa 2016

Hey everyone! Last weekend we were down in Florida for our cousin's wedding and because I have nothing better to do today I figured I'd do something I almost never do and grace everyone with my piss poor attempt at a photo trip report. I might be a little light on photos as I never intended to make this trip report but it's a slow day at the office so why not?

The wedding was on Saturday in Tampa so we decided to take Friday and Monday off from work and stay in Orlando (jumping around to different hotels seems like way more trouble than it's worth). Normal people would have spent their three theme park days at Universal and Disney but given my unhealthy love affair with a certain roaring B&M with a zero g roll from hell in Tampa and my girlfriend's love affair with a certain fun-loving group of orca whales in Orlando we did things a little differently. We also just enjoy supporting SeaWorld because it annoys our idiot Blackfish-watching friends.

Day one was spent at Busch Gardens Tampa, a park we usually visit at least once a year and absolutely love. At the airport on Thursday night we had heard that SheiKra had suffered a "terrifying" breakdown where it stopped on top of the lift and based on the way it was being reported killed approximately 3,000 people so naturally we were bombarded with warnings from our concerned loved ones trying to save us from almost certain death by visiting Busch Gardens, all of which we ignored because we're awesome and brave like that. ;)

Line's were pretty short all day but we opted for Quick Queue unlimited due to the hot weather so we could ride Stanley Falls whenever we damn well pleased and so we could skip the line on Cheetah Hunt (both rides had about a 30 minute+ wait all day). The park opened at 10:00 but all that really meant was that Cheetah Hunt was open and we were welcome to line up for all the other closed rides that weren't going to open for at least 30 minutes. Once things started to open up we sort of bounced around so rather than trying to go in chronological order I'll just give my thoughts on the major rides and then go through a few other noteworthy things.

Scorpion:
This was our first ride of the day. We rode it in the back row and then got to re-ride in the front since nobody was in the station yet. Is there anything not to love about Scorpion? It's smooth, the loop is amazing and it's a fun-filled ride that seems to appeal to everyone. Praise be to Anton. (3x)

Sheikra and Falcon's Fury:
Neither of these rides moved once the entire day. Maintenance was actively working on Sheikra but Falcon's Fury was a ghost town. While I love both rides, it's no big loss. I always assume Falcon's Fury will be closed so when it's actually open it's a pleasant surprise and given the events of the previous day I expected that we might miss out on Sheikra.

Kumba
This ride honestly just pisses me off. With Fury being the lone exception, how is it that while other companies keep getting better and better with time B&M has taken a huge step backwards. Kumba is complete perfection. Every element on this ride is taken at such a ludicrous speed that it puts all other B&M's to shame. This ride probably features my favorite dive loop on any coaster, the best cobra roll on any coaster, some of the best corkscrews on any coaster and a zero-g-roll that's so good it should be illegal in all 50 states. Riding this thing in the back row on the far side of the train is complete bliss. I don't smoke but I usually feel like I need a cigarette after riding it. (5x)

Cheetah Hunt
After our first few rides on Kumba we rode the flume and then von rolled our way to the front of the park to ride Cheetah Hunt. God I love this thing... it's not quite up to the level of Montu and Kumba but it's a tremendous coaster. The low to the ground portion of the ride over the water never gets old and it features a few really nice pops of airtime. (3x)

Stanley Falls
This ride had a pretty healthy line all day and was the main reason we bought Quick Queue. It's just what the doctor ordered on a hot day. A nice splash without soaking you, some nice sections where it meanders around, a few fun drops and a few fast turns also. Thumbs up from me! (4x)

Congo Rapids
By this point you've all heard about my love affair with log flumes and my disdain for every other water ride in existence not named Journey to Atlantis or Escape from Pompeii but since it was pushing 100 degrees and we could skip the hour long line we thought it would be a good idea to try out Congo rapids. We thought wrong. As usual everything below the waist including socks and shoes (which must be worn) got soaked and the other half of you (the part you want to get wet which is why log flumes are great) stayed dry. Thanks for that Congo Rapids. That was my semi-annual ride on a water ride that's not a log flume to remind myself why I stick to log flumes. Thanks to quick queue we did skip a 60 minute line though. (1x)

Montu
I wonder if people who live near this park fully appreciate how rare it is to have a B&M duo like this (well, really trio because Sheikra is very good in it's own right). Normally we ride inverts in the front but this is absolutely a back seat ride. The raw power of this ride is flat out ridiculous. It pulls insane G forces throughout the entire ride all while being perfectly smooth. Snapping into that pretzel in the back row might be the most forceful element on any coaster I've ever ridden. How did we go from this to Banshee? I swear as you're snapping through that element if you listen closely you can almost hear the ride yelling "Hey Banshee, f**k out of here with that s**t". (3x)

In addition to those rides we also spent a lot of time looking at the animal exhibits and took a ride on the train and multiple rides on the Sky Ride (I know you're all shocked... if "Von Rolling" was an olympic sport I'd win a gold medal. Sky Rides are life, sky rides are love).

A few other things of note;

- I love Cheetah Run. Cheetahs are seriously some of the most beautiful animals on earth and seeing them run is flat out stunning. If you go to Busch Gardens Tampa and don't stop to watch the Cheetah presentation then you're doing something wrong.

- On the subject of shows... Iceploration... kill it with fire. What a waste of time. And who the hell thought it would be a good idea to sit in an air conditioned theater watching a terrible show after suffering through Congo Rapids? Oh... right. My bad. By the way we skipped "Opening Night Critters" because we saw it last time but that's a great show and I highly recommend it. I don't recommend Iceploration though. What a pile of crap.

- Guest service is top notch at this place. Every employee we came in contact with was outstanding. They give Disney a run for their money, especially the animal staff.

As always we had a great day at BGT. They easily have one of the best coaster collections in the country and when paired with rides like Falcon's Fury, the water rides, the great flume, the awesome animal exhibits and the great food this place is really a gem.

And now a few pictures...
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On the way to Florida I was informed that watching "Why Planes Crash" on the plane is frowned upon.
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This is why we're here. B&M should close down the factory for a few days and go on a field trip to ride Kumba so they can remember how not to suck.
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This ride is complete greatness. The pacing, the excellent location. Everything about it is wonderful. Oh and Cheetah Hunt is cool too.
IMG_2015.JPG
o̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ The only good thing about Congo Rapids is that it offers some great views of Kumba
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An image of happier times... before we rode Congo Rapids. Look how optimistic and stupid we were back then.

Noteworthy: We have Cheetahs on our heads.
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The train from Nairobi to Congo is awesome. Not only does it offer great views of Cobra's Curse but you get really close to the animals.
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And speaking of Cobra's curse. This thing looks great. Here's a view of it from the train. We got to see it testing a few times and can't wait to come back and ride it.
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This ride really looks awesome. I think I may be more excited for this than I am for Mako.
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This park is gorgeous. Williamsburg gets all of the attention but this place really goes toe to toe with them.
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Gorilla's can't talk. But if they could I imagine given his expression that he would inform me that if I posted another Sky Ride picture he would eat my face off.
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Thankfully that Gorilla was behind glass so he can f**k off.
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And I leave you with one last picture of Cheetah's... because Cheetah's. Thanks for a great day Busch Gardens!!!

More to come!
Last edited by coasterbill on Mon Nov 20, 2017 10:19 am.

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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby boldikus » Fri May 20, 2016 10:24 am

YAY! I love this. Great report and some awesome photos, you should do it more often!!! =)
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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby DILinator » Fri May 20, 2016 10:40 am

Excellent TR! Love the captions under the pictures especially! BGT is awesome! I definitely wouldn't make a trip down to Florida, without making my way over there!

And while I actually love a lot of what B&M has done since Kumba, there is no doubt that it is one of their crowning achievements!
Top 10 Coasters! 1.Fury 2.Millennium Force 3.Maverick 4.The Voyage 5. Lightning Rod 6.Storm Chaser 7.El Toro 8.Phantom's Revenge 9. Goliath (SFGAm) 10. Ravine Flyer II Honorable Mentions: Shivering Timbers, Kraken Underrated Coasters: Steel - Manta, Wood - White Lightning

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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby coasterbill » Fri May 20, 2016 2:53 pm

Thanks guys. When I took these pictures I had no intention of doing a trip report so I wish I had a few more, most of them were just me screwing around or taking pictures for Facebook but it turns out I took some halfway decent ones. lol

Plenty more to come from Fun Spot, Magic Kingdom and Sea World

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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby Nrthwnd » Fri May 20, 2016 3:00 pm

Those shots of Cobra's Curse are great!
Thanks for sharing your trip, there.
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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby Wily J » Fri May 20, 2016 3:31 pm

Quality over quantity- great captions as well!

:)

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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby TBpony414 » Fri May 20, 2016 5:23 pm

Yay, TR from Coasterbill! I fully support this and encourage more behavior of this sort. I don't get down to FL often (once every decade it seems) but the next time I go I'm definitely telling Disney to talk to the hand and going over the Sea World and BGT instead. How long did it take you to get from Orlando to BGT?

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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby mike541x » Fri May 20, 2016 6:26 pm

Great TR so far Bill. It's been three years since my last visit to FL and just looking at pictures of Kumba and Montu alone make me want to head down there now.

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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby strz » Fri May 20, 2016 8:52 pm

Ughhhhh.......can't get my clan to by into the fact that there is life outside of Disney! Enjoy the trip!

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Re: Coasterbill's Florida Adventure

Postby coasterbill » Tue May 24, 2016 7:23 pm

Alright, so time for part 2 from Friday night.

After Busch Gardens closed for the day we went back to Orlando for some shenanigans on I Drive.

I know some people hate them, but we love tourist traps. Love, love, love them. We have a tradition whenever we're in an insufferable tourist trap to go out of our way to find the absolute sh*ttiest place on the entire strip and go there after a few drinks. This led us to "Dracula's House and Currency Exchange (no refunds)" in Niagara Falls and we were determined to top that experience Friday night.

I think we succeeded.

I've never seen a miniature golf course that was entirely hidden from the road before. They had a flashing neon sign out front and huge walls everywhere, it looked like a strip club only there was some guy out front who looked like he'd just done all the drugs in Florida holding an alligator for absolutely no reason. That's right, I'm talking about Gator golf...

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Little did we know the crappiness that would ensue


Gator golf advertises "over 200 gators" which is entirely B.S. The concept is actually pretty cool, the combination of miniature golf and tons and tons of alligators but in reality there were only a dozen or so gators and a golf course that looked like it may have been cool once but was now in horrible shape. Luckily for these guys I doubt anyone ever went there because if anyone did they would have PETA on them faster than you could say "holy sh*t what a ripoff". Most of the "theming" was rusted and discrepant, some gator pools were abandoned and are most likely the origin of west nile virus and some holes didn't work at all.

No seriously...

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Somebody tell me how this is supposed to work.


Sure we had been drinking, but when we came up to this hole we still had a pretty good concept of what gravity was and why this hole never got the memo. If you hit the ball under the green that's elevated for no reason at all it would just disappear forever because there were no ramps or openings on the other side. You don't start from the top because that's stupid (plus then what's the point of the front section) and... and... god get us out of here.

Luckily when we turned around we saw a bunch of wood lying around so I guess they were working on correcting the problem. Hopefully somebody figured out what a ramp was.

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lol wtf???


After we saw that we quickly rushed through the last few holes, happy to get out of there as fast as possible and proud of ourselves for finding the absolute worst tourist trap on I drive.

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Goodbye Mr. Gator. Sorry about your horrendous living conditions, we'd help but we've got some drinking to do.


After Gator Golf drove us to drink we figured we'd head to (brace yourselves locals) Señor Frogs!

I get the idea that no locals would ever be caught dead in this place since everything was overpriced and you had to pay for parking for seemingly no reason but we didn't know any better. Live and learn I guess...

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As you can see, we decided to start acting like adults and were no longer wearing cheetah's on our heads.


Truth be told we had a great time at Señor Frogs in a "that was cool but we're never going back there" kind of way. We were exhausted by that point but we weren't about to let our night end yet. It was time for one more pit stop, one of my favorite places in Orlando. Fun Spot!

I have to admit, I'm incredibly jealous of everyone that lives in Orlando. You can ride world class rides 24/7, 365 days a year, you have great weather, you have Disney and Universal right on your doorsteps but for some reason I'm more jealous of Fun Spot than anything else. They're open until midnight every night, there are never any lines and you could just stop in for 10 minutes whenever you want and ride a killer wood coaster and get a cheap beer. What's not to love about this place???

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First stop, White Lightning!


This is a great little coaster. It has tremendous pops of air, a fast paced layout, fun laterals and all things considered probably more airtime than any other coaster in Central Florida (until Mako opens). They added some new lights to it which really make it pop and the ride was just as good as we remembered it. Everyone needs to stop by and ride White Lightning when they're in Orlando.

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White Lightning and Freedom Flyer: Note the new lights


We weren't planning on staying so we bought individual tickets but we knew we had one more ride to ride before we could leave. Feast your eyes on the most messed up Paratrooper on planet earth.

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It looks innocent but it WILL try to kill you.


We learned the last time we were at Fun Spot that this thing puts all other Paratroopers to shame. They crank this thing up to 11 both forwards and backwards (yes... backwards) and when you reach the top you feel like you're almost about to go upside down. I don't know what they're feeding this thing but it's nuts, and the long ride cycle makes it the best bargain in Orlando at 3 bucks a ride. Kudos to Fun Spot for managing to turn a nice little family ride like a Paratrooper into a white knuckle thrill ride.

After our ridiculous paratrooper ride it was about midnight and we decided to call it a night, but not before grabbing a beer and laughing at the unsuspecting people riding the Paratrooper from hell while we sat out by the water. What a great way to start out trip.

More to come!
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We love Fun Spot!

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