Jump to content
  TPR Home | Parks | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube | Instagram 

PTR: Brent's HHN, Knott's Haunt & Luna Park Sydney Halloween


Recommended Posts

With the Aussie dollar going through the roof and airfares going down the toilet. I decided to make a spontaneous trip over to LA to check out HHN and Knott's Scary Farm which I have wanted to do years.

 

All I can say is that I couldn't get enough of Halloween, and walked out the gates of Universal after 3am on Saturday night grinning ear to ear.

 

I have plenty of spoiler photos which I won't put up until after October 31, but there were plenty of amazing sights at this fantastic event.

 

To be continued...

9a.JPG.a0fd130e744eab1d22736266352f7f71.JPG

Hard times had hit the Dark Lords of the Sith, and light sabres had to be pawned for chainsaws. They even had to lay off Darth Vader, who now uses his ability to levitate objects by moving plastic bottles to states with return deposits.

To be continued....

9.JPG.fbee79ac60a0228032e5daf56ef9434d.JPG

The mazes and shows were unusually devoid of males. This is where they were, all night, waving money. This proved to be an expensive trip.

8.JPG.aeb577d8a8a9e8ee7d551735f2b79064.JPG

The master serial killer Norman Bates joined in the fun. Arise master Bates and don't forget to bring Hitchcock.

7.JPG.dd281ae797b59a644e2450ec0a12b5a7.JPG

Frustrated that every woman dies shortly after meeting him. A lonely and confused Michael Myers took to auto eroticism, though someone should tell him that doesn't involve humping cars.

6.JPG.f4262ec962e693cb09afba89124d123c.JPG

A Rob Zombie impersonator accused anyone passing by of heinous acts like public masturbation (to Rosie O'Donnell pics), copious fornication (with Rosie O'Donnell) and ACE membership. Unfortunately I wasn't there long enough to get my turn with Rosie. Meanwhile, pig head behind the girl waited patiently to give her a chainsaw wedgie.

5.JPG.609bb060d222c4ba6fe5f4fe47b0f663.JPG

This had something to do with Bill and Ted, well I reckon Keanu would have been up to running a casting couch for everyone on that stage, and I mean everyone.

4.JPG.4be47eecc4610b2c0778fc4ef952887f.JPG

Act scared and they won't leave you alone, a bit like ACErs. I couldn't tell in the dark whether it was blood or gravy covering those monsters mouths.

3.JPG.07a4f5284a42888e67a92a4b215974ac.JPG

The blood on the pick axe was from the last person who tried a miner/minor joke. In spite of this he did give me $50 to go get him a case of Bud Light.

2.JPG.352c3793bc8e73cf04f5a87ab670e98c.JPG

"Where's that screen writer who keeps using my name in vain, I am the true Diablo! The fresh Diablo of Hell Air! Oh, by the way my ass is on fire, isn't it? Argghhh!"

1.JPG.34b47d319831dedf5af9ef7b2b40709a.JPG

HHN opened like a Van Halen concert minus the flaming gong and David Lee Roth's woolie mammoth like chest hair portruding through his jumpsuit.

Edited by downunder
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 17
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Part 2: Going For The Juggular or Fangs For The Mammaries

 

I stayed on site at Universal which was wise considering I rarely went to bed before 5am.

 

Halloween Horror Nights was definitely my favourite experience ever at an amusement park. Which is ironic given I wouldn't even bother with Universal during the day. At best, Universal is a once every 5 years park, but not anymore - I'll be back next year for sure.

 

To be continued with reviews of all mazes....

9a.JPG.00280f2b817f03f41ca6761077c0510b.JPG

Thanks to some Weird Science from some nerdy types, the girls had been multiplied. Though they only had one heart, which they were fighting over. C'mon since when do girls like that have hearts?

9.JPG.c6fbbf9d27d3160241d0d688e2fe5600.JPG

Miner/minor who gave me $50 earlier to purchase alcohol for him was getting rather anxious for his beer. Murder came easy after the disappointment of not being able to convince Universal to put in a Miner Mike coaster.

8.JPG.e16797763d370af900e3a6bc41b658f6.JPG

You are what you eat, so in that case this individual is human. HHN was like Night, Dawn, Day, Happy Hour, and Discount Buffet of the Living Dead.

7.JPG.99229f885c5e68a16c1c4a42088a9b43.JPG

A real where are they now. The three stooges had been left to decompose in the Universal backlot. After Mission Improbable 3, Tom Cruise was consigned to a shallow grave in the backlot but they had mistakenly buried some other random angry midget.

6.JPG.e5c18ec256d16185d2080c9c26d1861e.JPG

We were hiking out in the woods, it was very hot and we had to take off all our clothes...What, mind wandering, back to the show.

5.JPG.26728195dd2f5790e924657c81b628a5.JPG

Okay I now have one reason to watch Watchmen, well, actually 2 reasons. They should have called Watchmen - Fantastic Two.

4.JPG.38b79abc59c79cb60369fe93ffe7be02.JPG

HHN was not recommended for anyone under 13. I think many 13 year olds would have started puberty after watching the Bill and Ted show. Production values at this show were not at Knott's.

3.JPG.80488a15ffd2673769d6a187ec8fc6bb.JPG

A sexy time that Bruno would not approve of. Best Janet ever, Susan Sarandon pass the baton (who knows what they would do with a baton in this production).

2.JPG.01085e7a9fee1bdba6d89c6e2e142ad3.JPG

Looking up at various times during the pre-show why did the name of a furry animal that dwells in rivers and builds dams come to mind?

1.JPG.f97697f00832046eecc97b582df01f89.JPG

Just an elevator ride and a short walk through the Hilton to Horror Nights. On the way back, an assisted late night drunken stumble through the Hilton, a half an hour trying to find the elevator button, and raised eyebrows from Sheraton security.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^Jason HHN was the shiz, you should check it out. Though I get the impression Orlando is even better.

 

HHN Part 3 - Somewhere Over The Rainbow or Mrs Johnson's Boy called Dick

 

The maze reviews:

 

Saw: The best maze in my opinion, and I am not a SAW fan - I've only seen the first one. I found some of the animatronics were so realistic it was hard to tell whether they were actors or not. Plenty of scares and amazing detail. I was glad I had a front of line pass so I could keep going through to take it all in. The worst I saw the line on Saturday night was 70 minutes for the Gate A challenged.

 

The Life and Crimes of Michael Myers: Another excellent maze, with great atmosphere which really captured the light and shade of the original Halloween film. Plenty of scenes with lots of interaction between actors. Timing was important with this maze because it was easy to miss scenes being acted out. Again, I just kept going back and back to take it all in.

 

My Bloody Valentine: Excellent, even if it wasn't as good as Saw and Myers. Plenty of scares, and good atmosphere. Though I felt MBV is hardly an iconic film to choose for a maze. Have they done Evil Dead (assuming they could get or have the rights)?

 

Terror Tram Not really a maze, more an elaborate scare zone in the backlot. Plenty of great props and well made up victims and victimizers. I loved it because it was real buzz to be able to go out onto the backlot and see things up close like the psycho house.

 

Chucky: probably the weakest maze, it felt like the regular maze during the year with a few Chucky's and extra gore thrown in there. It really lacked a defining theme inside, still fun, but paled in comparison to the other mazes.

 

Coming up, more inside the mazes and Knott's Scary Farm....

9a.JPG.70879433c9cb0e5e63664db3fbfea14a.JPG

Big Mike is everywhere, does that guy have a teleporter or something?

9.JPG.180ac08c87bbf1c05bfd973a53d74508.JPG

I've heard of dicing with the devil but playing tonsil hockey with the devil.

8.JPG.ab1d3312aecdb7b8259bc68f902f7870.JPG

More Twilight gayness, yes Edward was outed in this show, sorry girls. Elton John inspired him to play piano. Elton was waiting for him backstage with something that looked like a stake and a gallon of King Island cream.

7.JPG.86c075f271806f7279b656a5feb81177.JPG

No this wasn't a tai chi demonstration. A few cracked coconuts in that sack. I wish infomercial guys would really death match like this. Dream death match: Robb vs the President of ACE.

6.JPG.014debce3f0ab003fe67a21521f3e083.JPG

Damn, I was going to use that as my porn name. What name to use now: Wang Hung, or maybe Dick Pound (oh taken too), Clint Hardwood - tough decision.

5.JPG.39052467f02a3f58dbfd9413df69875c.JPG

The funniest thing is that there is an actual celebrity in Australia called Dick Johnson and no one gets it except me. I could never meet the guy, I'd be laughing too much - "so Dick are you proud to be a Johnson?"

4.JPG.4120a25e57fe51e2a8a638596e8fb2d5.JPG

Lasik gone wrong, court case pending. Keep an eye out for that one.

3.JPG.041c2ed77c2f9184e96d20acd8235c66.JPG

In an exclusive preview of SAW XXIV. This poor guy was given an awful choice by Jigsaw (a) Give head (b) Lose your head © Join ACE. He begged for option (b).

2.JPG.8ab1fb8e9172b66bc45b7cf7c13fe570.JPG

Jigsaw had no shortage of willing new victims, which was necessary because they actually kill people in the SAW maze (which is why it is so realistic) - so they need replacements.

1.JPG.b68e1e7ada06854c3d45956d2d9cb1fb.JPG

Saturday nights without a front of line pass is recommended if you love waiting in line. More time to seduce your date waiting in those 70 minute lines I guess.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

HHN Part 4 - Inside The Mazes & More Shows

 

First up, I'll start with some love for the Front Of Line Pass, I won't say it's worth it's weight in gold because that wouldn't be much gold. Worth every cent, absolutely no wait for anything.

 

The Shows:

 

Bill and Ted

 

A really slick funny show, I loved the satire and found it refreshingly politically incorrect. 10/10.

 

Rocky Horror

 

I'm not a fan of the movie but I could appreciate the quality of the production, and the cool songs. Even though the show went for 45 minutes, I wasn't bored. 8/10.

 

Scariest Moment at HHN - I think I saw Joey when I was walking to the front of the Halloween maze.

 

Next Stop: Knott's Scary Farm

9k.JPG.a61d267f43782afad1b4b73dec29de36.JPG

If I had a head like that, I'd stick it an oven.

9j.JPG.2f77c3130c544b2af3bc3eb8c895b47e.JPG

Shaun was right cocky after they beat us in the cricket. Getting beaten by England in cricket is like getting your ass kicked by Steve Urkel.

9i.JPG.4d9c8e9394eca6cce45f34ad547b2f07.JPG

You know they can't touch you, so why are you scared, there was a rumours around the park that ACE members had escaped from their basements and were under the masks, fair enough, be very afraid.

9h.JPG.71574a4d248b36cd888246aa66a2f597.JPG

I heard they have this stuff out during the day, I can see 3 years olds saying "Daddy why does that body have no skin?" Makes the birds and the bees talk seem easy by comparison.

9g.JPG.062176923e804a07bc2bfff2897d94bd.JPG

What a mess, almost as trashed as my gate at LAX on the way home.

9f.JPG.96789aabbbb388ed5aeced7003121ae4.JPG

After further investigation, I found that the killer was just cashing in on the body organ black market.

9e.JPG.aa080d532f2c5e99655b661339ad1dfd.JPG

When the My Bloody Valentine Killer is around, it's wise not to be a wallflower.

9d.JPG.6b5dc396dddaab41d877c74853f7e530.JPG

In this scene Michael Myers bursts out of a closet on the left, which was met with howls of "ha ha Michael Myers has come out of the closet" from me.

9c.JPG.2ac8d45802e8a1730ddfdd0eb15a0782.JPG

I was chatting to her and then that c*** blocker Michael Myers had to come in and strangle her.

9a.JPG.278ca0026f0e46f2a3f82cf2716711bc.JPG

The funniest thing I saw all night was this headless guy changing shifts with the next headless guy, he walked in no head and all, the other one got up and walked out.

9.JPG.e9efa07cbd0b9d11ae98dfff34bdb9a8.JPG

It might be worth bringing a band aid or two if you have a slumber party with Michael Myers.

8.JPG.9eeaa8f81b42c656cfd0f528893a3109.JPG

This is the kind of health care you get when you don't have insurance.

7.JPG.1e5973318a27f33ad0c4227219aadb40.JPG

The truth about tanning beds, I'll stick with spray on tans from now on.

6.JPG.b83f4c5cfa578024606a19ca30cc7fba.JPG

Saying no to drugs was a little difficult given the circumstances.

5.JPG.d04aa58aad27c4913be7d021a2950431.JPG

Chucky really doesn't scare me, I'd totally drop kick his ass.

4.JPG.97c981e8b14d3c17e356a5d8e1282a91.JPG

Riff Raff got really scary when he started talking time shares.

3.JPG.4d77559fb48e6808987251f88d26421b.JPG

Two more reasons the Bill and Ted show rocked.

1.JPG.fbfd85c1e5af9110812f43fb9e529846.JPG

The Bill and Ted show delivers for skinny Asian guy fetishists. At least they spared us the extra details from The Hangover.

9l.JPG.c480f05f2a37803ed9e840fbff0d0e77.JPG

The final word on HHN from Michael Myers - HHN Rocks, front of line passes rule, Knotts Scary Farm drools and he loves TPR - they make him feel normal by comparison.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

^The pig is one of the outfits the killer in Saw uses I believe, I've only seen the first Saw so I'm not super knowledgeable on the subject.

 

It was amazing, I've been to tons of parks and I'm pretty jaded but this blew me away totally, I'll definitely go back if there is enough new stuff to justify going. This year at USH the mazes were all new, so I'm fascinated to see what they come with next year.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Knott's Scary Farm Part 1 - The Not So Emo Black Parade

 

After it rained most of the day on Wednesday, it cleared up nicely by 4pm for my first night of Knott's Scary Farm.

 

I'd just done HHN the previous weekend, so the bar was set impossibly high for Knott's.

9k.JPG.500444e48b863dfdf08c1d736a13509b.JPG

Haunt Dick made the call and it was scare time. To be continued...

9j.JPG.dff560631f7f324f615b30315ac5dc4f.JPG

The Dick Kinzel of Haunt arrived, has Dick K actually heard of Knott's? Maybe if they changed the name to Cedar Point's Southern Californian Resort he'd care.

9i.JPG.069de5e244a3fb3cc4cdc9a891d30af5.JPG

The wolf wasn't as scary as some of the cougars.

9h.JPG.56f8e4cfba5cdfa3085d7f9141cf9972.JPG

Rat Face was pulling big time by saying he was the "Magic Rat" from the Springsteen song Jungleland.

9g.JPG.f6296df009aa08e2d7ce2854a3e90107.JPG

Least scary award goes to gay mask guy. Congratulations, we believe in you.

9f.JPG.9d4aa67bcc9aa723512404592f795a92.JPG

Unfortunately, not one of the cast members, I am forever scarred.

9e.JPG.ac2be946d6ef6199745edd1715f1e874.JPG

The scariest part was she's available - a well known TPR tourist (and local) was seen lurking in the mist.

9d.JPG.4888f57c9aec24a4dcc4f1646c074a6f.JPG

Local male crack whore, he moved to Buena Vista because he was too classy for Garbage Grove.

9c.JPG.b28d87523b95f19c51fb2abf5f074949.JPG

This is what happens when ACE attempted cloning in their basement laboritory, an improvement actually.

9b.JPG.4919727a2a549c3e3e7fdcea62d2f930.JPG

Knott's management told Wolfy he only had to work on full moons, not a happy lycanthrope.

9a.JPG.95584bf7034296bba444919826eed3d4.JPG

An actual zombie child, with no ritalin required.

9.JPG.83f027f4aa117565cbe02c803e091311.JPG

State of the art animatronics - Buena Vista style.

8.JPG.0d7884e69e4b2805ed19e6bcefb53a23.JPG

Ironically, on every other visit to Knott's it actually was a Ghost Town - like an all you can ride (or stand) buffet. But not tonight.

7.JPG.6b817c6887d88a60f58f3994d3d58106.JPG

The men in yellow wielded their metal detectors like they were compensating for inadequacies in other areas.

5.JPG.0361c973d84bea07c1ff0875b839bc7a.JPG

The heinous crime of attempting to bring in non-Knott's food was punishable with a bring your own lube body cavity examination.

3a.JPG.79d785d01d71b71f3a5841a8914ed3be.JPG

Ghostrider had recession proofed the practice of Chiropractic in the Garbage Grove/No Buena Vista area.

3.JPG.ee52cb624bd7d208debf3406f157c601.JPG

The weather had cleared nicely for haunt, Los Angeles residents seem confused by rain.

2.JPG.2666403573f2602b94d73a06007f04fb.JPG

Well the action McDonald's does in my stomach is scary enough - down then up (or worse still, out very quickly).

1.JPG.4ef20df2ec03028e61f92681b01cc28c.JPG

I had a feeling McDonald's were going to regret this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Knott's Scary Farm Part2 - Production Values : Not At Knott's

 

Knott's had 13 mazes, which ranged in quality from almost Universal to slightly better than the Disaster Transport queue.

 

Two mazes covered in this instalment:

 

Pyromaniax - the log flume ride with a crap load of mist and people jumping out at you from the sides. Hardly state of the art but fun.

 

Quarantine - a busy maze, people don't really jump out at you, the scare actors just kind of stumble around in there and get in your way. The special effects were okay but it had good atmosphere.

9c.JPG.4736a929df41e88c17e851cc7a401b36.JPG

"Hand over your wallet, your dignity, your house, custody of the children, 80% of your income". Oh just kill me, or go on retainer with Tiger.

9b.JPG.6cefad19cbeb4ad2b9e06fde49759970.JPG

Pus the ride, the bodily excretion experience. Now there's a concept for a new Epcot Pavillion.

9a.JPG.133ccaa58b40144ddcef7354d3125817.JPG

It was hard to tell the cast members from the park visitors. Everyone seemed kind of confused in the Quarantine maze like they were supposed to be rostered on somewhere else.

9.JPG.20273a467936169392b2fde1d55aa61d.JPG

Into the Quarantine to be shed of any unwanted diseases, huh, what classifies as a wanted disease?

8.JPG.eead4f953a9509c0794728758e8ff03e.JPG

This is what a summer working at Cedar Point leaves people looking like. "If I work that extra 100 hours a week I'll get that $0.10 an hour bonus".

7.JPG.5a1d4016c1453d64783df8420ecce94a.JPG

One of the friendly exit attendants at the end of Pyromaniax, nothing quite improves throughput like scaring people out of the ride.

6.JPG.f7dca43dd3299ed3a435ef4de9877c58.JPG

No Satan Claus just lots of fog which made things challenging for the scare actors to get people's attention. There was talk of flame throwers.

5.JPG.61ff545b14074dd780304896ae516997.JPG

Up we go into the red cave, was Satan Claus up there or Beatle Ben with a flashlight with red cellophane over it?

4.JPG.bddc8f0c00b3a9991d4582504ff8795a.JPG

It was advisable to get the ride mazes out of the way, Pyromaniax was first up. Not quite the flume of doom, but flume of moderate thrills.

3.JPG.20a8821b0dbea961a195b9febc4bc299.JPG

"I have to disagree with you, Monster Energy Drink is way better. Oh, by the way, aaaarrghhh!!!!"

2.JPG.13ce01eb89bf66c98249522c4bf87864.JPG

Some of the cast members had been sneaking to the beer stand on their breaks.

1.JPG.72b8d26e1041ae584f3a1c045ad0a5aa.JPG

Something told me this would a bad idea...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Knott's Scary Farm Part 3 - Knott So Scary

 

The scare zones at Knott's ranged from great to a little thin:

 

Ghost Town: awesome scare zone with some exceptional costumes, very foggy with all kinds of nasties in there.

 

The Gauntlet: another very atmosheric scare zone with plenty of great looking scare actors.

 

CarnEvil: very ordinary but mainly by virtue of being in the wide open spaces in the Xcelerator corner with a lack of darkness and corners to work with.

 

Mazes covered in this update:

 

Labyrinth: more a fantasy maze but still had people jumping out at you for some okay scares, it had a nice dreamlike quality about it and some good sets.

 

Cornstalkers: had some good scares in places but mostly pretty ordinary. One problem was that the maze was in a straight line and the walls made of hay were a bit threadbare, to the point where I could see Beach Blvd on one side. Without turns and corners the scare actors had less to work with.

9c.JPG.3661d6f200209b3f13af620bdf80d9be.JPG

"Are you happy with your carrier sir, I think I can convince you to change carriers". Staff on commission are way scarier than any monster.

9b.JPG.ec62bd50804eab748ceb1875bd07043c.JPG

The Guantlet had great atmosphere and more Pumpkins than Billy Gorgan's pool of touring musicians.

9a.JPG.4c0ae0641cea3b25ea301a974ee8705a.JPG

The monsters at Knott's seemed like the malformed children of the HHN monsters.

9.JPG.f002c848cc7180a364ae426364e205de.JPG

Labyrinth was almost exclusively manned by girls, especially on Thursday night. I was wondering why I kept getting drawn back to this maze.

8.JPG.e582a99c117d3ce72f61f50cd5b69ff8.JPG

The ACEers starved to death and withered away because there was no gravy at the buffet so they wouldn't eat.

7.JPG.c3b0d2000a2f444f5d470ee7aa74ba6e.JPG

I asked her for a scary look, well she tried, it was reflective of the scare level in Labyrinth.

6.JPG.ce56c3ca20daadc59d5b665bff9f3167.JPG

This guy kind of just sat there, got up walked a bit, and then sat there again. He should be in the public works dept of our local government.

5.JPG.9a2d0b5283fba149c5f8aa5caab0bd45.JPG

The guru of the Gauntlet, not to be consulted on spiritual matters. This guy's very presence scared people.

4.JPG.b091a2e62a20787a9c4efc4d8b215daf.JPG

The stalkers in Cornstalkers tried hard, I can think of a few coaster enthusiasts who would make good stalking consultants for next year?

3.JPG.937400311290a5ab880e9cab041b190c.JPG

Voyage fanboy who put T-Express at #150 on the Mitch Hawker ballot - I guess they really are cracking down on errant ballots this year.

2.JPG.e3505369b36529453598053ae54f650d.JPG

The corn fields next to the parking lot at Holiday world looked scarier, maybe they should hire inbred rednecks for the mazes, though a don't eat the customers module would have to be added to the staff training.

1.JPG.e29a938ce40e63342157ad358eafd8e1.JPG

Thank heavens for metal detectors, I could just see some gang banger getting scared and capping some poor scare actor with an uzi.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Knott's Scary Farm Part 4 - Deep Throat: The World Record

 

The quality of the 6 shows ranged from almost HHN to downright carnie:

 

Zamora's Sideshow Of The Bizarre: Downright wince inducing like Saw without the killing.

 

Inferno: Carnie girls in bikinis twirling fire, I only watched a bit of it, M is for Meh.

 

Chipper Lovell: Some comedy magic thing, I had better things to do.

 

I'll get to the other 3 shows later...

 

Maze covered in this update:

 

Slaughterouse: a bit on the dull side, lots of meat hanging around and the occasional scare but nothing earth moving.

9e.JPG.0258a2bade0ee61a25996b1abd1b7e8b.JPG

It tastes like chicken my ass. That's what I reassured myself with at Mrs Knott's Chicken's 3am post Haunt Buffet.

9d.JPG.523d4d0655638c069c7598c6c2caa077.JPG

I don't think the meat here was FDA approved.

9c.JPG.0260fb0a0d7dba34451a53c4624f72dc.JPG

Slaughterhouse was more the Mediocre Chainsaw Massacre.

9b.JPG.cca5a2823b81694b7ca5603d9ac17d3f.JPG

She was actually quite hot under the mask, literally and figuratively. I don't know how they do it, I put on a Michael Myers mask for 5 minutes and I was sweating.

9a.JPG.a95031a0103eab068e56e86e34bd7c64.JPG

Knott's Scary Farm, getting nerdy guys laid for 30 years.

9.JPG.f9fe8f464f1aacffc07a6da3e5083a1d.JPG

The Gauntlet rewarded all those who wear brown underpants.

8.JPG.5e419f4f43f11417f48bdf98dbc4811b.JPG

OMG - Kitty has talent, Knott classy but highly entertaining.

7.JPG.d4bc032a6bdef81d7c51e04db7e6f03e.JPG

Dear Lord please Kitty, please stop. No, don't stop.

6.JPG.423ca961990462faf6e1f918200e281b.JPG

Kitty Karloff would make John Holmes feel like pee wee.

5.JPG.ecc3f66758c6cec5725da7c500d72138.JPG

Zamora said it well: "If you're thinking it, then I don't need to say it".

4.JPG.bbf5ec508c54ca43597cb1e400f171ad.JPG

Zamora was hardly family fare, unless you are the Manson family.

3.JPG.1ec3bb88cd0f3218fb5dc9ba19724cab.JPG

Wolfy was still sitting on the fence about the new Wolfman movie. Though if Benedico Del Toro shows his face at Knotts Wolfy was going to tear it off - it's just what werewolves do.

2.JPG.856f29961e436a72f32f652478453e5b.JPG

Lethargic SFMM employee moonlighting at Knott's?

1.JPG.71acd74ad1809cbd0f3bd7e70d6dea48.JPG

Ghost Town had atmosphere, not found at Knott's during the day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^Knott's was a real mixed bag in terms of quality, some of the mazes were of the cardboard cutout variety and others were very nice.

 

Zamora's gig was a straight out freak show, I was surprised to see something like that at Knott's.

 

Maybe Walter Knott will rise from the dead next Halloween to voice his objections or take an unhealthy interest in Dick Kinzel's brain ("braaaiiins!").

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Knott's Scary Farm Part 5 - Kitty's Back and Mo' Mazes

 

Mazes covered in this update:

 

Terror of London: my favourite maze at KSF, very atmospheric and great characters roaming through the place, beats hell out of what is usually there - turn Mystery Lodge into a scary walk through.

 

Doll Factory: another fave maze of mine, it's odd and unnerving with cool sets, and a scary girl doing the robot.

 

The Asylum: fairly chaotic, some good scares.

 

Club Blood: some good characters in this vampire night club, very influced by Blade, though some of the animatronics were a bit ordinary.

9k.JPG.d69ddc251a854c0dfd325fd00d186d93.JPG

Not quite HHN standard - monkeys might not fly out of butts but apparently vampire bats fly out of vaginas (yes I said the "V" word).

9j.JPG.24e7c48320bfbd0237be1102760f23d3.JPG

Asylum led straight into Club Blood, which was fun for all those people who really get scared in the mazes.

9i.JPG.52b3747641bb5177828cd896c5fbe3dc.JPG

"Hey dude, I really suck!"

I ran for my life, more out of homophobia than fear of being bitten on the neck.

9h.JPG.dc36cfd3280321942a4763affa11f14e.JPG

I don't know what an electric chair is doing in an asylum but capital punishment fans were ecstatic.

9g.JPG.428c04ffc1dc7bebc50ac37e2aa472ae.JPG

An ACER even struck out with the mannequins, they came to life and ran away.

9f.JPG.257177c68aa2f801ad67345368a6ef63.JPG

I always wondered what the fat guy from Little Britain was up to these days.

9e.JPG.c7340fb170f25a46dda8c32f3a597203.JPG

Victorian era surgery was a bit more adventurous before malpractice suits became commonplace.

9d.JPG.fdc4e2e69561cf60f82655ca72cf0423.JPG

This girl was more persistent than a time share salesman.

9c.JPG.52ec5e2e9ba55f039e7f6a21cf956ffe.JPG

That looks like it hurt.

9b.JPG.a4f3defbf4292e5da6e0e0f4b8ecac26.JPG

Who let Michael Myers into Knotts?

9a.JPG.f18e1408829af630a8f65c205e9938f3.JPG

The muggers in no-Buena Vista are much classier than Garbage Grove.

9.JPG.5259925b5d75df697ec1530d2b6e4c8a.JPG

Baby forgot to take it's Ritalin.

8.JPG.df82954669b04dbe468c41784977bc71.JPG

"Oh yeah we think ACErs are scary too".

7.JPG.40efbbc7959a49cc9b28429422e461d7.JPG

Kitty: "Knock, knock?"

Little kid; "I'm still breast feeding, and I can't find mommy".

6.JPG.c025bfc36ab34da50e0424f8ffc1b9dd.JPG

Zamora always wanted to nail assistant Kitty but she always hammered him first, sexual harrassment mediation carnie style.

5.JPG.d15f5e614c09fb0d54303a5869b9e8d2.JPG

I got to talking coasters with Zamora after the show. Big Vekoma fan, when touring Europe he always tries to squeeze in a Goudurix marathon.

4.JPG.6c56d9ee811c67c8838ad5a24e129196.JPG

Dude: "I'm the lead guitarist of Fear Factory".

Kitty: "Wow, you have bigger tits than me".

3.JPG.8993f79ec7ff00a05f404ea05d4a3c1e.JPG

Kitty always treated Zamora like a doormat but this is ridiculous.

2.JPG.96b168b32638c5a57eb8a8e7ee0088a0.JPG

The work experience girl was getting nervous.

1.JPG.fa9d6937f80fe5f68eca6f6f506af286.JPG

Zamora always had this feeling that people weren't paying attention to him.

Edited by downunder
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Knott's Scart Farm Part 6 - Lust, Bobo and Lameness

 

Bloodlust: probably Knott's most professional looking show, part comedy, part serious vampire themed musical episodes. Not bad.

 

Professor Freaks Silly and simple play involving TV Ratings, studio politics, zombies and vampires. Worth it just for the proliferation of corny double entendres.

 

Mazes in this update:

 

Bobo's Clown Maze: Offbeat clown themed maze a few good scares but more humorous.

 

Day Of The Dead: unfortunately not based on the Romero zombie classic. Mexican themed 3D maze, very bright but pretty dead.

 

Alien Annihilation: worst maze there, a shooting maze but it just made you want to shoot yourself. Think the Disaster Transport queue except even more boring.

9i.JPG.0e8a648b07e5d942c6e35e90ec3ccb4a.JPG

I don't think this 3D masterpiece inspired James Cameron to create avatar.

9h.JPG.765648ba597323ec25aa6e25b9f01211.JPG

Maybe they can have a district 9 themed alien maze next year - "Prawn Uprising".

9g.JPG.cfc661289af0de788e7c700c00f26ff2.JPG

The dummies were more lively than the scare actors.

9f.JPG.722df53f7ef543d07a1857959ce9b83d.JPG

The maze was called "Day of the Dead" but when I hear that title I want flesh eating zombies and lines like "They're f**king dead and you want to teach them tricks?"

9e.JPG.59a65787f9708965a029ce085746fb0c.JPG

A bit of a contrast. Also I think the scare actors were getting into the Mexican theme of the maze by having a late siesta.

9d.JPG.95c838f708617f739ab79045d81d7d72.JPG

Only ten more shifts and I can afford breast implants and maybe also buy soap for Professor Freak’s mouth.

9c.JPG.d5394795556b7023172f50ab75a7ea1c.JPG

Professor Freak was truly the master of the double entendre, though rather disturbed by the deep voiced Vampirella.

9b.JPG.188fb9f48b39a4129e24f27f732a1b03.JPG

As if the mazes weren’t traumatizing enough, Ghostrider was doing brisk business – for the Buena Vista Health Services Industry.

9a.JPG.2b9862ea2b72b9968a8ebc4aca22b387.JPG

“You die Happy Gilmore!” Adam Sandler was seen running down Beach Blvd with a wet patch in his crotch.

9.JPG.613e1f0f61491c1256050bc5596b49e2.JPG

Maintenance must have run out of red nose paint.

8.JPG.d77d16fd0358cd57c8a6cd2135c61dc0.JPG

Bobo’s maze seemed focused on bodily emissions, fortunately not including reproductive ones.

7.JPG.b8135e4123d823719a35557391e83d0d.JPG

Dick Kinzel’s policy of one trash can for every two guests provided plenty of cover for scare actors.

6.JPG.24927da02dba1c49e8b3219242d1d937.JPG

In a cynical alliance with the nuclear waste disposal industry, unwanted nuclear material was being disposed of in souvineer balloons.

5.JPG.687dd84c0dc565f67426b77852938d98.JPG

At this stage I was praying for Wesley Snipes to make an appearance as Blade.

4.JPG.3a6e6a3b12f693189e7fb168d25006d5.JPG

Far worse than Chucky, little four eyes goes for potty time on people’s heads.

3.JPG.fd28f9f0cadc9c49f0c1336721c81319.JPG

What would you do if I sang out of key?

You’d just keep looking at really hot me

2.JPG.a0af200763d643959d390484cb50e087.JPG

Dude: “Why do I always get the redhead?”

Redhead: “Maybe if I close my eyes, he’ll go away”.

1.JPG.391e77bd9a9487a4cfaf4942c0838919.JPG

Blonde: “Not this guy again”.

Brunette: “No wait, an Aussie tourist walked in, yeah him instead”.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

Knott's Part 7 - The Final Sordid Chapter

 

The Hanging show was Knott's answer to Bill and Ted at Universal, by comparison it was about as close as a debate between Rain Man and Good Will Hunting - Universal rules. Though it was still trashy fun.

 

In summation, Knott's is way behind Universal for quality but is still plenty of fun.

1.JPG.8c9bc766309036298472eae074d38ae1.JPG

"Where have you been? You said you'd call, I boiled a bunny rabbit for you".

2.JPG.aa84a65333367ac24e3abcaab712e324.JPG

All the clowns at Knott's seemed to look drunk or stoned or confused, they were very happy clowns.

3.JPG.0473f6da3ce823b05130a7f97f0e232e.JPG

Knott's is the poor man's haunt compared to Universal right down to having to settle for Rob Zombie's obese brother Bob.

4.JPG.9606eec280f4f8247b6163a61cf7de59.JPG

Dumbledore did a big number about being gay backed by the village people. I'm surpised Dumbledore hasn't teached at a private school in Sydney, thank f*** I went public.

5.JPG.1e6f017db2b22096f506300e939cb15c.JPG

"I know it's your first lesbian kiss but you're going to like it, lots of tongue".

6.JPG.7f41355d608853a89938e0d0219c5803.JPG

The Titney Beers trailer pulled up at Knott's for some lip synching awesomeness.

7.JPG.46aa3d088a684ea2791e4ee50b135048.JPG

Blade you're our only hope, no more emo Twilight vampires, please.

8.JPG.b7a80986b2390a80cacc4a784c5862cf.JPG

Once the 17 year old realised she had hooked up with a 138 year old who didn't even have a pulse - revulsion ensued and the statutory rape police followed.

9.JPG.ade0d61f7b2b48f9ddf45d12ec22c186.JPG

James T Kirk gets all the girls his legion Trekkie followers can't, I guess he's living their wet dream.

9a.JPG.4e1bd0e90e72a8da3e086200e7786f93.JPG

There were two good reasons to enjoy the Hanging show.

9b.JPG.8cd694e289ddef5dd533a5d1de61e0fc.JPG

This number was from Ben Dover The Musical, Dumbledore is credited as the choreographer.

9c.JPG.c6239c52055c6fc514d697f6ad69823b.JPG

Granny Pants the sequel, time to close the back door.

9d.JPG.8339f01fffcbd1d6980ee94c17d9ec44.JPG

The most horrifying thing at Knott's haunt, I'm having the part of my brain that stores that memory removed.

9e.JPG.ce8dab8c705aedba04ce83bb5ed96ac7.JPG

They all pledged allegiance to Knott's Scary Farm, until they successfully audition for the Bill and Ted show at Universal.

9f.JPG.b48eaa778615b29e6f4723713bdb5377.JPG

Silver Bullet ran well in the dark, it was almost exciting.

9g.JPG.3ff14e4466124114dbe13407598aa2c5.JPG

Knott's was fun, and I'm a Haunt fanatic now - I'll be back next year.

Edited by downunder
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Luna Park Sydney 31st October, 2009

 

It's Halloween at Luna Park Sydney, let's see the amazing Halloween spectacular at the number 1 amusement park in Sydney.

P1070077.JPG.ca3dcdcf590fa7602f7bbf8a3f7c6d97.JPG

Standing on the most prime piece of real estate in Sydney, this is porno for property developers.

P1070078.JPG.50051931b1e4084dce9083cf45e8a0c7.JPG

It's time to do the clown, welcome to the number 1 amusement park in Sydney.

P1070079.JPG.214cfc051a489bb47b574a87d83358ff.JPG

They have a lot of pass options, the "Get Stupid" pass was available at the bar.

P1070080.JPG.24f570b2ae43c55806143e9683e536bc.JPG

Barefoot rugby league? As a former professional in the sport, that would be more like the broken foot rugby league.

P1070083.JPG.7d6e0cb8288dbb1e460212d09e04aa26.JPG

I passed on an annual pass, yes it's what you think, payment involves giving oral pleasure to a pot bellied clown. If I had an annual pass and used it regularly, I'd die of boredom.

P1070089.JPG.a4916c2264761fd00e7246ba49008c31.JPG

The cast members obviously didn't get the memo that it was October 31.

P1070108.JPG.3be8202aac9d59da27284f1c2c3fcd3f.JPG

Cast members were harder to find than salad at an ACE buffet.

P1070111.JPG.09f7561294dbe426a53801e738e17bca.JPG

Time for the number 1 coaster in Sydney, the only coaster in Sydney. I'll just close my eyes and pretend I'm on Superman Ride Of Steel (Bizarro never!) - not working. POV's to follow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use https://themeparkreview.com/forum/topic/116-terms-of-service-please-read/